Wonderful Life
by pulling-the-puzzles-apart
Summary: AU Blaine walks the same bridge in New York every evening considering jumping and ending his life. He decides to ring the Trevor Project Hotline and hears Kurt's voice. Can he help him? Can he show him that it really is a wonderful life? Rated M for mentions of suicide and depression.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N**: This will start off a little dark but will get better I promise. The whole fic is based on the songs of the British duo Hurts.

* * *

Blaine was surrounded by the red metal structure of the bridge again, just like yesterday, at the exact time he came here every day. The lights overhead twinkled, reflected in the water beneath him causing the light to distort and ripple. He wondered what would happen to the water if he were to jump in, disturb its peaceful wave and never surface again. He stared at the winding waves for the longest time, just watching the reflections of the bridge, the lights and the moon, the traffic rushing past on one side. He had been walking along this bridge every night at exactly 9 o'clock at night for the last five days and no one had stopped him, no one had asked if he were ok. He laughed ruefully to himself and without humour.

He stared at the water, flowing and eddying beneath him. It almost felt like torture to be this close to something that could be his downfall despite it looking so peaceful now, with just the wind changing the stillness. Blaine closed his eyes against the wind that suddenly blew over his face, bringing the smell of the water to his nose. He desperately wanted that peace that water always brought. He remembered that feeling he had had this morning in the bath of being completely clean and he had tried to stay as still as possible to let the water complete its magic. The water had that hold over him now, if only he could just walk through it, slowly going under, being submerged rather than plunging to his death. He didn't want drama, just peace, an overwhelming need to be taken over and control taken from him.

He noticed the rocks at the side, far away from the bridge and they looked like danger to Blaine who was so far away. Their jagged edges represented feeling stranded, no help, no friend and the thought of the tide taking him away was not a good feeling. He would rather be submerged, cleaned, made better. It wasn't that he wanted to die as he stood looking over New York from the Williamsburg Bridge, rather he just didn't want to live anymore.

This was his secret. The secret place he went to as soon as he moved here from Ohio. He always loved water and going from place to place, his father finally seeming to settle them both in New York, he had gravitated towards water wherever he had lived. There was always a moment before he returned home to his dad and their new apartment where he considered falling from the bridge and he would imagine the wind in his hair, the rush of air out of his lungs, his arms wide. He would feel free until the water would hit him with its full force and he would die. No longer alive, bearing the guilt or the worry and anxiety. He would be free in that moment and no longer need to cling to anything, like he did now.

He stood there considering again his options, coming to the conclusion as he continued to watch the ripples below, that he would never do it, never have the courage but he knew he couldn't keep coming here. The temptation to complete his intention often overwhelmed him and he knew it was dangerous to keep coming here. He got out his phone and found the number he had saved in his phone the day before and he considered ringing. He knew he needed saving, wanted this to end but he winced against the wind hitting his face, at the thought that he was beyond help. He rang anyway.

"Hello, you've reached the Trevor Project helpline, how can I help you?" The voice was so optimistic but calm that Blaine instantly relaxed and found himself smiling.

"I'm on a bridge, I'm hoping you can persuade me not to fall," he said simply, no attempt at humour, just truth. The wind howled a little louder around his ears and he almost didn't hear the man on the other end.

"Oh gosh, don't do that!" he exclaimed, "I mean, that would be a great shame, just…" The young man stuttered on his words, clearly never being in this situation before and Blaine almost felt sorry for him, his optimism fading. He sounded young, barely out of high school.

"I don't really know what to do," Blaine said, suddenly feeling a sob threaten to escape and his chest constricted in the cold air.

"Don't jump, please don't jump," the boy continued, "I mean, why do you feel like jumping?" he asked, clearly remembering some of his training.

Blaine thought over the question. There were so many reasons why he wanted to jump and he knew he could never explain himself fully. He looked around at the water, the bridge, the lights and knew he should continue this conversation somewhere else.

"Life just seems a bit hopeless, no one cares, life just seems to get worse. It's not that I want to die, I just don't really like living." Tears worked their way down his face though he managed to keep his voice steady. The young man on the line paused for a long time and Blaine wondered if he actually had any answers, whether he had made a mistake in ringing, when he suddenly spoke.

"I don't know what you're going through," he said quietly, reverently, "But I can try to help, I can tell you that it does get better and that people do care." Blaine highly doubted that last part until the young man added his final statement. "I care."

Blaine couldn't remember the last time someone had said that to him and this total stranger was saying it without knowing Blaine at all.

"If you could say one sentence to me before I jump what would you say?" Blaine asked suddenly, desperate for him to say something to make him think and feel alive again. He knew it was simplistic, he knew that one sentence couldn't change his life but he needed something. The young man on the other end paused, clearly thinking about his one chance to say something profound, feeling the heavy weight on his shoulders.

"I think I would say: don't let go, never give up, it's such a wonderful life," he finally said and Blaine breathed out at the simple statement.

"Ok," he said simply, feeling a small smile twitch across his lips.

"Ok?" he asked incredulously.

"Ok," he repeated, "I mean, it doesn't remove or change anything but it's a start."

"Yes, it's a start," he said kindly, clearly relieved, "Can you ring tomorrow, at the same time?"

"You do regular calls?" Blaine asked.

"Yeah, I can call you if you prefer."

"Will it be you that I speak to? Your voice?"

"Yes, if you want to," the young man said quietly, "My name's Kurt."

"Yes, I'd like that," Blaine said, without saying his name, "I'll ring at the same time tomorrow."

And he hung up, walking along the walkway of the bridge, back the way he had come, trying to return home and feeling a little lighter.

* * *

**A/N**: I appreciate all reviews - let me know what you think, thanks for reading.


	2. Chapter 2

Blaine was there again. It comforted him to know that no matter what happened at school during the day, this place still remained – the darkness, the bridge, the water – it was all as it was before.

He wasn't on the bridge this time, just a few metres away, sitting on a bench, wrapped securely in his winter coat and red scarf. He could see the people walking along the bridge, the traffic speeding across and still the water carried on its way. People were always so desperate to go to places, to do things; Blaine just wanted to be.

He had sat on the bench for half an hour before he got the courage to ring again. Blaine wondered how Kurt would ensure he would answer so he thought it only fair that he ring him at exactly nine o'clock but he watched his phone tick past at 9.01 and he had still not rung. It blinked at him indicating the passing of time and he brought up the number, watching it like he had watched the water moments before. He clicked call just as the phone ticked over to 9.02.

"Hello, you've reached the Trevor Project helpline, how can I help you?" he said and Blaine breathed a sigh of relief. It was him.

"Is that Kurt?" Blaine asked, just to check.

"Yes!" he said, almost shouting, "Is this the guy from yesterday?"

"Yeah, how many guys did you give your name to?" Blaine asked.

"Only you," he said sincerely. Blaine wasn't sure if they were supposed to be anonymous but he knew he didn't want to give his own name just yet.

"I'm really glad you called again," Kurt continued, "I've avoided all calls hoping you would ring."

Blaine nodded then realised Kurt couldn't see him and just hummed in acknowledgment.

"How do you feel today?" Kurt asked kindly and Blaine felt a little like a special case. He shouldn't be ringing, he wasn't mad, he shouldn't need saving.

"I'm ok," Blaine said, noncommittally.

"Where are you?"

"I'm sitting on a bench by the bridge."

"Good, what made you not go on the bridge today?" Kurt asked.

"I don't know really. I guess I know that if I keep going on the bridge that one day I won't have the courage to return home."

Kurt didn't know what to say to that. He had never got that close to death himself, though he had had those thoughts after the bullying he had received. The thoughts of his dad, his friends and his future kept him going. Maybe this guy had nothing, no hope.

"What made you ring?" Kurt asked.

Blaine considered the question for a while. The thought of telling someone close to him about how he was feeling was so abhorrent that his body shrank at the idea. There was something about telling a stranger that gave him control over the situation. They shouldn't judge, but if they did Blaine didn't have to speak to them again.

"I can't tell anyone at home, I have no friends here. It's easier speaking to a stranger."

"Why do you have no friends?" Kurt asked and Blaine suddenly wondered if he had a manual of questions to ask any caller.

"I just moved here from Ohio, school's hard."

"Ohio?" Kurt said excitedly, "I'm from Ohio! Whereabouts are you from? My dad still lives in Lima where I grew up."

"Westerville but we only lived there for a year before we moved again. My dad doesn't like to stay in one place for too long. I've only lived in New York for two weeks."

"Yeah it can be lonely here. I've only lived here for three months and luckily I live with a high school friend. It's hard to make new friends."

"I'm not sure if you're allowed to tell me," Blaine said hesitatingly, "But what do you do? You sound young."

"The rules are a bit vague here," Kurt said quietly, "I mean I'm not allowed to reveal information like my personal number or address but I'm allowed to talk to you. It doesn't have to be me just asking questions."

"Ok," Blaine said, quietly pleased that he could have a proper conversation.

"I'm a freshman at college, studying at NYADA and I volunteer here when I can. Are you at high school?"

"Yeah a senior," Blaine confirmed, "Isn't NYADA the performing arts school?"

"Yeah, it's really great actually. It took me a while to get in as I failed my first audition. The great Carmen Tibideaux thought I didn't show any emotional depth when I sang for her and my friend was at the winter showcase, which is a competition performance and she asked me to sing again. I have never been so nervous. I mean it was a room of excellent performers and tutors of distinction. I sang 'Being Alive' from…"

"Company, yeah I know it," Blaine interrupted.

"Oh great, you like musical theatre?" Kurt asked, suddenly excited.

"Yeah definitely, I mean it takes you out of yourself doesn't it?"

"Yeah it does," Kurt said, thinking that he had summed it up brilliantly. "I got in after that performance."

"You must have blown her away then," Blaine said kindly, "She sounds like a tough woman to please."

"Oh yeah she is," Kurt said laughing, "But it makes it all the more special that she accepted me the second time. I had to earn it, I had to work hard. I appreciate that lesson."

"Yeah I'd love to do that kind of thing when I grow up."

"Why don't you?" Kurt asked.

"Oh I'm not sure I'm good enough," Blaine said, a little surprised to be asked.

"Well practice is important as my best friend will tell you," Kurt said ruefully, "She knows entire songbooks of all the great artists and musicals. You never know until you try though."

Blaine felt a glimmer of hope at that. He had never tried, always flitting from one place to another, he had never known how to settle and just be. He knew his father wouldn't move him again, not while he was in his senior year and after that he could choose. Maybe he could go to NYADA too.

"Does your school have a Glee club?" Kurt asked. "Mine was great – I think it really was the best place at high school. I don't really know where I'd be if it wasn't for my friends there. They were completely mad, a whole mixed bunch of everything but we all loved to sing. It didn't matter that we were considered losers, we were losers together."

Blaine laughed a little. He didn't know about wanting to be a loser but he could definitely do with a place where he could belong. Maybe he would join after all.

"Were you bullied?" Blaine asked timidly, not sure if the question would be too personal. There was a long pause on the other end and Blaine was about to take back the question when Kurt spoke again.

"Yeah," Kurt said, "Quite badly at one point."

"I really hope you don't mind me asking but what did they do?"

"No I don't mind you asking," Kurt said, "It was the usual really – dumpster tosses, slushies in the face but there was this one guy that made it his mission to make my life a living hell. He would throw me against lockers, call me names, make me generally miserable."

"How did you survive it?" Blaine really wanted to know.

"I put up with it for ages, trying to hide it from my friends but eventually I confronted him. He had pushed me against the locker and I ran after him to the locker room. I was so scared, he kept shouting in my face and I felt sure he would punch me but he did something I was never expecting."

"What was it?" Blaine was now eager to find out.

"He kissed me," Kurt said as Blaine gasped slightly.

"Oh my gosh, that's dreadful," Blaine said.

"Yeah, I pushed him off and he ended up punching the locker in frustration. He never did it again but he threatened to kill me if I told anyone and I nearly left the school. My friends stood up for me, made it near impossible for him to hurt me in any way and eventually he left for another school. He didn't want to come out then, which I understand."

"Did you ever see him again?"

"Yeah but that's a whole other story," Kurt said laughing slightly, "Do you mind me asking if you're being bullied? Is that why school's tough?"

"No not really," Blaine said, "I mean I get the names that any new kid would get, they already seem to know that I'm gay. Maybe it's the bowties," Blaine said, laughing again without humour.

"Bowties are brilliant," Kurt said, a smile evident in his voice, "Everyone should wear bowties."

"That's what I think," Blaine said, returning the smile, "Thanks for listening Kurt. You're very good at your job."

"Oh that's ok, I've spoken about myself an awful lot actually," Kurt said, "Sorry about that."

"No I like hearing about your life. It gives me hope that this year might be easier than I think. Do you mind if I ring you tomorrow? I mean you don't have to, I just…"

"I'd really like that," Kurt interrupted, "I can ring you if you like. We're allowed to do that for regular callers here, to save them money."

"Yeah that'll be good," Blaine said and he gave his number to Kurt who said he would ring tomorrow at 9 o'clock.

"Thanks Kurt, I'll speak to you tomorrow," Blaine said.

"I look forward to it," Kurt said brightly, "Have a good night."

"You too," Blaine said sweetly and he hung up.

* * *

Blaine stayed for a while sitting on the bench until the noise of the traffic died down and the streets seemed less busy. He walked back to the apartment he shared with his dad and let himself in with his key, determined not to disturb his dad who might be sleeping. He opened the door to find him sitting by the kitchen table with a hot drink, clearly waiting for Blaine to return.

"Where have you been Blaine?" he asked as soon as his Blaine came in.

"Just for a walk, I didn't want to disturb you, to tell you where I was going," Blaine said, shrugging off his coat and going to make himself a hot drink too.

"Sorry I must have been asleep," his dad said apologetically.

"It's ok, work was probably tiring, I get it," Blaine said avoiding his gaze.

"How was school today?"

"It was ok," Blaine said shrugging his shoulders.

"Make any friends?"

"A few," he lied, "How was work?"

"Tough but it pays the bills." Blaine's father, Will being a teacher often found temporary work where he could and would move them from place to place. He was frequently offered permanent teaching contracts but would decline them, Blaine never really understanding why.

"Why was it tough?"

"Kids are brats and ungrateful, clearly don't want to learn about History but nevermind. What's your school like? Would you not want me to get a job there?"

"It's ok, I wouldn't mind especially as I'll only be there a year. The kids aren't particularly friendly but you know," Blaine said, shrugging his shoulders which he realised he did an awful lot lately.

"Where did you go on your walk?" Will said, changing the subject.

"Just by the river, watching the lights and that kind of thing."

"I think your mother would have liked it here," Will said looking out of the window at the blackness he found there. Blaine said nothing.

"I think I'll go to bed then," Will said, patting Blaine on the shoulder, who nodded politely and sat down to finish his drink. He looked through the window at the darkness and wondered if conversation would suddenly get easier or if he would always have to try so hard.

* * *

The following day at school, Blaine decided to take Kurt's advice and sign up for the school's glee club –the Melody Makers. He found himself finding the choir room after school that day and as he hesitated by the door someone spotted him and bounced forwards, ushering him in quickly.

"Are you Blaine?" she asked hurriedly as Blaine was practically pushed into a seat. He could only nod as she spoke again.

"I'm Robyn," she said, sticking out her hand, "Spelt with a y."

"Hi I'm Blaine," he said, shaking her hand and he was quickly introduced to the rest of the glee club. He could remember a handful of names – Bobby (a girl who definitely didn't like to be called Roberta), Zachary, Brad, Natalie and there were others but they were just a crowd to Blaine. They were clearly unused to new people enlisting and were protective of their little community. Blaine wondered if he was joining where he wasn't wanted but their teacher soon suggested he watch their newest performance and see what they were about.

They did a fantastic and upbeat performance of Jai Ho which Blaine wasn't expecting. Bobby took the lead and was as fierce as she had appeared earlier. Blaine was impressed. The group melded together well and knew their moves backwards. They had clearly rehearsed hard and Blaine thought he might have a lot of fun in this group. After they finished, Blaine was invited to show them something he had prepared but was given the option to sing the following day if he preferred. He explained he already had thought about his song choice, to which they looked impressed and he stood in front of them after quickly speaking to the guy on the piano.

He knew his performance wasn't going to be spectacular, he had no props or costume but he decided to bring a little truth and see where it got him.

_Sing me to sleep_  
_Sing me to sleep_  
_I'm tired and I_  
_I want to go to bed_

_Sing me to sleep_

_Sing me to sleep__  
And then leave me alone__  
Don't try to wake me in the morning__  
'Cause I will be gone__  
Don't feel bad for me__  
I want you to know__  
Deep in the cell of my heart__  
I will feel so glad to go_

Sing me to sleep

_Sing me to sleep__  
I don't want to wake up__  
On my own anymore_

_Sing to me_

_Sing to me__  
I don't want to wake up__  
On my own anymore_

_Don't feel bad for me_

_I want you to know__  
Deep in the cell of my heart__  
I really want to go_

_There is another world_

_There is a better world  
Well, there must be__  
_

There was a sort of stunned silence as the man at the piano finished. They hardly knew Blaine and where he had come from but the look on Robyn's face showed she thought he had come from somewhere special, so in awe of his voice and song choice she appeared to be. After a while there was applause but it was awkward as if they feared it would ruin the moment. The teacher, who suddenly introduced himself as Mr Bennet, clapped Blaine on the back and welcomed him to the group. Blaine, still a little dazed from his performance sat next to Robyn as others performed their chosen solos. Blaine turned to find Robyn looking at him curiously but with tears in her eyes and he just smiled awkwardly. It was only when the glee club ended that she caught up with Blaine after he had walked out and touched his arm gently.

"That was beautiful," she said so sadly that Blaine felt bad for making her upset. "Where have you come from?"

"Westerville, in Ohio."

"No I mean… no never mind," she said, waving her hand to indicate she knew she was speaking nonsense. "Fancy a coffee?"

"Yeah sure," he said surprised, his eyebrows raised, "I don't know many places around here."

"Well I do," she said smiling widely and placing her arm in his, she walked them to the school car park.

* * *

It was while Blaine was walking to the river that Kurt rang at exactly 9.00.

"Kurt?"

"Yes, do you mind me ringing?" Kurt said, sounding worried he might be a nuisance.

"Oh no I was looking forward to it," Blaine said, "Unless of course you don't want to ring, I mean…."

"Of course I want to ring," Kurt said laughing, "How was your day?"

"Actually really good thanks," Blaine said, "I joined the glee club like you suggested, made a new friend."

"That's great Blaine," Kurt said excitedly, "What did you sing?"

"Asleep by The Smiths," Blaine said.

"Oh," Kurt said, worried by the song choice, "That's a good song."

"I know it's a bit depressing," Blaine said smiling, "But it's where I'm at I guess and I wanted to be honest with them. They seemed to be impressed anyway and let me join."

"Well that's good. You must be amazing; I'd love to hear you sing one day."

"Oh I don't know," Blaine said, rubbing the back of his neck as he arrived at his familiar bench.

"You must be good if they accepted you."

"I don't think so," Blaine carried on, "I'm nothing special."

"Why do you insist on saying that?" Kurt asked quietly.

"Because I know it's the truth and its rather irritating that you keep insisting on telling me I'm something I'm not. You don't know me, I'm nothing." There was clear anger in Blaine's voice and Kurt didn't know how to proceed.

"I'm sorry," Kurt said quietly, "I know I don't know you very well, I just can't bear anyone thinking they're not beautiful in some way."

"You really believe that everyone is beautiful?" Blaine whispered, looking at the clear sky above him from his position by the river, sitting on the bench.

"Everyone has beauty, even you," Kurt said simply and Blaine continued to look at the stars shining brightly against the dark sky and felt tears spring to his eyes.

* * *

**Song quoted**:

'Asleep' by The Smiths


	3. Chapter 3

It was raining heavily and Blaine could hear the patter of the raindrops against the metal structure next to him. He was on the bridge today, instantly feeling ashamed that he couldn't avoid it. He knew that the closer he got to the bridge, the more likely he would fall, the beauty of the water below mesmerising, but today he couldn't avoid it. It seemed to call to him and even that thought made him think he was mad and in need of a straight jacket.

He looked at the water tossing below and wondered what it was about his life that felt so difficult. He had a dad – someone that was there for him no matter what, someone Blaine knew that loved him despite all the heartache and pain, despite the difficulty in conversation. Although he had moved from place to place, never settling, here in New York he finally felt like he could make a life for himself. Next year was suddenly full of possibilities and he could make his own choices. He had started to make some friends, though only tentatively. Robyn had seemed to take him under her wing and never left his side, prattling on and on but Blaine found it comforting. He looked at the dark inky water below and wondered why he so desperately wanted to go under.

It seemed to represent his feelings, that water, so dark and tossed about that he craved stillness and peace. Life was what you made it but he couldn't shake the feeling that he didn't want to live anymore, would be quite happy if he never felt anything ever again.

He could see the blur of his shape reflected in the water, constantly changing as the water was tossed about with the wind and rain and the sky seemed to howl above him. He was completely soaked by the rain now, his clothes clinging to him and it felt nice to have such a feeling of coldness envelop him. To feel so numb when his mind was twirling was a relief. He almost forgot the time when his phone suddenly rang and it made him jump, taking him from his reverie.

"Hello," he answered.

"Hello, its Kurt."

Blaine had forgotten and suddenly wanted to hang up. He didn't want Kurt to know he struggled so much despite Kurt already knowing why he had called the number. It felt like failure and he opened and closed his mouth against the rain hitting his face.

"Hello?" Kurt repeated, louder, more insistent.

"Hello," Blaine said in answer, giving nothing away and Kurt felt panic rise in his stomach. He knew.

"Where are you?"

"On the bridge," Blaine mumbled, clearly embarrassed to be back here again.

"Get off," Kurt said, slowly and firmly, "Get off and keep talking to me until you reach a coffee shop. Please."

It was the last word that made a difference. Kurt sounded so determined to help him but insistent, that Blaine knew he would do as he asked. He said nothing in reply but slowly, going against the wind Blaine walked along the walkway towards home, towards somewhere warm.

Kurt was talking but nothing was being heard, Blaine just concentrating on using his feet and walking straight. He carried on walking until he found a coffee shop and went in. Kurt could hear the tinkle of the doorbell overhead.

"Are you inside?" Kurt asked, sounding worried but still authoritative.

"Yes," Blaine said quietly.

"You should order a drink, you must be soaking wet and cold," he said, his voice softening.

Blaine approached the counter, getting stares from people sheltering from the rain inside the shop and a few curious baristas. He ordered a simple medium drip and walked to a corner table.

"I'm drinking a coffee now," Blaine whispered.

"Good," Kurt breathed a sigh of relief and could feel tears prickle at the corners of his eyes. He hadn't realised he had grown so attached to this man, this complete stranger but as soon as he heard he was on the bridge and saw the weather outside, he knew he needed help. Kurt swallowed, determined to keep his voice steady, no emotion displayed.

Blaine sipped his drink for a few minutes, allowing the warmth of the drink to fill his stomach, the steam warming his face.

"Sorry," he whispered after a while.

"Why are you sorry?" Kurt asked, surprise evident in his voice.

"I feel like I failed," he said quietly, "I shouldn't need to have you ring me to check up on me, I shouldn't need help."

"You didn't fail," Kurt said so sincerely that Blaine wanted to cry. Kurt sounded like he cared and it almost overwhelmed him. "Whatever you're going through, whatever you feel is not your fault. I will always try to help you, whenever you need me to."

"Will you talk to me about your day?" Blaine said.

"Ok," Kurt said feeling his heart ache that this boy needed such a distraction. He searched his mind for something he had done that was uplifting but couldn't really think of anything. He opted to talk about what had been bugging him instead.

"I confronted my best friend Rachel today," he started, "Told her she was being a diva and I challenged her to a musical duel." Blaine wasn't expecting this conversation and he found himself laughing. The idea of a musical duel sounded so ridiculously amazing that it suddenly seemed the funniest thing he had ever heard. Kurt heard his laughter and smiled, proud that he had done something right.

"You may laugh but it's deadly serious!" Kurt exclaimed with mock indignation, "She's been insufferable ever since she won the winter showcase, that performance I told you about?" Blaine hummed in acknowledgement. "She demands I make her tea and writes me notes on card to say she can't answer her phone because she is saving her voice. She ignores me in class so she can sit with these insufferable sycophants that think she's the greatest singer ever. I finally had enough. There's this midnight madness that goes on here. Anyone can challenge someone to a musical duel, someone officiates and a song is chosen randomly and people vote. It's our version of fight club."

"I used to belong to a fight club," Blaine said after he had finished laughing.

"Oh?"

"Yeah, it helped with my anger actually, I'd forgotten. Maybe I should take that up again, the boxing I mean." He seemed to be thinking out loud so Kurt didn't comment.

"Do you feel a little better?" Kurt asked timidly.

"Yeah thanks Kurt," Blaine said, smiling. "I'm sorry."

"Don't ever be sorry, I'm just really glad I could help. I'm always here…" There seemed an awkward gap as if Kurt was about to say his name then realised he didn't know it. Blaine took his leap of faith.

"Blaine, my name's Blaine."

"Blaine," Kurt said, as if testing the sound of his name on his tongue. "Well Blaine, I'm always here whenever you need me."

"Thanks Kurt."

* * *

Kurt rings the following night and is instantly happier to know that Blaine is in the same coffee shop as yesterday, rather than the bridge. The weather is better and Blaine knows he won't have any awkward conversations with his father tonight. His dad had been up when he came in from his walk yesterday, soaked to the skin and dripping on the kitchen floor. The only explanation that Blaine had given was that he just needed a walk. Will had looked at his son for what felt the longest time and Blaine thought he saw a flicker of something cross his eyes before he fetched him a towel and made him a hot drink. Nothing was mentioned and Blaine went to bed in peace.

Blaine very rarely slept. He enjoyed the stillness, often watched the stars and sometimes felt rested but rarely got more than three or four hours of actual sleep. He found sleeping difficult unless he was so exhausted his brain didn't remember images that flitted across his memory. The more sleep he got, the more likely he was to have flashbacks or nightmares and he hated explaining those to his dad.

"Hi Blaine," Kurt said as soon as he answered, "How are you?"

"It's ok Kurt, I'm in the coffee shop," Blaine said.

"That's good, how are you today?"

"Not too bad, just really tired."

"Tired? Why tired?"

"I don't particularly sleep very well but that's a boring story. How has your day been?"

"Fantastic actually," Kurt said, unable to keep the happiness out of his voice. "I beat Rachel last night at midnight madness, although it was very close."

"That's really good Kurt," Blaine said laughing for the first time that day. In fact Blaine only seemed to laugh with Kurt when he thought about it. "What did you sing?"

"Bring Him Home from Les Mis," Kurt said, "Which was lucky, I know that score backwards."

"That's a great song," Blaine said quietly.

"Have you been singing recently?"

"Not so much at glee club but I've actually been practicing more at home. Just a few songs but it helps."

"That's great Blaine. Singing is the thing that saved me the most when I think about it," Kurt said. "Singing helps you to express pain, helps you to feel. It's definitely my favourite hobby and I'm really hoping I can make it my career."

"I'm sure you're fantastic Kurt, I mean to win the duel and to be accepted into NYADA you must be. I'd love to hear you sing one day."

"Yeah, I was just thinking that about you," Kurt said wistfully, "Is that what makes you really happy Blaine?"

Blaine paused for a moment and tried to think back to when he was last happy.

"It used to," he said quietly, "I don't really know what you mean by happy. How does singing make you feel?"

"Oh gosh how to describe that…" Kurt said, "I guess it makes me come alive, like there is nothing else that explains me as well as music does. To hear me sing is to see me, utterly and completely but at the same time it's a great way to really perform or act. I suppose I'd say it gives me butterflies, makes me soar but other times it makes me feel things and cry. It reflects all I want to say to the world. Sorry ramble over," Kurt said apologetically and he laughs to himself.

"Yeah I definitely used to feel that when I sang," Blaine said after a while as if his mind was elsewhere and he had remembered. "I think it mattered who I was with and now those people have gone, I don't know…"

"Do you mind me asking who's gone Blaine?"

Blaine paused for the longest time, knew he couldn't say but was unsure how to say that to the one person he had trusted with all of this.

"I think it would be better to share that another day," Blaine said quietly, "Sorry."

"No that's fine Blaine, I understand. I lost my mum when I was eight so I completely get it."

Blaine didn't know what to say. Of all the people he could have rung that night, he rang Kurt.

"I'm really sorry Kurt," he said after swallowing fiercely to hide the emotion in his voice but Kurt heard and although Blaine couldn't see him, his mouth opened, reflecting his own turmoil.

"Blaine?"

Blaine didn't answer, just swallowed again, desperate to regain the use of his voice but more tears started to fall and he couldn't stop them.

"Blaine? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you, it happened so long ago. It was cancer. God I should just stop talking…"

"No," Blaine said suddenly in between sobs, "Don't stop talking," he said breathing deeply.

"Er, maybe if I tell you about her?" Blaine could only hum in response which Kurt took to mean a yes.

"She was lovely, what I can remember of her. Sometimes I worry that I've seen so many pictures of her that they've changed my memory, that I now see those instead of the real Elizabeth. That was her name. She was really beautiful, though I know I'm biased, especially as people say I look like her." Kurt chuckled slightly, and then continued, glad to hear Blaine's breathing starting to return to normal.

"She had strawberry blonde hair, blue eyes like saucers and I always thought she was like a Disney princess when I was younger. She taught me to cook and we used to bake cakes every Saturday. I made outfits with her for my parties or for school and she would sing beautifully. I always thought she was perfect, that there was nothing she couldn't do so when my dad told me she had a nasty disease called cancer, I assumed she would be able to get better, almost like she had magical powers." Kurt paused, remembering the first time he had hugged his mum after he was told it was cancer. "She told me that my hugs and kisses made her feel better so I did just that, until she had to go into hospital and she never came out." The tears had been falling as he spoke to Blaine but his voice had remained steady. He could hear the faint puff of Blaine's breathing now completely normal.

"I'm so sorry Kurt," Blaine said, tears evident in his own voice, "She sounds just like you."

"That's the nicest compliment anyone has ever said," Kurt said, smiling with happy memories and thinking how fantastic it was to have her as a mother, even if only for a while.

"You don't have to tell your own story Blaine," Kurt said after letting a comfortable silence fall between them. "I completely understand how hard it is, but I know what it is to deal with loss and whenever you're ready I'll be here."

"Thanks Kurt," Blaine said, tears forming in his eyes again but this time at the wonderful friend he had found purely by chance one night on a bridge.


	4. Chapter 4

Blaine was accosted as soon as he arrived at his locker the following morning. All he could see was purple shoes and frayed jeans from underneath the door to his locker.

"Blaine!" Robyn said excitedly, "I have the most brilliant idea."

He looked at her, her big brown eyes like a puppy, so expressive and happy, he couldn't help but smile.

"We need to go carolling!" He took a quick look outside through the wide glass doors at the entrance to the school and noticed the cold weather but looked back at her eager face.

"It was Christmas over a month ago," he said, looking confused.

"I know that silly," she said hitting his arm playfully, "But we can still go singing. I was thinking the old people's home in town and we could just sing winter songs. I've asked a few members of glee and no one seems that interested, but I thought you'd love it."

Blaine looked at her carefully. What about him screamed singing in front of loads of people? But he humoured her and smiled.

"I don't know Robyn; maybe people will be annoyed with us. Old people just want to sleep, not hear some teenagers singing. They'll throw things at us."

"Don't be silly;" she said again, "They've already said we can as long as we don't ask for money."

"You've asked them?"

"Yeah, they said they get people wanting to perform there all the time."

Blaine looked at her dubiously but just nodded.

"I'll think about it," he said but by the size of the grin on her face, Blaine knew she had already assumed he would say yes.

* * *

He ran the idea past Kurt that night when he rang at his usual time. Blaine was in his room, just finishing his homework.

"That sounds a great idea Blaine," Kurt said eagerly. "I've sung at an old people's home before."

"You have?"

"Yeah with friends. We used it as an opportunity to practice songs and hone our craft. Most of the time they really appreciate it, though I did have a cat thrown at me at a nursing home once."

"And this is supposed to make me feel better?" Blaine laughed.

"Well the nurses definitely appreciate it and it taught me a very valuable lesson."

"Which was?" Blaine asked after a long pause.

"Only sing songs they would have heard of, none of this 'modern rubbish' which was our main complaint." Kurt grimaced at the memory.

"Yeah good idea," Blaine said.

"This Robyn sounds interesting," Kurt said, "What's she like?"  
"Excitable, intelligent and very enthusiastic," he said.

"A good friend then?" Kurt asked.

"Oh definitely, she doesn't know anything about me really, doesn't know I go to the bridge or struggle with stuff but she doesn't seem to care what others think about her. She lives as if today was her last day and I admire that."

"That's really good Blaine. I'm glad you're making friends and I knew you would."

"I know, just moving around all the time I never really wanted to form friendships, I guess. She sort of found me though and won't leave. I think she's determined for me to enjoy life and I want to try to please her."

"That's a good idea," Kurt said thoughtfully. He seemed to be thinking so Blaine allowed the silence to continue. "Do you think maybe I could try something Blaine?"

"Ok…" Blaine said hesitatingly.

"Do you remember what I said to you that first night to persuade you not to fall?"

"Yes – you said that I shouldn't let go or give up and that it's a wonderful life." Blaine sounded confused, not sure where he was going with the conversation.

"It is but I guess you don't think it is most of the time?"

Blaine didn't know how to answer. He looked around his well decorated room, the dark wooden panels reflecting his mood most of the time. He knew his father loved him, knew that his future was a blank canvas and all avenues and dreams were open to him. He knew he had every reason to think life was wonderful but as he looked at his blank corkboard with only one picture attached to it with a pin he realised he hadn't been living his life. He seemed to live as if he was going to die at any moment, which instead of causing him to live life to the full, to experience everything he could like Robyn, he had given up.

"Blaine?"

"Yeah sorry, I guess you're right."

"Can I show you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Can I show you how wonderful life can be?"

"How would you do that?"

"You'll see," Kurt said a little mischievously, "Do you trust me?"

Blaine thought for a second. He knew that he only had two friends and Kurt had quickly become his closest, despite never meeting face-to-face. He often wondered if Kurt would ring if he didn't feel obligated but he hoped under different circumstances that Kurt would have been his friend in real life. He knew he would have to take another leap but imagining what Robyn would do, he decided.

"Yes, I do trust you," Blaine whispered and Kurt smiled.

"Good, then tomorrow the challenge begins. Can I text you the details later?"

"Ok," Blaine said, slightly worried, "Do you ring me from work every night Kurt?"

"No, I'm actually at home now, is that a problem?"

Blaine had thought it was very honourable for Kurt to work so many evenings at the Trevor Project, now he felt silly.

"No it's not a problem, I just didn't think."

"Would you mind if I text you later?" Kurt sounded nervous, like he thought he'd overstepped.

"Are we friends Kurt?" Blaine asked quietly.

"I know it's not conventional but I've told you more about my life than I've told some of my friends that I see face to face. I enjoy ringing you Blaine, I really do. I think we're the best of friends," Kurt said after a long pause and Blaine smiled at the thought.

"Ok text me later."

* * *

Kurt did text him but it wasn't what Blaine expected at nearly 10 o'clock that same evening.

To: Blaine [9.56pm]

**Hi Blaine it's Kurt. If you're free tomorrow night go to ****113 St Marks Place, which is between First Avenue & Avenue A. Go inside a hot dog joint called Crif Dogs. You'll notice people lingering outside an old wooden phonebooth near the front. Slip inside, pick up the receiver and await your instructions. **

To: Blaine [9.57pm]

**Remember to have fun! Kurt :)**

Blaine was perplexed at the cryptic instructions but for once he was actually looking forward to tomorrow and he went to bed with a smile on his face.

* * *

The next day Blaine did as he was instructed and found the street easily enough. It was nearly 8 o'clock when he arrived and in the darkness he made out a dingy looking hot dog joint. It had a black covering overhead with the header Crif Dogs, a white star separating the words. It looked a tiny place and Blaine saw a few people going in and decided after a while to take a risk. He did say he trusted Kurt after all.

As soon as he went in he saw what Kurt meant by the old wooden phonebooth and as it was empty Blaine decided to go in. He saw the old phone with its welcome sign above it:

_Welcome, this phone is our doorbell. Please dial 1 and we will be right with you. Thanks._

The writing was curvy and modern in capital letters making Blaine wonder what he'd let himself in for. He did as was instructed on the sign though and a woman answered.

"Hello?" Blaine said.

"Hello, have you made a reservation?" The woman asked.

"No I haven't," Blaine said sounding confused. He had no idea what he had to reserve a table for.

"Are you Blaine?" she suddenly asked excitedly.

"Yes, how did you know?"

"You're following instructions given by Kurt?"

"Yes."

"Great I'm Brittany. I used to go to high school with Kurt, in fact I was his first kiss," she giggled.

Blaine was even more confused. He had assumed Kurt was gay given that he worked for the Trevor Project hotline.

"Oh don't worry," she continued, understanding his silence, "He's capital G gay. Come on in through the other side." She hung up and Blaine was left to gingerly press his hand against the other side of the phonebooth. It gave way as an entrance and Blaine suddenly found himself in a bar. The bar was lit up and surrounded by comfy stools with brown leather covers. There were tables around the room but the girl who was clearly Brittany, her blonde hair in soft waves around her face, waved excitedly from the corner of the room. She pointed to the bar where Blaine walked towards and she sat him down next to him in one of the leather stools.

"I was so pleased when Kurt rang me," she said smiling widely. "I haven't spoken to him in a while and he said he needed this favour. I've only been working here for a month though and we can only have virgin drinks but that doesn't matter."

She promptly went behind the bar and poured herself and Blaine two virgin cocktails. She remained that side of the bar as she gave Blaine his drink. He remained confused and hadn't said a word so Brittany looked at him carefully.

"Do you know why Kurt sent you here?"

"No," Blaine said shaking his head.

"Look around," she said, indicating the different room and the phonebooth that he had come out of. "Have you ever been to a hot dog joint that is a secret passage way to another world?"

Blaine looked around and smiled.

"No I haven't."

"Exactly. Kurt didn't say how he knew you, didn't say why you needed to visit but I know that life is short and silly places like this remind you that life can be extremely fun. He asked me to give you this little note when you got here." She handed him a little slip of paper that had been folded once. Blaine gingerly opened it and read:

_Dear Blaine,_

_I hope you enjoy drinking with Brittany – just ignore everything she says, especially if she asks if you're a dolphin but enjoy yourself. This is a great bar and very fun. I have one more surprise which should start after you finish reading the note. Enjoy!_

_I'll ring you at 9 o'clock as usual._

_Kurt_

Blaine looked around and smiled. It was the strangest bar he had ever been to and he was just about to face Brittany, ask her what the final surprise was, when music suddenly blasted from the speakers in each corner of the room. A girl appeared from a door at the back and started to sing along to the beat of the music. Blaine instantly smiled, listening hard to the lyrics.

_Don't wait for an invitation  
No need for a reservation  
This life is an exploration  
And you gotta see what I see in you_  
_  
I can't wait one minute more  
The sun will shine  
The sun will shine  
We can't wait one minute more  
The sun will shine  
The sun will shine_

A guy came out from the opposite door at the back and sang the second verse. They started to bounce along with the music as the guy and gal joined together on the makeshift stage and although their attention was drawn to Blaine, he wasn't nervous, determined to enjoy the song and Kurt's surprise.

_Just think of the destination_  
_I'll be your transportation_  
_We'll find there's a kind of place_  
_That can only be seen with a naked mind_

The thought that Kurt had planned this made Blaine beam. He would normally hate attention especially as he wondered what Kurt's friends knew about him but as he sat and watched and listened, he knew that he needed reminding of how precious life really was.

_There's a key that opens a door_  
_Will you find it and turn it?_  
_Take your time, don't take too long_  
_There's a map that's washed ashore_  
_Will you find it and burn it?_

_Unleash your imagination_  
_Two stars, one constellation_  
_Bright lights just to guide the way_  
_Can you see what I see in you?_

He applauded the two that had sung with the people who watched from the bar and they retreated, their job seemingly complete. As the song finished he made a little promise to himself that he would try to enjoy life for what it was, see the blessings that were all around him and open the door. After sitting silently for a while, he turned to Brittany and smiled.

"Thanks," he said sincerely, "I better go, I'm expecting a call."

"Ok," Brittany said, seeming to understand or not need further explanation, "See you soon?"

Blaine just nodded and grinned.

* * *

He walked along the side of the Hudson River where he had spoken to Kurt before, this time avoiding the bridge and its possibilities. He sat on the bench and thought about what had just happened. He knew Kurt didn't know the whole story, knew he was just trying to help but he couldn't know what life was like for Blaine. He didn't want Kurt to think it would be ok now, that his worries could be solved by a few songs and new experiences. But the fact remained that it had made his day, he had smiled, he had forgotten. Kurt had helped.

His phone rang at exactly 9.00 and Blaine answered after two rings.

"Blaine?" Kurt said when he could only hear silence.

"Hi Kurt," Blaine said.

"Did you like it?" Kurt's voice sounded worried, like perhaps Blaine hadn't gone, hadn't understood.

"Yeah it was great," Blaine said his grin evident in his voice, "Thank you. It was the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me."

"Are you sure you liked it?"

"Definitely Kurt," Blaine said, "I didn't know what to make of it at first, wasn't sure if I would enjoy all the attention but they didn't know me so I could just sit back and listen. You chose the song?"

"Yeah, did you like it? That was my friend Rachel and her boyfriend Brody singing and Brittany I knew from high school. She was my first kiss actually," and Blaine could practically hear the blush on Kurt's face. "That is a long story," he said chuckling.

"I'd like to hear it," Blaine said kindly.

"Well," Kurt began, "My dad remarried when I was a sophomore at high school and I ended up with a new step-mum and step-brother. I watched as my dad got on really well with my step-brother Finn and I got a little jealous I guess. I thought my dad wanted a straight son like Finn. They watched sport together and always laughed and I wanted that with my dad so I pretended to like the same music as him and dressed up as him. I kissed Brittany just to see what it was like but I really am gay."

"That's good," Blaine said without realising how it sounded and immediately wanted to take it back. "Oh god Kurt, I meant – I mean I didn't mean…"

"Its fine Blaine," Kurt said laughing, "I know what you mean. It's nice to know other people go through similar experiences isn't? I wish I knew someone that was gay while I was at high school. It can be pretty lonely being the only out gay kid at school."

"Yeah exactly," Blaine said quietly.

"Is there no one out at your school?"

"No but I don't know. I haven't been there long and I'm not really out myself, though everyone seems to know. I've never told anyone I'm gay."

"What about your dad? Does he know?"

"No I haven't told him, he doesn't know. What was it like coming out to your dad?"

"I was really worried about it actually but I shouldn't have been. He was really supportive despite our differences. He always stood up for me, protected me from bullies and loved me just the way I am. I couldn't ask for a better dad. Do you worry about telling your dad?"

"No, I mean yes… I mean not really. I guess he loves me, I think he'd be supportive, I don't know why I don't tell him actually."

"It can be a really hard thing to do but I'm always here at the end of the phone if you need to ring me afterwards?"

"Actually that would be really good Kurt. Would you mind?"

"No that's fine, go home now and tell him and I'll pick up when you ring later. I don't have classes until midday tomorrow so whatever the time you can ring. Just text me if you don't want to ring, I get that it can be hard."

"Gosh Kurt I really don't deserve your friendship. I can't believe you would do all that for me, all of tonight, you don't have to do it all. I'm nothing and nobody." Kurt couldn't believe what he was hearing and his heart broke a little at the statement. He knew that Blaine really believed that about himself, wasn't trying to get attention and he wanted, above all else, to help Blaine realise how great he was.

"Blaine, you're not nothing. Gosh you're so amazing and I know I don't know what you've been through, but to come out the other side is really brave. I really wanted to show you tonight that there's more to life than worry and fear. You need to take chances in life otherwise it can be really lonely and scary. You are not nobody Blaine, you're something beautiful I promise."

"How do you know? You've never met me."

"There's more to a person than the outside. Beauty is the whole person and I've already seen your beauty. Don't you watch Disney films?" Kurt laughed. He couldn't possibly know what he had said but Blaine's breath suddenly hitched and Kurt felt the panic rise in his chest again.

"Blaine?"

"It's nothing," Blaine said, trying to calm his raging heartbeat, "I used to watch Disney films with my mum," he whispered.

"Used to?" Kurt asked tentatively.

"I can't Kurt, I'm sorry," his voice was just a quiet wisp of words.

"I'm sorry Blaine, I promise I don't expect you to tell me anything." There was a long pause as Kurt allowed Blaine to recover.

"I'm gonna speak to my dad now, can I still ring you later?" Blaine asked.

"Sure Blaine, anytime. I'm sure it'll go really well."

"Thanks Kurt, for everything."

"No problem, speak soon, bye."

"Bye."

* * *

He practiced what he was to say on his return home alongside the river as it made its way. He guessed his dad would be fine with it, knew he was loved but he was worried that he would be a disappointment. The mention of Disney earlier had reminded Blaine of all the wonderful Sunday afternoons he had spent with his mum watching the classics. As a child he had curled up with her to watch the Disney characters find love and solve problems, her fingers would stroke and curl his hair and he would sigh. They had been perfect moments and as he was walking past the river, tears falling silently down his face, he knew those moments could erase all the heartache, if only he could hold on to them.

As he entered his apartment, he noticed his dad watching TV from the sofa, a pile of marked essays on the coffee table and he looked up at Blaine and smiled.

"How are you son?"

"Good thanks Dad," he said, hastily wiping his face as he hung his coat on the hook. "Can I speak to you a moment?" Will looked up at his son, a serious expression adorning his face and he switched off the television.

"Anything wrong?"

Blaine sat down next to him on the sofa but remained looking at his hands, his dad waiting patiently for him to begin.

"Dad, I have something I need to say, I guess," he said, still avoiding his eyes.

"You can tell me anything Blaine," Will said, "Anything."

"I'm gay, dad." He whispered.

There was a long pause, Blaine not daring to look up. In that moment Will thought he had guessed why Blaine was sad here, not willing to talk and as he touched Blaine's chin, showing him his loving expression, Blaine felt tears spring to his eyes.

"It's ok Blaine," he said kindly, "It's ok." Blaine felt so relieved he let his tears fall and his dad smiled and brought him closer in a hug. They hadn't hugged in years, Blaine only a child, and Blaine tensed at the contact then seemed to melt against him, the feeling of being taken care of overwhelming. Ages seemed to pass but after a while Will looked at his son, tears still working their way down his face, he smiled at him again.

"I still love you Blaine, nothing will change that."

"Thanks dad," Blaine said quietly, a little dazed by it all.

"Is there anything else that's been bothering you?"

Blaine looked at his dad, his kind face so open to discussion that he wanted to tell him everything but he knew he would disappoint again and he couldn't do it. He wanted to be able to cope with this on his own and come to his dad all well again. His dad waited patiently but Blaine only shook his head and said he was going upstairs to ring a friend. It was only by the door that Will spoke again, causing Blaine to pause, his back still turned against his father.

"I miss her too you know," Will whispered, "So much." Blaine could hear the tears in his voice, didn't want to turn around to see his dad cry. "You can always talk to me about her, anytime Blaine." Blaine so wanted to talk, so wanted to describe his memories but he knew he couldn't without the guilt - overwhelming and painful. He only revealed something small but so important. Without turning around he spoke.

"I was thinking today about how I used to watch Disney films with her, I loved that," Blaine whispered, his voice stuttering on the words.

"She really was beautiful wasn't she?" Will said to Blaine's back. Blaine turned slowly, his eyes shining.

"Yes she was," he whispered and he left to go to his room, feeling a little lighter.

It may only have been small but he couldn't wait to tell Kurt about his conversation with his dad, knowing he would understand. He relayed it carefully, avoiding mentioning where his mother was but Kurt had never been happier. Hearing Blaine explain how he had come out to his dad, how a simple Disney related memory had made all the difference, Kurt felt tears spring to his eyes that Blaine was slowly dealing with whatever caused him to want to jump. As the conversation ended he asked the question he had been thinking about for a few nights now.

"Blaine, I wondered if you wanted to meet up in person?" he said hesitatingly, "I mean only if you wanted to…" Kurt started to ramble.

The thought that Kurt wanted to meet him was totally alien to Blaine, the idea that he was sought after almost ridiculous but he had said he wanted to be real friends with Kurt. It felt strange that he had become such close friends with a complete stranger but already Kurt was someone special. The thought of meeting him, of Kurt being disappointed, made Blaine hesitate and he couldn't do it.

"I'm sorry Kurt," Blaine started, "I want to meet but I can't. Maybe you should know everything before you meet me."

"Everything?" Kurt said. Blaine knew that it would mean the end, wanted to prolong their friendship without Kurt knowing what he had done. The thought of telling someone, explaining his guilt was almost overwhelming and Blaine suddenly thought of the water again.

"I've gotta go Kurt," Blaine said suddenly, "My dad's calling me. Speak soon." He hung up and Kurt felt the panic rise in his stomach again and desperately tried to ring Blaine again after a few moments.

_You have reached the voicemail of Blaine Anderson. Please leave a message after the beep._

* * *

**A/N: **The bar mentioned is called Please Don't Tell and is real. The description and address were found on the internet. Thanks for reading and reviewing.

**Song quoted**:

'One Minute More' by Capital Cities


	5. Chapter 5

_You have reached the voicemail of Blaine Anderson. Please leave a message after the beep._

Kurt tried again and again and let out a howl of frustration at the repeated message. It wasn't even Blaine's voice, just an automated message, nothing personal, nothing of Blaine except the repetition of his name, said in monotone. The first time Kurt had heard a few rings then the message, the subsequent times the message could be heard straight away so Kurt knew he had turned off his phone deliberately not wanting any contact from Kurt. He pushed his coat on quickly, grabbed a scarf and left his apartment, with only a worried expression from Rachel.

The weather was chilly, rain hovering low in the sky and no rainfall as yet but Kurt didn't care. He practically ran to Gates Avenue subway station, the cold air hitting his face and causing him to breathe even deeper. There were only a few people on the train but many were looking Kurt's way as he impatiently tapped his fingers holding on to the pole. He knew Blaine must have gone to the bridge and just hoped he wasn't too late.

* * *

Blaine stood by the bridge, just watching it. It seemed all journeys led to the bridge. Nothing could be heard, almost like it carried on without Blaine, the rush, the traffic, the people. It all carried on and Blaine just stood as one or two drops of water hit his head.

He didn't want to go on to the actual bridge, instead he just watched its stillness – so solid and unchanging; in a way it was a comfort to know that it would always be there, no matter how Blaine felt.

He could hear nothing, noticed nothing, including the rain that had started to patter over him so he didn't see Kurt approach coming along Kent Avenue.

As soon as Kurt spotted a man about Blaine's age just standing watching the bridge, he knew it was Blaine. He was standing so still, almost mesmerised by the bridge that Kurt knew to walk slowly, to wait. He watched him carefully as he got closer, realised this was the first time he had fully seen Blaine. Blaine was wrapped against the cold, his red scarf covering his neck, his hands tucked into his coat pockets but he seemed oblivious to the rain hitting his face and the cold air on his cheeks. He stood still, just watching and Kurt could see his profile clearly – his jaw set and strong, his lips rosy in the cold and his eyes dark with long eyelashes. Kurt was right – he was beautiful.

He came slightly closer, knew he would have to speak but didn't want to frighten him. In a strange way he looked at peace standing there, almost like he was facing his biggest fear, waiting to see if it would conquer him after all.

"Blaine," Kurt whispered in the night air, the words swallowed up by the wind and the rain and Blaine remained still. He walked closer so only metres were between them.

"Blaine," a little louder and this time Blaine turned slowly and fixed his eyes on Kurt. He didn't smile, didn't seem to recognise him at first but as they stood staring at each other, Kurt unmoving, Blaine shifted his body. His eyes widened as Kurt remained still and Kurt could see his eyes glow in the lights of the bridge, a swirl of green and amber, so tortured and hurt. Blaine's face softened, seeming to recognise Kurt for who and what he was.

"Help," Blaine said, a mere whisper of a word, nearly lost in the air but Kurt heard and came even closer. He hesitated and then Blaine seemed to physically crumble and Kurt closed the gap, enveloping him in the closest hug Blaine had ever received. Blaine seemed startled at the contact, then relaxed and Kurt felt his head rest slightly under his shoulder. Kurt rubbed his back as Blaine's chest rose and fell in what appeared to be sobs but no sound was omitted. Blaine had forgotten how protected and safe you could feel with one hug. Kurt wrapped his arms around him tightly, not threatening to disappear, just warm and safe. Time seemed to stop and Kurt stayed as long as he was needed. It was Blaine that parted first, his eyes full of unshed tears as he looked at Kurt.

"Kurt?"

Kurt smiled and nodded.

"I was so worried," Kurt said, "Don't ever do that again Blaine. I couldn't…" Kurt's voice trailed away at the thought of what could have happened, how Kurt would have reacted. He felt a lump in his throat but he swallowed and stroked Blaine's arm gently.

"Let's get out of here," Kurt said with sudden confidence and Blaine looked up at the sky that had been pouring steadily while they had been there together, as if he had only just resurfaced. Blaine eye's found Kurt's kind face, realised he had imagined someone totally different when he heard Kurt on the phone. Kurt's blue eyes twinkled in the lights of the bridge and his lips were pursed together in a smile, making him look so beautiful that Blaine couldn't believe he was here. Kurt simply took his hand.

"Let's go," Kurt said and he led Blaine away from the pain and the darkness, taking him somewhere better, full only of light.

* * *

They walked hand in hand to the coffee shop Blaine had visited before, Kurt feeling Blaine's tight grip in his. Kurt was almost amazed that he would tolerate such contact from someone he hardly knew but as he looked to Blaine as they walked, Blaine looked comforted at the thought that he was being led somewhere safe.

They entered the little shop, now making slight puddles on the floor as they ordered their drinks – medium drip and non-fat mocha - and found a corner table.

"I sat here before," Blaine said, his first phrase since the moment by the bridge, "When you rang me. You keep saving me."

Kurt looked to Blaine, not sure of his meaning, not sure if he wanted to be saved and maybe Kurt was a nuisance. Blaine smiled and Kurt's worry disappeared.

"Thank you for coming Kurt, I didn't expect it," he whispered.

"I meant it by the bridge Blaine, I want you to promise me that you'll never refuse my call, never hang up on me or give a pathetic excuse so you can go to the bridge. Please." Kurt's eyes were worried and wide and Blaine couldn't help but think he looked like an angel, sitting there in his light coloured jacket. The rain had caused patches to form on the shoulders and arms but the cold air only seemed to emphasise his cherubic qualities. Kurt blushed a little under his scrutiny.

"Why do you look at me like that?" Kurt whispered, grabbing his drink to distract himself and give his twitchy fingers something to hold.

"You're just not what I imagined, I'm sorry," Blaine said, his eyes finally parting from Kurt's so he could grab his own drink.

"I mean what I said Blaine, you have to promise."

"Why does it mean so much to you?" Blaine asked, truly confused, "You don't really know me, you don't have to care." It wasn't accusatory, Blaine really didn't understand.

"Are you serious?" Kurt said, almost annoyed, his eyes wide, his cheeks fully flush now under the sudden heat from the coffee. "You expect me to be indifferent? You ring me up one night threatening to jump from a bridge," he continued in a whisper, "We exchange conversation every night, I tell you about my mum, the bullying and you tell me about school, your glee club, you start to tell me about your family. This doesn't sound like a friendship between two indifferent people Blaine. You made me care, you shouldn't be so surprised when I do." Kurt sat back slightly after he realised he'd been getting closer to invading his personal space in an effort to keep his voice down. Blaine was taken aback.

"It's just no one's really cared before Kurt," he whispered, looking at the top of his coffee, "I didn't mean to dump this on you, I'm sorry." Blaine looked so small; Kurt wanted only to hug him close again. He placed his hand gently on Blaine's as it held his mug and Blaine's brown eyes searched his face.

"I don't regret anything Blaine," he said, "I am so very glad I picked up that phone, so proud that you rang, I just don't ever want you to be hurt, I care way too much, but there it is. You're stuck with me." He attempted a grin but Blaine only looked dumbstruck, his eyes wide, his mouth agape.

"Stuck with you?" Blaine whispered, "You really still want to be my friend?"

"Of course Blaine, there's nothing you could say to stop me."

"You don't know…" Blaine started, shaking his head.

"I don't need to know," Kurt said, squeezing his hand again, "I know you enough Blaine to realise that you wouldn't hurt a fly and that you've loved and lost. I know you have an amazing voice without hearing you sing, I know that you are so talented and full of dreams that as soon as the weight is lifted, you'll be free to realise every single one of them." He smiled to finalise his statements and Blaine blinked back tears. No one had said such amazing things, no one had believed in him so simply and sincerely.

"Now if you want to tell me about your family then you can but I won't pressure you. You do have to promise me that you won't shut me out again, that you'll let me help you."

Blaine looked at the greatest friend he had ever had and smiled, his tears threatening to overflow.

"I promise," he said and smiled.

* * *

Blaine gulped. He didn't really want to be here but as he looked at Robyn's happy and eager grin as she stood next to him, he knew this was really important to her. They were about to go into the room where all the elderly people gathered for tea and chat. Anyone that could move freely had seemed to choose to go elsewhere but the ones that remained had been sitting in the same spot for a few hours. Tea was brought to them, painkillers every few hours and muttered conversations were had in corners. Blaine knew this would be his toughest crowd to please.

Robyn had asked him constantly for a few days until Blaine had agreed only if they could choose the music carefully together. Blaine took Kurt's advice, deliberately choosing old classics by Frank Sinatra and Nat King Cole but also popular songs from older musicals and they had rehearsed over two days. As they made their way into the room, Robyn grabbed Blaine's hand and squeezed, beaming up at him from her short height. If he could make at least Robyn happy, Blaine would be glad.

They started off quietly, the older people not giving them any indication they were listening let alone enjoying the music or the song choices. They carried on and then out of the corner of his eye Blaine could see one old gent tapping his foot to the beat and Blaine smiled, nodding to Robyn, who grinned. They sang for over half an hour and were rewarded with tea and biscuits, Robyn dragging Blaine to sit with the old gent who had been tapping his foot along with the music. The man was dressed in his best tweeds, his elbows covered in leather patches and his skin in liver spots. His frail old hands showed his raised veins and tendons as he placed them on the arms of his chair but his smile lit up the room. All his teeth were showing and his eyes twinkling as he seemed to recognise Robyn.

"Hello grandpa," she said happily, kissing him on the forehead as she sat down next to him. Blaine shook his hand politely, looking from Robyn to the man in confusion.

"Grandpa, this is Blaine," Robyn continued, "Blaine, this is Grandpa."

"Nice to meet you sir," Blaine said as he took a seat near them.

"I like this chap already," he said grinning and nodding at Robyn. "So what you kids been up to? How's school?"

"School's actually pretty good," Robyn said, "Homework isn't so good," she said pulling a face.

"Oh boo," he said, "But you don't want people to say…" He touched her head playfully and they both said the following phrase together:

"What a beautiful head! Yet it is of no value, as it entirely lacks brains!" They seemed to get great enjoyment out of the phrase that was clearly instilled from childhood that their laughter had Blaine feeling like he was sucked into their happiness too.

"So Blaine," he continued after a while, "What do you plan to do with your life? What's your dream?"

Blaine was taken aback, it seemed everyone expected him to amount to something recently, but it was definitely nice to be asked.

"I want to sing," he said simply. Robyn nodded eagerly.

"He's great, isn't he Grandpa? I mean when he first sang The Smiths' 'Asleep' for glee club I thought I had died and gone to heaven or I thought that was where he was from." She giggled at herself. Blaine had never heard such simple praise from someone as unburdened and carefree as Robyn and he was suddenly very pleased that he had both Kurt and Robyn in his life.

"You're good kid," he said, looking directly at Blaine with his cold blue eyes, all the more honest amidst the lines and creases.

"Thanks sir."

"I don't really think he believes it Grandpa," Robyn was saying as if Blaine wasn't there. "He doesn't know but I know. Whenever I see him, whenever I hear him sing, I know. He's special and I want him to realise. No one really listened to me before Blaine." She suddenly turned to Blaine as if she had only just realised he was there. "You hear me and listen Blaine. Really you're my Batman," she said and at the realisation of what she had just said, she linked arms with Blaine, who hugged her close.

He had never really believed just simply listening could be so appreciated. He had drunk coffee with Robyn loads of times, often ate lunch with her and he would listen to everything she had to say, drinking it in, responding when needed. She never bored him, instead he loved her zest for life and her eagerness to enjoy it all. They had coffee together after saying goodbye to Robyn's grandpa who Blaine discovered was called Reg and Robyn rambled on again as Blaine listened. She explained that her parents had died when she was little in an accident so she had been raised by her grandparents. She still lived with her grandma but her grandpa was now too frail to walk and Robyn's grandma too old to care for him herself. Robyn visited nearly every day when glee wasn't on and Blaine said he'd like to visit often too.

"You really are my Batman aren't you?" Robyn asked as if she was suddenly worried Blaine would deny it all.

"Yes Robyn," he said beaming, "I will always be your Batman."

* * *

Blaine rang Kurt that night at the usual time, their relationship slightly different now they had met in person. They hadn't met again but Blaine or Kurt continued to ring at 9 o'clock and their conversations remained the same but they seemed to get even closer. The fact that Kurt stuck around, even after Blaine's worse had him thinking that maybe he could tell him a lot more about his life then he had before. Maybe, just maybe Kurt would understand.

"So how did it go?" Kurt asked.

"Actually really well," Blaine said and he continued to explain about Robyn's family situation and meeting Reg.

"Aww he sounds fabulous," Kurt said smiling, "It's sad about Robyn though. I know it's hard to lose one parent, let alone two. My dad nearly died of a heart attack a few years ago and I was devastated at just the possibility of him dying."

"Oh my gosh Kurt, is he ok now?"

"Not really, he told me over Christmas that he has prostate cancer, though it's in the early stages and he should recover. I just can't imagine losing him too," Kurt's voice had got steadily quieter and Blaine didn't know what to say, no words of comfort coming to mind. Blaine imagined what it would be like to lose his dad, to not have sorted things out with him beforehand and then it occurred to him that maybe his dad would be just as lost without him and he felt selfish.

"Blaine?"

"Yeah sorry, just thinking about my own dad. I really hope he gets better soon Kurt."

"Thanks," Kurt said and then after a while he added: "Whenever you talk about your dad Blaine he seems really nice and supportive. I mean how he handled your coming out, maybe you could talk to him some more, let him know that you struggle? Please don't take this the wrong way but my dad was so amazing when he found out about the bullying, I just thought maybe your dad would be understanding too?"

"Yeah he would Kurt, utterly and completely but I just can't," Blaine said quietly, already feeling ashamed that he couldn't do what Kurt seemed to find so easy. "I go to talk to him and I just imagine what he thinks, what he really wants and I know it isn't me. I know if the past could be changed that he would rather have my mum."

"What happened to your mum Blaine?" Kurt whispered gently, so aware that it was a difficult question.

"She died two years ago," Blaine said just as quietly, "In a car accident, along with my brother Cooper."

He had said it. Blaine had never told anyone, never let that sentence come out of his mouth, never let anyone that close. Kurt knew that had been the hardest thing Blaine had ever said and he felt sick to his stomach to know that Blaine had suffered this all on his own.

"I'm so sorry Blaine," Kurt whispered, tears starting in his eyes.

"It shouldn't be so hard," Blaine continued quietly, "The same thing happened to Robyn's parents as they returned from a party when she was five but she deals with it totally differently to me and I just don't understand why it's so hard." Kurt could hear a choked sob escape Blaine's lips and Kurt let his own tears fall in the comfort of his bedroom.

"Everyone goes through it differently Blaine, you're too hard on yourself."

"I guess, there's more but I can't say it yet," Blaine said, trying to get his voice under control but struggling with his breathing. "I can't bear the thought that you'll think differently when I tell you, that you'll hate me like I hate me."

"Blaine," Kurt said, "I could never hate you no matter what you did, I just couldn't. I know I've only known you a few weeks but truly you're one of my closest friends, really important to me. Never worry."

Blaine took it in, started to imagine telling Kurt all of it and seeing Kurt's face fall but he had felt slight relief at finally telling someone about his mum. Maybe Kurt could see past it all, maybe he was special enough to really understand and help him.

"Do you know the Calvary Cemetery on Laurel Hill Boulevard?"

"No but I can find it," Kurt said.

"Can you meet me there tomorrow?"

* * *

**A/N**: The following songs really helped when I wrote this chapter, so if you wanted to listen I'd really recommend them:

'Help' by Hurts

'I'm With You' by Avril Lavigne


	6. Chapter 6

Kurt arrived first and stood by the wrought iron gates leading the way to Calvary Cemetery. There were two thinner gates either side of the bigger gate in the middle underneath a big metal cross, leading to the sky. Cemeteries always unnerved Kurt who shivered as the sun shone brightly on a rare sunny day. The air still felt icy but the sky looked full of promise, blue with only a few clouds. His phone rang which caused him to jump and come out of his reverie.

"Blaine?" Kurt said surprised and hoping he wasn't calling to cancel.

"I'm already inside Kurt," Blaine said, his breathing already sounding difficult. "Can you meet me?" He started to give directions along the pathways, Blaine obviously picturing where Kurt was and having memorised the paths. Kurt looked either side as he walked, passing Egyptian style mausoleums and elaborate graves, hoping to catch a glimpse of Blaine. He didn't see anyone else and Blaine continued giving directions until he could see a small figure standing by a collection of gravesides. Blaine knew he was approaching now and he hung up, Kurt seeing his expression of stoic inscrutability and his despondent pose.

As Kurt came closer, Blaine took his seat on the bench and although Kurt hesitated, he soon sat next to Blaine but giving him the time to speak and start the conversation. They stared straight ahead and Kurt could take the time to see the nearest graves. There were two identical stones, a curved shape at the top and simple inscriptions of love. They were so tastefully designed, with simple yellow flowers underneath each headstone that they stood out as eerily beautiful by some of the gaudier gravesides.

_Grace Mary Anderson_

_Beloved mother and wife_

_Forever loved, forever missed_

_21__st__ May 1960 – 27__th__ January 2011_

_Cooper Charles Anderson_

_Much loved son and brother_

_Forever loved, forever missed_

_23__rd__ December 1982 - 27__th__ January 2011 _

As Kurt read them he realised today was the two year anniversary and he looked to Blaine suddenly, realising tears had been silently pouring down his face. He touched Blaine's knee, letting him know he was there but would remain silent and Blaine jumped slightly at the contact but just placed his hand over the top of Kurt's cold fingers.

It took quite a while for Blaine to speak, his breathing slowly normalising as they both continued to stare at the graves in silence.

"I can't believe two years have passed," Blaine whispered, "Not that I think I'll ever get over it but it doesn't even seem easier to deal with. I mean I relive that moment every day sometimes in my nightmares and it's still fresh, still there if I just close my eyes and it's not even dull now." Kurt glanced at Blaine's eyes, hollow and sunken as though he had had no sleep. Kurt suddenly wondered if he ever slept.

"I was in the car when it happened," he said quietly and Kurt gasped slightly. He hadn't known that and he instinctively squeezed Blaine's hand as it rested on his thigh. The thought that he had seen their last moments made Kurt's chest constrict in pain.

"We were driving in the rain back from a musical in town. We lived in New York then," Blaine said as way of explanation, glancing at Kurt. "Cooper was visiting from LA and we were laughing and joking about the show, quoting our favourite lines, looking at the programme. My mum struggled to control the car, she was laughing so hard at Cooper's impressions of the actors." Kurt remained silent, only pressing on Blaine's hand to reassure him he was listening and right there with him.

"I made a flippant comment that I wish, god I wish more than anything that I could take back," Blaine continued, clearly struggling to speak against the fresh tears threatening to trickle down his cheeks. "I wasn't out then, I mean I knew I had feelings for guys, knew that I found them attractive but I hadn't said anything to anyone. I felt so easy about it I guess I just made the comment not realising it would be so surprising. I said I found one of the main actors dreamy and my mum glanced back at me, her eyes wide at the admission and as she turned around to face the road again she swerved to miss oncoming traffic and crashed the car." Blaine couldn't speak, taking heaving breaths he seemed to be really struggling and Kurt could only take him in his arms and hold him close, rubbing his back. Kurt had never heard anyone cry so brokenly or hurt with every fibre of their being as Blaine who sobbed for quite a while. Kurt desperately tried to calm him by whispering in his ear and rubbing his back and after a while, although sobs could still be heard, Blaine seemed to breathe more normally. He slowly parted from Kurt, his eyes red and tear tracks visible on his cheeks. Kurt tentatively lifted his finger to wipe the tears away, his heart breaking at the gut wrenching sight.

"Cooper wasn't wearing a seatbelt and he crashed into my mum's seat," he whispered, though his breath came out as a trembling huff. "My mum died instantly but Cooper later died in hospital, never waking up from his head injuries."

"I'm so sorry Blaine," Kurt whispered after a while, slipping his arm in Blaine's and resting his head near his shoulder. He could say no words of comfort, knowing that nothing would make it better but now he understood and they sat there, on the bench in the cold sunshine, as the hours passed until closing time. No words were spoken but Blaine was so grateful that Kurt remained and hoped he would always have him in his life.

* * *

Blaine agreed to being led to a coffee shop afterwards, Kurt taking his hand gently as they walked. Thousands of thoughts and worries flitted through Kurt's mind as they walked, Blaine only feeling a little lighter at having spoken to someone but left feeling a little empty. Kurt soon realised the guilt that Blaine had been living with and why he blamed himself. He searched for something to say, something to remove the feeling but he realised he knew so little of his family that he wasn't sure if Blaine could ever be satisfied or able to forgive himself.

They sat in their usual seats, sipping their usual coffees when Blaine suddenly spoke again.

"Thank you for coming with me today Kurt," he said, his green brown eyes shining with some kind of need and Kurt wanted to give him everything and anything he could.

"I will always be there for you Blaine," Kurt said simply, "I am so sorry all of that happened to you. I can't begin to imagine what that must have been like to live through. How did your dad react to it all?"

"I know he struggles," Blaine said, looking at the top of his coffee. "I haven't been able to tell him the exact truth, he just knows that I distracted mum with a comment and that she died instantly."

"You need to forgive yourself Blaine," Kurt said earnestly grabbing Blaine's hand as it held his mug of coffee. "I didn't know your mum but I'm pretty sure with the memories that you have shared that she wouldn't want you to live like this."

Blaine looked completely lost as he sat opposite Kurt on the sofa seat, his big brown green eyes wide, as he tried to take in what Kurt was saying to him.

"She was lovely," he said, "I sometimes wonder how she would have reacted to me coming out if I had done it properly, told her sensibly like my dad but I know she would have been ok with it all. I always felt completely loved by her, always loved watching movies with her at home. She made the nicest cakes and I just miss her so much," he said, his voice threatening to disappear. "That's the worst feeling," he continued, "She was so beautiful, so lovely and I killed that, I stopped that wonderful life continuing."

"But don't you think that's the reason to continue living your life, exactly because she _doesn't_ have the chance. You need to take all the opportunities, live all the experiences that she doesn't get a chance to experience now." Blaine considered Kurt's words.

"It was an accident Blaine, you can't blame yourself for an accident. You didn't kill her."

Blaine looked at him, Kurt's sincere kind eyes, his small hopeful smile and felt his chest struggle again with the simple task of breathing. Kurt looked so beautiful and the knowledge that he forgave Blaine, that he was letting him know he still cared, was just beyond his comprehension.

"I don't deserve you as a friend," Blaine whispered, returning his gaze to his coffee, seeking reassurance in the brown swirling liquid. Kurt grabbed his hand and placed it between them on the table, forcing Blaine to look at him properly.

"Yes you do Blaine," he said loudly and confidently, "I will always be your friend Blaine because you're someone special. I know your mum must have known that and your dad knows that too, you just need to let him in a little."

"I'll try, I just can't get over how it's just me and him now. There was once so much life in the house, now there's none. I know that's why he keeps moving, he's always felt it, nowhere is home."

"But there must be a reason why he returned to New York," Kurt said.

"I don't know, maybe all paths lead us here. I certainly feel like that about the bridge and the water."

Kurt looked worried about the mention of the bridge.

"You need to find a new place," Kurt said and soon as the idea popped in his mind, he seemed to have an eureka moment and his eyes sparkled and his smile was wide.

"I have the perfect place," he said standing up and grabbing his hand as Blaine looked startled. They walked to the nearest subway station and got a train to the 4th Avenue station, Blaine looking confused during the journey. He kept glancing at en excited Kurt who was impatiently tapping his fingers against the pole he was holding on to. Blaine suddenly placed his hands over those fingers and Kurt's eyes quickly went to Blaine.

"What…"

"Wherever we're going," Blaine said quietly, "Wherever you're taking me, don't worry." Blaine smiled and Kurt laughed, completely stilling his fingers, as Blaine rubbed them gently.

They finally arrived at a shop tucked in between other shops on 5th Avenue in Park Slope, Brooklyn, again with its white writing in front of a black outline. Blaine thought it was a bit strange that Kurt's special place was a shop until he saw the name.

BROOKLYN SUPERHERO SUPPLY

Blaine looked at Kurt raising an eyebrow and Kurt chuckled.

"Come on," he said, taking Blaine's hand again, "This is the perfect place for you."

Blaine found himself looking all around as they entered, a man behind the desk at the front smiled in greeting, sensing that this was Blaine's first time in this wonderful place. Kurt led him around, still holding his hand as they perused the paint shelves. These were no ordinary paint shelves. The simple paint pots were labelled with words like 'muscle', 'intelligence', 'x ray vision' and 'speed of light' – all the paint that any superhero would ever need. As Blaine realised the place Kurt had brought him to, he started to laugh.

"This is an awesome place," he said, still laughing, "How do you know about this?"

"I was wandering around when I first moved here and felt a bit lonely. I missed my dad like crazy and this was the perfect distraction." There was loads to see as Blaine and Kurt wandered around. They tried on superhero capes and Kurt walked into the Devillainizer which asked him questions to determine the type of villain Kurt was and help solve his problem. Blaine had forgotten what it felt like to laugh so much as he took pictures of Kurt with a red cape posing as if to fly away. There were evil blob containment capsules, slow burning fuses and time utility watches. Signs all over the shop warned about robots and that the rooftop pad was out of use. Blaine and Kurt tried on what they could, took loads of pictures and generally laughed until Kurt decided he was going to purchase something. Without showing the label to Blaine, he approached the counter with a pot of paint and he was asked to recite the vow of heroism:

"I, Kurt Hummel, also known as Saki, promise to always use my superpowers for good. I promise that I will use the items I've purchased here today safely and in the name of justice. I promise to remain ever vigilant, ever true." Blaine was impressed as he reeled this off, clearly not a novice and Blaine smiled once more.

"Where are we off to now Saki?" Blaine asked, laughing at the name.

"It's no laughing matter Blaine," Kurt said smiling, "My name comes from the tip of a Sai sword and is obviously the best part. What would your superhero name be?"

"Well my friend Robyn calls me her Batman," he said bashfully. Kurt laughed.

"Batman it is then," he said still smiling, "And we haven't finished yet." Kurt continued to lead Blaine to another part of the shop. They approached an ordinary bookshelf, which Kurt suddenly moved to reveal a doorway.

"You always manage to find New York's best hideaways and trick doors," Blaine said laughing as they entered.

"I told you, you'll never want to stop being my friend," Kurt said and he winked before he entered, causing crazy butterflies to suddenly appear in Blaine's stomach. He shook his head out of his daze and followed Kurt into the newly revealed room.

The room was beyond all of Blaine's expectations. The rest of the shop had looked just like a hardware store, with its metal shelves and paint pots but this room was spacious and tastefully decorated. There were dark mahogany bookshelves lining the sides of the room, with long wooden tables in the middle of the room. One guy was in the room on his laptop and he nodded his head in greeting as Kurt and Blaine entered. There were clocks on the wall and a light hanging low from the ceiling, giving such a sense of closeness and security that Blaine instantly felt like he belonged here.

"What is this place?" Blaine whispered, feeling as if he was in a library.

"This is the real reason this place exists," Kurt said indicating the superhero shop. "This is the secret writing lab. Kids between 6-18 come in here to write. They offer free after-school drop-ins one-to-one and fun workshops. You can write anything here but you can also draw. There's a great kid that comes here and he can draw fantastic Manga. I led a workshop here last week on the use of Sai swords – it was fun."

"That's amazing Kurt," Blaine said, suddenly really proud that Kurt did all this. He was always aware that Kurt gave back, did what he could for others. "You do all this…"

"It's just so much fun Blaine," Kurt said, realising that was reward enough. "Some kids just need an escape, others need a place to belong, a place where they can geek out and no one will judge them. I was really glad I had a place like that at high school, everyone should have that."

"Hi Steve," Kurt said as he approached the only guy here, the guy on his laptop. "This is Blaine, he might come along with me during the week."

"Great," Steve said eagerly shaking Blaine's hand. "We could always use the extra help and it's fun to write while you're supervising the kids too." He laughed showing all his teeth and Blaine suddenly felt ridiculously happy that a place like this existed. There was no death and sadness here, only fun and he couldn't wait to join. After chatting for a while with Steve, Kurt led them out of the writing lab, promising they would return in a few days and they walked out of the shop.

Kurt was just about to walk away when Blaine took his hand to stop him. Kurt looked back and smiled, Blaine pulling him slightly closer and their hands remained touching.

"Thank you Kurt," he said sincerely, his eyes twinkling.

"No need for thanks," he said, "This place is perfect for you and I love it here. Oh I almost forgot," he said unwrapping the paint pot he had purchased earlier. "This is for you."

Blaine took the package and read the label: COURAGE. He blinked up at Kurt who was looking at him kindly.

"That's all you need," Kurt said smiling and they were so close that Blaine suddenly noticed his perfect blue grey eyes in the late afternoon sun. "That and a very good friend."

"I think I've got the best friend anyone could ever ask for," Blaine said, looking up slightly. Kurt's breath hitched at the sight of Blaine, his eyes aglow and his face at peace for the first time since Kurt had met him. Blaine noticed Kurt swallowing before he spoke.

"That makes the two of us," and Kurt realised his hand was still in Blaine's and he stroked his thumb along his knuckle. Just a flicker of the eyes, a glance to his lips then Blaine stood back.

"Suppose I better get back to my dad," Blaine said looking at the ground.

Kurt nodded and took Blaine's hand as he led them to the subway station, Blaine still holding his pot of courage.

* * *

**A/N**: This place is real - I want to visit so badly! All the details are taken from photos and the internet (untappedcities dot com being the best site). Hope you enjoyed this chapter – let me know what you think.


	7. Chapter 7

As Blaine left glee club, his phone buzzed in his pocket and seeing the message, he smiled.

"Who's the message from?" said Robyn, who seemed to be constantly by his side, her face lit up at seeing Blaine's happy expression.

"My friend Kurt," and just saying that made Blaine feel good about himself again even just slightly. That a friend like Kurt had stuck around after all that he had said the day before, had shown he cared and had helped him more than ever – Blaine couldn't hide the crazy feeling of happiness any longer.

"I rang him on the Trevor Project hotline a few weeks ago and we've been friends ever since."

Saying it out loud to someone suddenly made it seem silly and fake and his smile fell slightly. Robyn didn't seem fazed by it at all.

"That's great that he does that, some people have no one to talk to and really need help." Realisation dawned across her features. Blaine had called the hotline.

"Why did you call the hotline?" Robyn looked a little shocked, although she tried to look detached and carefree.

"I was having some trouble I guess," Blaine muttered as they continued to walk out of school.

Robyn didn't say anything but came closer to Blaine and rubbed his arm gently. They were by Blaine's car when she spoke again and it had slightly unnerved Blaine, noticing she very rarely allowed silence to occur.

"Batman, never struggle alone," she said, looking directly into his wide hazel eyes, her own showing such sincerity that Blaine swallowed and smiled slightly. "If you ever need a friend I am always here. I know I might talk a lot but I know what it is to feel like no one listens. No one should sink without someone there to give them a rope to catch." Without a moment's hesitation she hugged Blaine close, who after the initial shock of the contact, soon relaxed into the touch and smiled.

* * *

To: Blaine [4.09pm]

**What are you doing tonight? :)**

Kurt had been sending him messages all day, just little bits about his day or questions asking how he was and although Blaine loved that Kurt cared that much, he also wanted to feel normal. Their friendship hadn't started in the most conventional of ways and Blaine didn't want to continue being a nuisance but Kurt sending this message made it seem like he enjoyed his company too.

To: Kurt [4.24pm]

**Nothing Saki, why?!**

To: Blaine [4.25pm]

**I didn't tell you that name for you to mock me with it! Students from NYADA always put on performances every Tuesday in the atrium. I wondered if you wanted to come? I might sing ;)**

To: Kurt [4.30pm]

**Of course I want to come! I've been waiting for an opportunity to hear you for so long… **

To: Blaine [4.32pm]

**Great! Then your wish will be granted! Do you know where NYADA is?**

To: Kurt [4.33pm]

**Yeah I walk past it sometimes. Meet me outside?**

To: Blaine [4.34pm]

**Sounds like a plan Batman ;) 8pm ok?**

To: Kurt [4.35pm]

**Definitely, see you then :)**

To: Blaine [4.36pm]

**I'm really looking forward to it x**

A kiss?! Blaine had tried to keep it casual, not pushing the boundaries, not quite sure if they were close friends despite Kurt's assurances. He reread the message several times and decided that Kurt was just happy and that Blaine shouldn't read too much into it. They weren't conventional friends, Blaine still under the impression that Kurt was being his friend out of guilt or pity and Kurt was no ordinary person.

Kurt arrived early so he was waiting when Blaine arrived. The building was triangular from this direction and completely glass, making it appear as if it was a greenhouse and everyone was on show. Despite the hour and the darkness outside, NYADA appeared to shine and twinkle, its lights illuminating the dreary gloom. The doors were glass too and had the prestigious name of NYADA across the front as you entered. There were students gathered around the piano and other instruments, preparing for their performances and Kurt found them seats so he could go to chat to them too.

"I'll be right back, I just want to check my song is still ok," Kurt said as he seated Blaine near the back and saved himself a place. Blaine watched Kurt approach the small group of performers and one or two accepted Kurt as one of them, eager to improve and show their talent and skill. Still others seemed lost in their own world and Kurt was clearly different. In tight trousers and a jacket with a fierce broach, Kurt stood out and Blaine could watch and admire his confidence. He stood tall and proud but Blaine could tell he was hiding a bundle of nerves and silent fears.

Kurt soon returned to sit next to Blaine and smiled nervously.

"I'm not on for a while so we've got some time to enjoy the performances," he said smiling.

There were singers, dancers, operatically trained singers and people that were clearly born to perform. Blaine started to think of the audition process to get here, how tough it must be and decided he really didn't have what it took to make it here. He loved singing, really felt like he came alive when he sang but hearing these students and knowing they had probably struggled and fought for a place, he just didn't think he had the gumption and courage that they must possess.

He suddenly thought to his own tin of paint that Kurt had bought which now resided on his dresser in his bedroom and smiled. If only it could really work.

Soon it was Kurt's chance to sing and he stood slightly nervously but only showed his confidence as he approached the make-shift stage.

"Hi everyone," Kurt said into the microphone, "I would like to dedicate my performance tonight to my good friend Blaine who's watching us tonight." Blaine looked shocked at the mention as people turned to find out who he was. His cheeks turned a shade of pink but at hearing Kurt refer to him as a 'good' friend his heart raced.

The piano started playing and Kurt stood, keeping his hands by his side and smiling slightly at Blaine.

_You've got the words to change a nation_

_But you're biting your tongue._

_You've spent a lifetime stuck in silence _

_Afraid you'll say something wrong.  
If no one ever hears it, _

_How we gonna learn your song?  
So come on come on, come on come on._

Kurt's voice was so beautiful, Blaine couldn't believe he was there listening to it. The glaring light, reflecting from the glass and bouncing back towards Kurt, made him look like he was on fire and Blaine's breath hitched slightly as he watched at the magnificence.

You've got a heart as loud as lions

_So why let your voice be tamed?  
Maybe we're a little different, _

_There's no need to be ashamed._

_You've got the light to fight the shadows _

_So stop hiding it away come on, come on_

_I wanna sing, I wanna shout._  
_I wanna scream till the words dry out_  
_So put it in all of the papers, I'm not afraid._  
_They can read all about it, read all about it_

This was for him, directly for him and Blaine was a little shocked by the message of the song. He had thought maybe Kurt was referencing him because he had brought him here but he really wanted him to listen._  
_

_At night we're waking up the neighbours_

_While we sing away the blues._

_Making sure that we're remembered yeah_

_Cause we all matter too  
If the truth has been forbidden,  
Then we're breaking all the rules  
so come on, come on, come on, come on_

_Let's get the TV and the radio to play our tune again,  
It's 'bout time we got some airplay of our version of events  
There's no need to be afraid,  
I will sing with you my friend  
Come on, come on_

Kurt looked directly at Blaine now, no hiding who he was singing too and he seemed to glow and catch alight, singing for all he was worth. He really wanted Blaine to listen and Blaine could feel tears start in his eyes at Kurt's sincerity and beauty. God he wanted Kurt to take him in his arms and never let go.

_I wanna sing I wanna shout.  
I wanna scream till the words dry out  
So put it in all of the papers, I'm not afraid.  
They can read all about it, read all about it_

_Yeah we're all wonderful, wonderful people  
So when did we all get so fearful?  
Now we're finally finding our voices  
So take a chance come help me sing this_

_I wanna sing I wanna shout  
I wanna scream till the words dry out  
So put it in all of the papers, I'm not afraid.  
They can read all about it, read all about it_

He seemed to fade out and Kurt suddenly looked uneasy, as if he wasn't sure how Blaine would react. Everyone applauded, clearly the best performance of the night, the other performers looking slightly perturbed that Kurt had bested them. Blaine clapped softly but it was clear to Kurt that he had made an impact, a lone tear sliding down his cheek.

* * *

Kurt had asked Blaine if he fancied a coffee afterwards so they found themselves walking to a little place that Kurt knew after he had said goodbye to some of his friends. Blaine was strangely quiet on the walk there and Kurt had started to feel slightly nervous of his reaction. He nodded at the coffee shop as they approached and Blaine crossed the street, following Kurt carefully. Blaine ordered their drinks confidently and by heart, causing Kurt to look up at him in surprise.

"You know my coffee order?"

"Of course," Blaine said, "Unless you wanted something different?" he said suddenly worried that he had presumed too much.

"Oh no, that's my favourite," Kurt said smiling and leading them to a corner table. "Ok, you're killing me here Blaine," he said grimacing, "How did you think my performance went? Did you like it or was it too much?"

"Are you kidding me Kurt?" Blaine said incredulous, "I loved it. I just needed a moment to digest it all I guess," he said looking down at his coffee. "You sang that for me, I just… no one has ever done that."

"Blaine, you are my friend, right?" Kurt asked in total sincerity, even gently touching Blaine's hand as it rested around his mug. Blaine looked up at him, his eyes shining and smiled.

"Of course Kurt, I just… I mean we didn't start in the usual way and I don't want you to feel sorry for me or feel obligated to befriend me. You've done what you're asked to do for the Trevor Project, in fact I think you've gone above and beyond and…"

"Blaine," Kurt said, squeezing the hand he touched with his fingers, "I am your _friend_. Whether we met online or over a telephone or at school, you are still a friend and I don't work for the Trevor Project when I meet or call you now. I'm just simply your friend and I think you're awesome." He beamed and hoped that Blaine finally understood.

"I'm not awesome Kurt," he whispered, "You on the other hand are beautiful," he said, smiling, then his face well as he realised what he had said. "I mean you sing beautifully – tonight, you sang beautifully, I mean… Oh god…" He held his head in his hands, sighing miserably, his coffee placed on the table.

"You think I'm beautiful?" Kurt asked quietly and Blaine decided that now was the time. He could never deny it and although it was embarrassing to admit, he couldn't bear the quiet insecurity in Kurt's voice.

"Yes," Blaine said simply, his eyes open and honest and Kurt blinked.

"No one's ever called me that," Kurt said quietly, looking mildly surprised then he looked up at Blaine and he smiled widely, causing crinkles around his eyes.

"I wish you could see your own beauty Blaine," Kurt said, "I really want to get to know you better, the real you. How about we go ice skating?"

"I haven't been in years," Blaine started and Kurt quickly hushed him.

"Don't be silly, neither have I but it will be fun and we can fall together and laugh. Maybe we can sing together?" Kurt asked shyly, already desperate to hear what Blaine sounded like.

"I don't know, maybe."

"Well think about the singing but you have to come skating," Kurt said.

"Ok," Blaine said, thinking that Robyn and Kurt had many things in common, namely a desire to force Blaine to live and embarrass himself many times.

* * *

Blaine went home that night to a dark apartment, his father already in bed it seemed. He turned the hall light on to place his jacket on the peg and take off his shoes, not wanting to wake his dad so he padded softly to the kitchen to make a hot drink before he tried to sleep. Turning the light on in the kitchen he jumped out of his skin when his dad seemed to materialise out of the darkness, sitting at the kitchen table.

"Dad, you nearly scared me half to death," he yelped, clutching his chest in panic, "What are you doing in the dark?" He looked at the big book he had open on the kitchen table and knew it was the photo album of their life together. Blaine as a child with Cooper and his parents, the photos reflecting the change of time and mood of the household. There were pictures of holidays taken together, sun, sea and happiness; photos of family birthdays and occasions. Blaine noticed that his dad's face had changed so much over the years without him noticing, so consumed with his own guilt and overwhelming sadness, here was proof that his father was unrecognisable now. Blaine looked at his dad, who had remained silent despite the near scream from the doorway and Blaine could see the tear tracks down his face, his face still.

"Dad," he said, gently tapping his shoulder to alert him of his presence, "Are you ok?"

He looked up as if he had only just noticed Blaine was in the room.

"She really was amazing," he said simply, "She always knew what to do, always knew how to speak to you and I know nothing."

"Speak to me?" Blaine asked, wondering what brought this on, "You can always speak to me dad."

"But what can I say?" he said, sounding helpless, "Nothing brings her back and I know we want that most of all."

Blaine did want that most of all but seeing his dad here and now he realised he could save this and do something.

"I do want her back and I know I did the most dreadful thing in causing her death, I can't ever forgive myself for that dad, god…" His voice stopped, his chest allowing a sob to escape and his hands shook as he tried to cover his face. Will just watched his son struggle for a while, not quite knowing how to handle this but wanting to help, to say something.

"She loved you so much Blaine, she wouldn't want you to blame yourself." He took his wrist gently, taking his hand away from covering his face and looked in his eyes.

"But she didn't know dad," he said, "She didn't know I was gay, she was surprised - that's what caused her to swerve the car and…." His breath hitched again, choking sounds escaping his mouth and threatening to overwhelm him.

"No, she knew Blaine," he said softly, "She knew because we discussed it."

"What do you mean?" Blaine asked quietly, his eyes wide.

"Cooper said something to us on one of his visits, made a flippant comment about your love of bowties and tight jeans and we knew. You'd never mentioned girls yet you said something about a boy's eyes at school. You were never worried with us, never conscious of hiding and I loved that about you Blaine. I remember your mum saying that she knew you'd grow up to be a great man: perfectly polite, charming and intelligent were her exact words. And although she knew she was biased she said you were pretty handsome too," he said smiling. Blaine felt tears prick at his eyes but hearing his dad say these words did something to his chest and he suddenly felt lighter.

"She knew and still loved me?" he said, his voice just a whisper, no strength behind his words.

"Yes Blaine," Will said confidently, "She loved you very much."

Blaine took a while to digest the idea that his mum knew all along and still loved him. He looked at his father, the man he had become and he knew he struggled just as much and Blaine had been ignoring someone else's pain in favour of feeling his own.

"Dad," he said after a while, "I've been wandering to the bridge at night sometimes," he said, not able to look at his father, "I've not always wanted to return home."

"I'm just glad you did," he said simply, clearly understanding his meaning and Blaine looked up in surprise. "I can't lose you too Blaine," he said, tears starting in his eyes at the thought. "You're all I have, we can't waste the life we've been given and we certainly can't throw it away. Whatever you're thinking, whatever you feel, I know I've been there too. Maybe we should talk more often."

"Yeah," Blaine said smiling, "I'd like that dad."

"What made you stop? What made you turn away from the water?" Will asked after a while.

"I rang someone for help, they saved me. I've met him a few times actually, he's a really good friend."

"Well whoever he is, I'm really glad he brought you home to me Blaine. I'd like to meet him someday and personally thank him because I can already see he's made a huge difference."

"Yeah, he has," Blaine said before they spoke long into the night, discussing favourite photos as they lay on the kitchen table. Blaine felt a little lighter and knew a bridge had been crossed and a load dispersed.

* * *

**A/N**: The description of NYADA is based on the atrium of Juilliard School where students really do apparently perform for free every Tuesday night in New York.

**Song quoted**:

'Read All About It part III' by Emeli Sande


	8. Chapter 8

The conversation with his father seemed to open a floodgate of words between them and although Blaine didn't speak for too long, there was more dialogue, casual and important, than there had been for a long time.

Before Blaine would leave for school he started to describe what he had planned that day, what he expected Robyn to get up to and what he might do after school with Kurt. Over dinner he shared what he sang in glee club, what he had learnt at school, what assignments he was finding tough. Will listened and his eyes would glisten as his mouth twitched into a smile, so aware of the amazing leap Blaine had made in the last few days. He himself always found conversation difficult, always aware of his failings and already feeling that parenting was harder on his own. He knew his wife had been much better at discussing things with her sons, having a way of handling any situation calmly and with love but as he listened to Blaine, he realised he didn't need to be superdad, he could just listen, that was all Blaine wanted and needed.

Blaine explained he would grab a quick dinner after school at a burger joint before meeting Kurt at the ice skating rink and at the news Will raised a single eyebrow.

"Ice skating? You haven't done that in years."

"I know," Blaine said grimacing, "And I'm sure I'll make a complete idiot of myself but Kurt wants to so…"

"You like this guy don't you?" Will asked quietly but with a growing smile on his face.

Blaine looked at his dad with wide eyes and an open mouth. Had he been that obvious?

"What? I don't… I mean I - " Blaine started.

"Blaine," Will said, touching Blaine's hand as it trembled in front of his stomach, "Its fine. I never thought I'd have these conversations with you but I don't mind, I was just never good at this kind of stuff, your mother was…" he let his voice trail away, both of them knowing what was left unsaid. "But you do like spending time with this Kurt and your face lights up when you speak about him; I'd have to be a complete idiot not to realise." Will ended with a small laugh and Blaine relaxed.

"Yeah, I guess," Blaine said, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Is he gay too?"

"Yeah."

"Well then there's a chance that he likes spending time with you too?"

"I don't know dad," Blaine said, a slight blush on his cheeks, "I mean I rang him up on this hotline, a complete stranger. He probably thinks I'm some kind of basket-case and just pities me."

"Blaine, people don't stick around after they think they've helped unless they really want to and he seems like a nice guy. He's been going out of his way to see you, ice skating next? I think he's a genuine friend, don't worry about that."

"Thanks dad," Blaine said, suddenly feeling relieved. He knew his dad was a practical man who would never lie so to hear him say those things was a good sign. He suddenly wanted Kurt to meet his dad and wondered if he could broach the subject later at the rink.

"Well I better go, Kurt will be waiting," Blaine said as he grabbed a jacket.

"You look nice Blaine," Will said as he patted Blaine on the back awkwardly, "Have a really nice time."

"Thanks dad, I'll try."

* * *

Kurt was there already when Blaine arrived and had clearly been on the ice for a while as he swooped to the barrier as soon as he saw Blaine.

"Hey," Kurt said, looking rosy from the cold, "I was starting to think you wouldn't turn up."

"No I'd never let you down," Blaine said.

"Good, that's what I was hoping," Kurt said, beaming, "Come on, get your skates on."

Blaine was soon on the rink wobbling to the side to hold on and looking at Kurt in amazement.

"How do you look so confident when I feel like I could fall at any minute?" he asked laughing.

"Practice," Kurt said simply, "I got here half an hour early so I wouldn't embarrass myself on the ice," he said smirking.

"Hey that's not fair," Blaine said with mock indignation, "I won't be able to catch up."

"Well that's what I'm here for, to hold on to," and with that Kurt took both of Blaine's hands effectively removing them from the side of the rink and forcing Blaine to skate nearer the middle.

"I don't know Kurt, what if I fall?" Blaine said, looking at him carefully.

"I've got you," Kurt said, with such sincerity that Blaine suddenly knew he was talking about so much more.

They walked hand in hand slowly for quite a while so Blaine could get used to the ice and he found himself laughing and joking as he got more confident. He realised it didn't matter if he wobbled or his foot kept going when he wanted to stop – Kurt was there and he held fast, never threatening to let go. Blaine clung on tightly and smiled.

"I've requested a song," Kurt said after a while, "I hope you'll sing it with me?"

"How do you know I can sing?" Blaine asked quietly.

"I just know," Kurt said smugly, "My friend says she has this psychic Mexican third eye and I'm guessing I have it too." Blaine laughed. Kurt nodded his head to someone Blaine couldn't see and as the song faded a new one started that Blaine recognised.

"Hurts," Blaine said, "Not many people know them here."

"I love them," Kurt said as he prepared to start singing in the middle of the rink but Blaine squeezed his hand as it rested in his own, indicating he wanted to start. Blaine looked directly at Kurt and smiled, trying to impart something, letting him know that he knew what Kurt was doing.

_There's a storm on the streets, but you still don't run  
Watching and waiting for the rain to come._

Kurt continued the song then and smiled as they stayed connected in the middle of the rink, standing and holding hands.

_And these words wouldn't keep you dry  
Or wipe tears from an open sky,  
But I know, but I know, but I know I'm right._

But suddenly Kurt let go of Blaine's hands as he stood on his own and Kurt started circling him, still looking at him intently. Blaine could only follow him with his eyes and spin slightly on his skates.  
_  
And I won't let you drown, when the water's pulling you in  
I'll keep fighting, I'll keep fighting.  
The rain's going to follow you wherever you go.  
The clouds go black and the thunder rolls  
And I see lightning  
I see lightning_

_When the world surrounds you, I'll make it go away_  
_Paint the sky with silver lining._  
_I will try to save you, cover up the grey_  
_With silver lining._

Blaine started singing the next part with Kurt, Kurt suddenly conscious that it would sound accusatory on his own. Blaine looked down at his feet in case he fell but the words were a little close to his heart and he was worried he would break.

_Now there's no way back from the things you've done  
I know it's too late to stop the setting sun._

Kurt sang on his own as Blaine seemed to lose confidence and he came closer, tugging Blaine's arm slightly so he could smile in his direction. They started to skate together, still holding hands.

_You see the shadows in the distant light,  
And it's never going to be alright  
And you know, and you know, and you know I'm right.  
_

Blaine started to feel more confident and suddenly started singing on his own, determined to show Kurt he could climb and succeed on his own.

_And I won't get left behind, when the walls come tumbling in  
I'll keep climbing, I'll keep climbing  
The rain's going to follow you wherever you go.  
The clouds go black and the thunder rolls  
And I see lightning  
I see lightning  
_

Kurt continued the chorus squeezing Blaine's hand in his and smiling. His blue eyes swirled with something that Blaine didn't recognise and Kurt took Blaine with him as he skated faster, going in circles.

_When the world surrounds you, I'll make it go away  
Paint the sky with silver lining  
I will try to save you, cover up the grey  
With silver lining. _

Suddenly Kurt stopped but it was Blaine who finished the song with the last line, smiling as he could see it all reflected in Kurt's blue eyes – hope and clear light ahead.

_Deep blue sky, deep blue sky_

* * *

They sat drinking hot chocolate a little while later, feet sore and cheeks rosy with a comfortable silence surrounding them. Kurt smiled as soon as he realised Blaine was looking in his direction.

"You sing beautifully Blaine," Kurt said simply, "You should definitely pursue a music career, I think NYADA would have you in a heartbeat."

"Really?" Blaine said.

"Definitely, they'd be foolish not to. I can help with your application if you like; you'll need to consider your options in the next few weeks."

"Yeah thanks Kurt, I'd really appreciate it," Blaine suddenly looked at the top of his drink, his whipped cream having deflated and sunk slightly.

"What's wrong? You did want to apply to NYADA didn't you?"

"Oh yeah, I just never thought I was good enough and I also never really considered my future. I know that sounds stupid…" Blaine said his voice trailing away.

"No it doesn't, I just hate that you felt like that or even that you do feel like that."

"I don't feel like that so often now," Blaine whispered.

"When do you feel like that?" Kurt asked and Blaine stared out the window as if to find answers.

"Sometimes when I think of my mum or Cooper, I think of what they would say in certain situations, what they would do if they were still alive and I wish they were still here. I guess I think that if I wasn't here then they would be here, like I could trade places."

"It doesn't work like that," Kurt said kindly, "No one knows why things like that happen but if your mum was here, she'd want you to live your life."

"I know, I sometimes imagine her telling me off when I'm hesitant but I look at the water below me on the bridge and then I imagine just washing it all away. It's even in my dreams."

"You have nightmares?"

"Yeah," Blaine mumbled, "Not so much of the accident, though I do wake up sometimes in a cold sweat after reliving it in my sleep. The worst nightmare is when I walk in the dark and the only thing I can see or hear are people whispering, scowling, hating my presence as if I offend them simply by being alive."

"But your mum and Cooper would never want you to feel like that Blaine, it was an accident."

"I know but my subconscious clearly doesn't," Blaine said ruefully.

"What were they like, your mum and Cooper?"

Blaine thought for a while and then nodded, which caused a confused expression to cross Kurt's face.

"I'd rather show you if you don't mind." Blaine stood to leave, putting on his jacket and Kurt looked up in surprise.

"We're going somewhere?"

"How do you feel about meeting my dad?" Blaine asked, suddenly nervous, "I think he'd want to meet you and I can show you all about my mum at my apartment."

Kurt smiled the biggest smile. "I'd love that Blaine but only if you're sure."

"Yeah, I'm sure," Blaine said smiling and stretching his hand out for Kurt to hold so he could get up from the seat. "There's no one else I would share this with."

* * *

"What's your dad like?" Kurt asked as they walked home.

"He's been really good actually about everything," Blaine said, "We had quite a chat the other day. I told him what had happened in the car, I've told him I'm gay. I know he struggles with all of this, my mum found it so much easier, but I think he does really well. He's like me a lot I guess."

"He sounds like my dad actually," Kurt began, "I thought he'd really struggle with having a gay son and at high school I was so worried what people would say to him, I deliberately pretended to be straight and ruined a competition song with Rachel." He laughed. "I mean in the end it seemed silly to pretend to be something I'm not when I knew my dad loved me just the way I am."

"I think everyone needs that someone in their life that accepts them no matter what. I never really thought that would be my dad. I guess when my mum was alive he let my mum do all the heavy talking but he's really been there for me."

"My dad's the same," Kurt said, "He always says that my mum was better, more admirable and caring but he always lets me know that I'm special and loved. I don't know how I would have got through half the things I've gone through without him really." Kurt suddenly found tears start in his eyes at the thought that his dad might be really ill in the future and he looked down, swallowing the fear that threatened to rise in his throat.

"Kurt?"

"I just really worry about him with this cancer," Kurt whispered, "I don't know what I'd do without him."

"Its local stage though right? They caught it early?"

"Yeah."

"Good," Blaine said taking Kurt's hand and stroking his thumb along the knuckle. They walked in comfortable silence until they reached Blaine's apartment, only parting hands when Blaine had to open the door with his key.

"Dad?" Blaine said as he entered, the television making noise from the living room but no answer heard. Kurt took off his shoes and crept behind Blaine who was walking towards the room.

The sight that they were greeted with could only be described as adorable. Obviously completely worn out from a day of teaching, Will was sprawled on the sofa amidst papers he had to mark, though some had made their way to the floor. His hair looked as if he had run his hand through it a few times and he looked cold, so Blaine draped the blanket over him to keep him warm.

"Let's go to my bedroom," Blaine whispered and Kurt smiled.

"He looks so tired," Kurt said in the safety of Blaine's bedroom.

"Yeah he works pretty hard for those kids he teaches."

"Wow your room is nice Blaine," Kurt said, suddenly looking around. He noticed the nearly blank corkboard and the extensive music collection but his bed looked cosy and the dark panelling of the furniture seemed to reflect Blaine's quiet character.

"I wish I had more to fill it with but I like it here, I don't feel on edge anymore when I try to sleep."

"You've got loads of great CDs Blaine," Kurt said perusing his CD racks, "Ooh I love this one." Kurt kept exclaiming every time he came across another CD he liked or owned and Blaine laughed. He picked up the photo album that his dad had been looking at recently and placed it gingerly on his bed. It was rather large and Kurt noticed and came to sit on the bed too, near Blaine. Blaine opened it without speaking and showed Kurt the photos.

There were so many happy photos of them all as a family – holidays at seaside resorts, visiting famous landmarks and important occasions like Cooper's graduation, that Kurt enjoyed the little glimpse into Blaine's life as part of a family. Kurt realised then that not only had Blaine lost his mother, he had lost his brother and the complete feel of a family. Kurt often felt it was him and his own father against the world and losing his mother at such a young age had made it so much more important for them to come together as a father-son unit. He suddenly realised that Blaine must have felt the gaping holes in his family life and noticed the abrupt change. He must have felt so alone and Kurt felt a fresh wave of sympathy towards the boy next to him on the bed. He placed his own warm fingers over Blaine's that rested on the bed and Blaine continued to share his photos and started to explain the stories behind them. An hour passed in such conversation before Kurt realised he should be heading back to his own apartment and he could hear Blaine's father stir in the living room.

"Blaine?" Will said just now outside the room.

"Yeah I'm here dad," Blaine said opening wide his bedroom door. "I brought Kurt back to meet you and see some photos."

"Oh hey," Will said, just noticing Kurt sitting on Blaine's bed with a nervous grin.

"Hi Mr Anderson," Kurt said, getting up and extending his hand to Will who remained by the door. "It's nice to meet you." Will looked surprised at the greeting and then smiled.

"Well it's really nice to meet you Kurt," Will said as his grin became bigger. "Gosh I feel like I owe you my son's life, I - " Will continued to grip Kurt's hand and he started shaking it with both hands.

"Oh I didn't do anything really," Kurt said embarrassed.

"No you really did," Will said confidently and Blaine smiled, though his face tinged pink. "I don't think anyone should underestimate what simple listening can do for a person who struggles. I think you did the most important thing a friend could do."

"Well I'm really glad I met Blaine through it all," Kurt said.

"Will you stay for a drink?" Will asked as he started to walk to the kitchen.

"Oh I'd love to but I'd better be getting back."

"Oh I can drop you off afterwards, just a quick drink," Will said, eager to have someone else to fuss over, someone to care for too. Kurt nodded happily in agreement.

They spoke about school and Will's job and how school work was starting to build up a little as exams got closer. As Will spoke, Blaine realised it had been quite a while since his father had had someone else to talk to apart from Blaine and work colleagues and he had never seen his father so at ease. He realised that ever since their own conversation a few days ago, Will had seemed as if a load had been lifted, a cloud parting so that a semblance of a life could be lived again and Blaine smiled at the thought.

They carried on talking long after their tea had been drunk and cookies shared and Kurt suddenly looked wistfully out at the window wondering where the time had gone. It had been quite a while since he had seen Burt, though they spoke on the phone constantly. NYADA and money had been the main reasons for preventing any visits and sitting in this warm kitchen with cookies and a family, he realised how much he missed his own and their comforting madness.

"Well I better be getting back…" Kurt said, getting up reluctantly.

"Oh right sorry," Will said, quickly washing the dishes, "Make sure you come for dinner soon, I promise I won't be asleep on the sofa next time!"

"Cool, I'd like that," Kurt said as he walked to Blaine's room to get his jacket. Blaine handed him his jacket quietly and Kurt instantly worried.

"What's wrong?"

"Oh nothing," Blaine said looking up, "Quite the opposite actually," he said smiling, "I'm really glad you came round Kurt, you made all the difference tonight and I'm just really grateful."

"Don't be silly Blaine, thank you for showing me all those photos and sharing those memories. I feel really privileged, I know how special she was now, I know how much she meant to you."

"Will you come round again? I know my dad would really like that."

"Yeah, I'd love to. It really feels like a home here Blaine, I think this year will do you good. I know it's hard to forge a relationship with someone that you don't think you have much in common with but actually the things you share with your dad are what will keep you together. He loves you Blaine, I know that."

"Yeah I'm really lucky, I'd have no one without him."

"You'd have me Blaine," Kurt said as an awkward pause developed and Blaine looked up to see a flash of something in Kurt's eyes. He could almost see the colour change and his chest swooped a little at the sight. Kurt's face continued to soften and his eyes swooped over Blaine's face to look at his beauty.

"I've never really noticed your eyes before," Kurt whispered as he continued to look, "They look like pools of chocolate in this light." Kurt nervously giggled at his sentence but Blaine's eyes only widened slightly.

"Will you be ok now?" Kurt said, as he shifted slightly, his eyes still locked on Blaine's.

"Yeah I think so," Blaine said quietly, "I'll try to sleep and probably end up reading a book." He walked away slightly to tidy his bed, though it appeared neat to Kurt who stood to one side.

"You won't sleep?"

"No I never do," Blaine said matter-of-factly, "I mean I get a few hours I guess, light sleep where I doze then wake. My body seems to be used to it now."

"That's terrible Blaine," Kurt said, worry lines creasing his forehead, "No one should have to put up with that. Maybe you should see someone, to prescribe some kind of sleeping pill or something."

"No I don't like that idea and it doesn't bother me, don't worry." Blaine continued to tidy his bedroom despite its immaculate condition.

"Blaine," Kurt said, coming closer and stilling Blaine's hands as they rested on an ornament, "Do you dream when you sleep?"

"Sometimes," Blaine whispered, avoiding Kurt's eyes as he looked to the carpeted floor.

"I was just thinking," Will suddenly interjected by the door, "It's getting a little late, do you fancy staying over Kurt, it might be easier? We have a blow-up bed and I can drop you off home on my way to work tomorrow."

Kurt looked at Blaine and smiled and although Blaine looked sheepish at the suggestion, he was secretly hoping that Kurt would stay.

"That'll be great Mr Anderson, thank you."

"Oh call me Will, I insist," he said as he got the blow-up bed from the airing cupboard.

They quietly got ready for bed, Blaine handing Kurt pyjamas for him to change into in the bathroom and explaining all the products that Kurt could borrow if he wanted to continue his moisturising routine. After a while goodnights were said to Will and the lights switched off and a comfortable silence filled the darkened room.

"Good night Blaine," Kurt whispered from his place on the floor, "I hope you sleep well."

It had been such a perfect night, the ice skating, the hot chocolate, the conversation with his father and Kurt and sharing memories and photos, that the simple endearing wish that he sleep well seemed to finally overwhelm Blaine and he felt a sob leave his throat. Kurt sat up immediately.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Blaine tried to say but his voice was broken and tears streamed down his face. Blaine could hear Kurt stumble and get up in the darkness and he was soon standing over Blaine as he lay on the bed.

"What's wrong Blaine?" Kurt whispered, gentle, kind and it almost made Blaine want to cry more at his beauty, at his care for others.

"You're just amazing and I'm really glad you're here." Blaine said, all worry that he might say something embarrassing disappearing as Kurt seemed to melt and soften even more.

"Oh Blaine," he said and he tentatively lifted the covers so he could lay next to him in the warm bed.

"Is this ok?" Kurt asked cautiously. Blaine nodded in the semi-darkness and Kurt crept closer, inching his hands around Blaine's waist in a hug.

"Tonight was perfect," Blaine whispered, seeing only Kurt's eyes blinking back at him and his slow smile creep along his face.

"I'm here now too Blaine," Kurt said, "I'll never leave, I'm with you."

And Blaine could only smile as he leant closer to feel Kurt's warm arms envelop him and keep him safe.

* * *

**Song quoted**:

'Silver Lining' by Hurts


	9. Chapter 9

It had become steadily colder as the night wore on, the snow that had threatened to fall all week deciding now was the time to land on the ground and settle amidst the peace and quiet inside this New York apartment. It was at least ten years since Blaine had been hugged asleep and he woke just before dawn to find himself still enveloped within Kurt's arms and resting his head in between Kurt's neck and shoulder. Kurt let out little puffs of air as he slept so his chest rose and fell gently and Blaine could hear his steady heart beat underneath his ear. Blaine lifted his head slowly so he wouldn't wake Kurt and as he placed his cheek on the pillow he could see Kurt fully. His cheeks looked sleep warm and with his mouth slightly open he looked so beautifully peaceful that Blaine knew he could watch him for hours. Blaine had slept so well last night he was almost a little surprised that he had woken so early. His body was so used to sleeping lightly and he had managed to cope with so little sleep over the last two years that he was amazed he had slept so deeply, completely unaware of any dreams or disturbances. He looked at the man lying next to him on the bed, his chestnut hair resting on the pillow, and knew that Kurt had caused it all, that just his peaceful presence had made a difference.

He had spent the last few weeks nervous, constantly doubting Kurt's genuine friendship. He worried that Kurt pitied him and might not be a true friend if his problems were removed but watching him now, his porcelain face so honest and true he knew that Kurt was there when he needed him and bolstered his confidence when he doubted. He made a conscious decision as he watched Kurt sleep that no matter what happened in life that he would always try to keep Kurt near and appreciate him for all that he did and all that he is.

Blaine returned to lying on his back so Kurt wouldn't catch him looking at him as he slept but he would occasionally stroke the hand that lay between them on the bed. It didn't take long for Kurt to wake up and Blaine watched as his blue eyes opened and his nose twitched.

"Good morning," Blaine said sweetly and to be greeted so nicely Kurt smiled.

"Good morning," Kurt said, "Have you been up for long?"

"Not for too long," Blaine said, turning fully on his side so he faced Kurt, "I slept beautifully." He beamed, his eyes twinkling and Kurt could do nothing but mirror his expression.

"No nightmares?" Kurt asked his eyes wide.

"Nope," Blaine said smiling, "You must be my lucky charm but I won't make you sleep with me every night if you sleep over again." Blaine laughed as he spoke and sat up and Kurt had a sudden urge to stop him and to keep him close. He touched his wrist lightly and Blaine turned.

"I slept really well too," Kurt whispered, his eyes betraying his fear, desperate to be understood and not rejected. "Stay."

Blaine's eyes widened at the admission but his face instantly softened as he noticed Kurt's thumb circling on the bone of his wrist as he looked down. He lowered his body to lie facing Kurt again and smiled.

"I like it here," Kurt said as his eyes flickered over Blaine's face then the room they were in. Kurt started to stroke along Blaine's arm without noticing what he was doing and Blaine found himself listening to Kurt quietly speak and feeling his eyes droop with tiredness again. Kurt was speaking so melodiously about the snow falling and his childhood memories of snowmen and snow angels that Blaine started smiling peacefully and hummed to show he was still listening.

"That feels really nice," Blaine said, as Kurt continued to stroke his arm, "My mum used to stroke my arm and then my hair when I couldn't sleep when I was little." Blaine's eyes remained closed so he couldn't see Kurt's smile and slight hesitation as his hand crept closer to his shoulder then his cheek then his hair. At the intimate touch Blaine's breath hitched but he smiled and leant in closer feeling more drowsy.

"I don't know why I'm so tired," he whispered, "I slept so well."

"Well maybe your body is catching up on all the hours you missed. It's still early, go back to sleep if you like," Kurt said.

"Mmm," Blaine said, melting into the touch, "Will you sing to me?" Kurt smiled.

"I will sing you morning lullabies," Kurt began, "You are beautiful and peaceful this way. I know you have to close your eyes on everyone. Let me help you, I'll sing you to sleep with morning lullabies." He continued until Blaine's face relaxed and his breathing became slower and Kurt smiled at Blaine's expression of utter peace and thought he had never seen anything so beautiful.

* * *

They woke two hours later when Kurt had to catch a lift with Mr Anderson and his alarm went off. Kurt had fallen back to sleep soon after Blaine, slowly finding his way back to his arms but he startled awake when the alarm binged to life.

"Oh sorry," Blaine mumbled when he realised that Kurt was tangled with his arms and had been trying to get up.

"It's ok," Kurt said laughing, "I just need to get up for classes." He started to get up then noticed the stream of white light coming from outside through the curtains. He opened them slightly and laughed again.

"I don't think classes will be on today," Kurt said, "The snow came down pretty fast and hard last night."

And to confirm the point Will knocked on the door and called in without opening.

"Boys I won't be going into work today, my school is closed. I'd check to see if your schools are shut too if I were you. I'll make coffee."

"Thanks dad," Blaine called out as they could hear him walking away and he sat up in bed, his hair messy and adorable. Kurt grinned.

"You look adorable," he said laughing and Blaine blushed. Kurt started to get his stuff to take to the bathroom but as he reached for the door Blaine stopped him.

"Thanks for last night Kurt," he whispered, "I don't normally sleep all over people but I think I really needed the sleep. I haven't slept like that in a really long time and…" He really didn't know how to express his gratitude; sleep was such a normal thing and it was expected that everyone slept well. Blaine didn't take it for granted.

"You're very welcome," Kurt said his smile sweet, "I haven't slept so peacefully for a very long time either. It was nice." Kurt suddenly blushed and started looking around for his clothes when he realised he would need to borrow a few things.

"Oh yeah sorry," Blaine said when he realised, "You can borrow some boxers and help yourself to anything in the bathroom," to which Kurt looked relieved.

As Kurt went into the bathroom to change, Blaine lay back on the bed and stared for a while at his white ceiling. He closed his eyes in a slight panic as he realised what had been painfully obvious all night. He had feelings for Kurt – beautiful Kurt who had helped him with so much, who had been there through the worst and knew so much. Kurt was meant to be a friend but thinking back to last night, to the light touches and hugs, Blaine realised he had it bad and he wanted so much more. He swallowed nervously then forced himself to get dressed so he could be presentable to Kurt when he came out of the bathroom. He wasn't sure if Kurt would ever feel that way about Blaine but he determined as he waited for Kurt to finish that he wouldn't make it awkward for him, wouldn't declare his feelings just yet.

* * *

It turned out Blaine's school was closed and NYADA was only open to teachers and students that could walk there, so Kurt wasn't required to go in. Kurt looked outside and started to prepare to try his luck on the subway when Will laughed.

"You won't get on a train today," he said, "Why don't you stay here with us and watch movies? I plan to catch up on school work so I can get a good night's sleep for once and not worry."

Kurt looked outside again and faced Blaine who was eager for him to stay, his eyes hopeful and wide.

"Ok if you don't mind?" he said and Blaine nodded happily. They ate breakfast and drank their coffee while Blaine and Kurt swapped stories of their childhoods in the snow. Blaine was slightly apprehensive to start with, eyeing his dad to catch his response but Will only smiled at the memories and joined in, describing times Blaine had forgotten.

"Right, I need to do some work today so I'll be in my study if you boys need me," Will said and while Kurt's back was turned he winked conspiratorially at Blaine who blushed slightly, feeling the pressure build slightly.

"Fancy a movie?" Kurt asked. Blaine nodded and went to his DVD collection but nothing jumped out at him as a movie he hadn't seen countless times. His eyes alighted on a box pushed to the back of his collection and his hand stilled.

"Blaine?" Kurt said as he noticed.

"My Disney collection," Blaine stated, his eyes never leaving the box, "I haven't seen any of them in quite a while." He could feel the lump rise in his throat and he swallowed against the sudden feeling of nausea. Kurt came to kneel beside him and rested his hand on his knee.

"We don't have to watch any now," Kurt said but Blaine nodded.

"I'd like to," he said turning to face Kurt with force bravery, "Would you mind?"

Kurt smiled slowly and nodded. "That would be nice." Blaine breathed out and opened the box staring at the sides displaying their names. He picked out 'The Little Mermaid' and got the blanket ready after placing it in the DVD player. Kurt settled near him and reached out to hold Blaine's hand as the credits started rolling. They watched in silence for a while Blaine closing his eyes as the seagulls and dolphins played on the screen just before the sea crew started singing the opening song. He could remember his excitement when he was little when the film started and his mum would bring out the popcorn she had made.

"We always watched this when I was ill and off from school," Blaine said after a while, "I remember going up to my mum, dad and Cooper when I was really little and saying I could sing like Ariel too. I sang the few notes she sang to Ursula and I was so proud of myself that I could sound just like her. She's beautiful."

"I always loved this film. I watched it with my mum too and I always thought she looked a little like her and she would joke that she had a secret mermaid tail when she went into water. I believed her for a while and whenever we went swimming I would check underwater to see if it was true," Kurt said laughing.

Blaine looked at him and knew, right then, that Kurt was perfect and if there was ever any way he could feel the same he would have to take that chance. But he looked at Kurt who smiled in return and suddenly felt the panic rise and he couldn't speak, couldn't say what he was dying to say so he turned to continue watching the film.

After a while they started singing quietly to the songs and came closer on the sofa, snuggled into each other's side, heads resting together. They didn't notice Will stand in the doorway to watch a few scenes of the film, or how he noticed their closeness. His eyes filled with tears at the memory of one day long ago when Blaine was ill and he had returned from work to find him snuggled against her side. She had smiled up at Will, knowing she couldn't move in case she disturbed a sleeping Blaine and he had joined them as the film finished and carried Blaine to bed a little later. He was glad that Blaine could finally enjoy these films again, knowing full well they hadn't been seen since his wife had died and he snuck out of the room, determined not to disturb the peace.

After it finished Kurt stretched and smiled, reaching for his phone.

"I guess I better tell Rachel that I'm staying here for the day, she'll worry otherwise."

Blaine made them a quick lunch while Kurt text and as Kurt finished he joined him in the kitchen.

"Rachel says she's stuck with Santana who is trying to convince her that her boyfriend Brody is a drug dealer," Kurt said laughing and upon seeing Blaine's eyes widen he waved slightly. "I'll fill you in another time, that's a very long story," he said laughing. "I suppose I better text Adam, I was supposed to meet him for a coffee today." Kurt was suddenly engrossed in his phone so he didn't notice Blaine's expression of hurt at the mention of another guy. Determined to sound casual as soon as he composed his face again he asked who Adam was.

"Oh he's a senior at NYADA," Kurt said still texting on his phone, "We've been on a couple of date, we're not exclusive." Kurt relayed the information like it was nothing but so engrossed in his phone he didn't see Blaine swallow repeatedly against the tide of emotion threatening to envelop him and ruin the perfect day. He looked up at Blaine's sudden silence and some emotion flickered across his face at seeing Blaine's expression. He smiled and Blaine realised and smiled without feeling in return. Of course Kurt wasn't single, Blaine reminded himself. Just one look at beautiful, composed, musically talented Kurt anyone could tell he would be dating and probably had many offers. Blaine who he believed was mentally challenged, nervous and anxious and with a past that haunted him, well he knew he didn't stand a chance. Blaine continued to make lunch and drinks as Kurt played with his phone, reprimanding himself for dreaming, for wishing. He wanted Kurt in his life, needed him near and he had quickly become his closest friend so he realised he would have to swallow his newly discovered feelings and carry on as if nothing had happened, nothing had changed. Kurt soon placed his phone down on the kitchen surface, Adam suddenly forgotten and he smiled warmly at Blaine.

"So what do you want to watch this afternoon?" Kurt asked smiling, "I've got the perfect idea if you have it." And he suddenly walked to the living room to check Blaine's collection. He seemed to find the one he wanted as he came into the kitchen again brandishing the DVD.

"Moulin Rouge," Kurt said waving it from side to side as he cocked his hip with mock swagger, "We love those dancing hoes." Blaine laughed and walked with Kurt to the living room carrying their drinks. If he couldn't have him in that way, Blaine could at least have movie time under a blanket with the greatest friend he had ever had.

* * *

**A/N**: Don't hate me!

The memory of Blaine singing Ariel's part when he was younger was actually my brother at five years old!

Can't believe I've nearly got 100 followers for this fic – thanks so much *day made*.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N**: This is for Sophia Michelle and just because I love including this song in my fics! Enjoy!

* * *

Feeling Kurt snuggled against his side during 'Moulin Rouge' had been a special kind of torture for Blaine as the film continued. Under the blanket Blaine rested his neck on the sofa behind him and Kurt had gradually sunk his head lower to rest on Blaine's shoulder, barely acknowledging anything had changed. Blaine spent most of the film thinking about how he had changed over the last few weeks; how even his toleration of affection seemed to have grown since meeting Kurt and he felt only comfort and security with Kurt nestled next to him. He never felt he was much to talk to and he barely allowed conversation to steer in his direction but suddenly with Kurt he was telling secrets and greatest fears. He loved listening to Kurt speak, his voice sounding magical from the moment he had heard him over the phone and hearing him sing had been a dream. As the days had continued Blaine had gotten used to spending so much time with Kurt, had already accepted that he was the best friend he would ever meet and had only just acknowledged his changing feelings so to hear the mention of someone else had crushed his fragile self-esteem. How could he compete against someone who was put together and stable, that loved to sing and act, that was attractive and loved everything Kurt loved too? All he had to offer was his DVD collection.

Kurt seemed oblivious to Blaine's growing fear and worry beside him but as the tragedy unfolded on the screen in front of them, Kurt seemed to move against Blaine as if to seek comfort too.

"Are you ok?" Blaine asked almost into Kurt's hair he was so close.

"Yeah, this bit's sad," Kurt said, "I hate knowing what's going to happen."

"'Come What May' will be on soon," Blaine said and Kurt turned to face Blaine from his lower position on the sofa, looking up at him with his eyes wide and so beautiful.

"I love that song," Kurt said simply, "I want to sing that at my wedding one day." At the mention of that hazy dream in the future Blaine could see Kurt, in a crisp black tux and bowtie and he squeezed him closer.

"That would be the perfect song to sing," Blaine whispered next to him and they watched as Satine and Christian struggled to fight disease and rising pressure from the others. Christian started to mention the song and Blaine knew he would start to sing with him, hoping Kurt would join in too.

"_Never knew I could feel like this, like I've never seen the sky before_," Blaine sang quietly and Kurt looked up at him from his position tucked against his shoulder, his eyes wide with surprise. "_Want to vanish inside your kiss_." Blaine deliberately closed his eyes as the song continued, not wanting to scare Kurt with declarations already. Kurt continued to stare but his gaze softened as he realised the beauty of Blaine's voice and the courage it must have taken for him to start singing. "_Seasons may change, winter to spring but I love you until the end of time. Come what may, come what may, I will love you until my dying day_." Blaine opened his eyes to see Kurt smiling up at him from his place on the sofa and he blushed a little at the gaze.

"_Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place; suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace," _Kurt started singing with Blaine and he beamed, so glad he was singing too_. "Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste, it all revolves around you." _Kurt sat up, his body apart now from Blaine but maintaining eye contact he faced him and continued to sing_. "And there's no mountain too high, no river too wide. Sing out this song and I'll be there by your side. Storm clouds may gather and stars may collide." _Blaine knew what was coming next and he blushed even more, knowing that Kurt couldn't possibly mean it_. "But I love you," _Kurt sang and smiled_. "I love you," _was echoed by Blaine who seemed to realise the enormity of what he had just said and stood up. Kurt, who looked on the verge of continuing the song, closed his mouth and blushed awkwardly as he stared at Blaine above him.

"What's wrong?" Kurt asked, a tremor to his voice now as the movie continued.

"Just going to get some sodas," Blaine said and he walked to the kitchen quickly leaving Kurt biting his lip slightly in worry.

Blaine didn't know what he was doing. Leaning on the kitchen counter, taking a moment before getting sodas out of the fridge, he tensed his shoulders, stretched his arms and sighed. Singing in front of anyone was nerve-wracking enough but to declare feelings he hardly knew he had, felt far too overwhelming.

"What just happened?" Kurt asked quietly by the door and Blaine turned so quickly he gave himself a crick in the neck and rubbed it.

"Nothing," Blaine said quickly, "What do you want to drink?" he said rummaging in the fridge and hiding his face lest it show all his emotion so vividly.

"Blaine," Kurt whispered as he sat down at the stool in the middle of the room and the pause made Blaine realise he would need to face Kurt and speak, that he couldn't escape. He turned from the fridge and placed the sodas between them on the table, sitting down opposite Kurt and taking a deep breath.

"I'm sorry," he said avoiding Kurt's determined gaze, "I just felt awkward declaring that 'I love you' when…." He let his voice trail away and Kurt seemed to understand, sitting up straight and breathing in.

"And you don't love me?" asked Kurt nodding slowly. "I get it Blaine, I know it wasn't meant as a love song." He smiled but Blaine could see the hurt in his eyes, could almost see Kurt rebuild the wall in front of him, there to protect and guard.

"No Kurt, I…" Blaine stumbled on his words, desperate to be understood but failing. Kurt kept nodding, seemingly in understanding but Blaine knew he didn't get it and he closed his hands into fists in frustration.

"I get it Blaine, don't worry," Kurt stood up and walked to the door, "Let's go back to the movie and…"

"No Kurt," Blaine interrupted causing Kurt to pause by the door in surprise, "You don't get it." Kurt's eyes widened as Blaine continued. "I do love you." He let it hang and Kurt looked frozen in time. "I love you as a friend and I wanted you to know that."

Kurt seemed to come unstuck at the admission. As a friend. Of course. He smiled slightly but Blaine could see a flicker of something cross his face. Before he could try to fathom what it was, Kurt started walking towards him and gave him a warm hug.

"I love you too," Kurt said, muffled into his shoulder, "As a friend."

* * *

There is a shift only really noticeable to Blaine but there nonetheless between them when they meet again. Kurt asked him if he wanted to come to the Brooklyn Superhero Supply store again to help the kids with their writing and Blaine agreed happily, hoping the awkwardness would have passed. They had been texting back and forth for a few days but there was a distinct coldness that hung around them and Blaine knew it was his fault. He shouldn't have mentioned the L word, it obviously made Kurt feel awkward and, probably with his blossoming relationship with Adam, it had made him reconsider his friendship with Blaine and take a step back. There was no friendly touching or hugging when they met outside the store although smiles were exchanged and Blaine hugged his arms across his chest as he let Kurt speak again to Steve while he waited near the door to the little alcove.

"Come in Blaine," Steve said as he approached Blaine and gestured for him to come closer. Kurt was already speaking to some of the kids that were there, some writing, some drawing but Blaine noticed a child slightly set apart, engrossed in his drawing and seemingly ignored by the others so he approached him.

"What are you doing?" Blaine asked kindly and the kid, who couldn't be any older than 12, looked up with a confused expression on his face. He started to sign and Blaine felt something sink in his stomach as he realised this kid couldn't hear him and he mouthed that he was sorry. The kid looked closely and understood and put his thumbs up in thanks. Blaine indicated that he was interested in what he was drawing and the kid smiled and pushed his paper closer to Blaine so he could see.

"That's really fantastic," Blaine mouths to him clearly and slowly and the boy grins widely. Blaine points at the Manga drawing and holds his thumbs up and the boy giggles at Blaine's attempt to communicate which causes Blaine to blush and shrug his shoulders in apology. The kid's drawings really are fantastic, full of colour and beauty in the simple lines and big eyes of the characters. He's managed to capture the emotion of each of the characters so beautifully that they look like tragic figures in a story and he smiles sadly seemingly to himself. The boy looks carefully at Blaine and gets a clean piece of paper from his pile and starts to write a note.

_You look sad… what's your name?_

Blaine is surprised that already this boy has picked up on his sadness and he feels guilty that he has put that on someone else. He shakes his head to prove he isn't sad but the boy continues to look at him carefully, giving Blaine the impression that he knows far more than he should about the world. Blaine writes an answer.

_**I'm not sad :) My name's Blaine. What's yours?**_

_Bobby – do you draw?_

_**No but I sing and I love superheroes**_

Bobby smiled at Blaine's admission on paper and wrote again.

_Who's your favourite?_

_**I have an affinity with Batman **_– and Blaine smiles at himself.

_I like Clark Kent the best _

_**He's not a superhero**_

_He is really and I think he's underappreciated_

Blaine looked at him and smiled, understanding what he was saying. There was a pause and then Kurt came over, a little rushed and worried that he had left Blaine on his own in a new situation.

"Sorry Blaine, I got caught up with some kids," he said, "I see you've met Bobby." And Bobby beamed again as Kurt signed to him as if it was the most natural thing.

"Yeah, he's amazing," Blaine said indicating the artwork, "I mean look at what he's drawn." He showed Kurt, who took it and smiled, signing again to Bobby that it was a good job. Blaine and Kurt spent the rest of the time drawing Manga with the help of Bobby who knew so much more. Despite the fact that Bobby couldn't communicate in the same way he still managed to show Blaine how to draw the clearest features and Blaine left that evening with a passable first attempt.

"I can't believe you know sign language Kurt," Blaine said as they walked to the nearest subway, "You were so good with him, so natural."

"I've been going for quite a while but I don't know as much sign language as I'd like to. Bobby teaches me more all the time and he's a great kid. He's had a really tough time with it all."

"That's really admirable Kurt," Blaine said kindly but Kurt shook his head.

"No that's nothing Blaine. Bobby's great and really brave, I don't deserve any praise for hanging around and helping." Blaine shook his head at Kurt's modesty but he smiled showing he understood.

They parted a little later on the train and although Kurt hugged him, Blaine realised it was quick and perfunctory and it made him lean forward slightly chasing the ghost of the feeling so it wouldn't be lost. Kurt smiled as he parted and Blaine stood watching him walk away and knowing that something was off. Working his hands through his hair he walked away towards home.

* * *

The following morning Blaine was accosted by the purple boots and when he looked up to see the face that had become familiar he noticed a new streak of purple hair framing Robyn's round but pretty face.

"Batman, what's up?" Robyn asked, her brow furrowed as Blaine slowly placed books that he didn't need in his locker.

"Nothing I'm ok," Blaine said as he attempted a smile but it doesn't reach his eyes and Robyn knows.

"Don't pull that shit with me," she said harshly, "Spill."

Blaine looked at her and not for the first time he realised he must display all his emotions on his face – both Kurt and Robyn always seem to know what he thinks and feels but he is so used to people ignoring the obvious and leaving him alone that it shocks him that they have demanded more from him. It is not enough that he placate them with 'fines' and 'okays', they need more, they know more.

"Just feel like an idiot, that's all," he starts, "It's a long story and probably one that requires coffee."

"After school?" Robyn asks and Blaine nods. "Is this to do with that Kurt guy you mentioned?"

Blaine looks shocked at her perception and she takes that as a yes and laughs.

"Oh I know all about boy trouble, we'll sort this out in no time," she said smiling, "After school then."

Blaine does meet her after school for coffee and tells her all about the snow day, how he has realised his feelings for Kurt are way more than a friend should feel and that he doesn't know what to do about it especially as Kurt is dating other guys.

"How do you get out of the friend zone and should I even bother?" Blaine asks seriously, "I mean he probably doesn't feel that way about me and I've burdened him enough I don't want to make my friendship with him really awkward."

"Blaine," Robyn said quietly her eyes kind, "I've never met this guy, never seen how he interacts with you but the fact that he's still around shows that he's definitely a good friend. You've shared quite a bit with him?"

"Yeah, everything," Blaine said sheepishly.

"Then he's worth it. People like that don't come around very often, you need to make a grand gesture to make sure he knows."

"I don't know Robyn," he said, "I don't really do grand gestures and I don't really know how he feels about me."

"You said he's been cold lately, why's that?" Blaine wracked his brain, trying to think of a reason and replayed the situation in his head.

"I guess ever since that time I told him I loved him then qualified it as a friend. I obviously made him feel uncomfortable. I mean he's dating someone else."

"Or he wished you hadn't said as a friend. Maybe he's been hoping for more?" Robyn was ever a hopeless romantic and her smile lit up her face. The thought of making something happen had her twitching in her seat. "I think you should sing," she said, "You're awesome when you sing and nothing says 'I love you' better than a song."

Blaine thought of the time he had heard Kurt sing, how beautiful it was and how far above his own talent Kurt was. When he sang he only thought of his mum and how precious those moments had been. Blaine had started to feel like he was moving forward, not dogged by the past, able to watch Disney and talk about his memories without becoming grey and cloudy with guilt. Kurt had helped him he knew that, he also knew that he couldn't burden Kurt with that alone, he couldn't place his recovery on him, that was too much pressure. He wanted to be big enough on his own.

He left Robyn a little later and decided to walk near the bridge. It had been such a long time since he had been anywhere near the water he had almost forgotten what it felt like to breathe in the slightly salty air, the weight of it hanging over him. He stared out at the ripples breaking; at the bridge that remained so sturdy and unyielding he knew it would never change. As he stood there, getting slightly closer to the edge he knew its power had diminished, he no longer wanted to fall, just the thought alone had him conjuring the image of Kurt's face – perfect, caring and fiercely protective. He remembered hugging him closer as they watched Moulin Rouge, how he had felt so warm tucked into his side, how just the slightest contact made Blaine feel weak. He wanted to be so strong by the water and he stood up straighter, almost facing it deliberately and bravely. His phone shocked him out of his reverie and he answered it quickly.

"Hi Blaine," Kurt's clear voice rang out on the other side, "I just wondered if you wanted to catch a movie at the old theatre tomorrow? They're showing All About Eve and I just love that film."

"Oh yeah I haven't seen it in years so I'd love to see it again," Blaine said. His voice must have trembled and the wind could be heard through the pause in conversation. Kurt suddenly sounded nervous.

"Blaine? Where are you?"

Blaine knew what his mind would jump to if he told him and he was so tempted to lie but he couldn't, not to Kurt who had been through everything with him.

"I'm by the water," he said, "Not on the bridge," he said hastily, "I just came from the coffee shop and…."

"I'm on my way Blaine," Kurt said instantly interrupting him and Blaine felt panic rise in his chest though he always wanted Kurt close.

"No don't be silly Kurt I'm fine," Blaine said nearly laughing in an attempt to show he was ok.

"No Blaine, I'll be there soon, just wait." Kurt hung up and Blaine was left to stare at his phone and wonder how it had happened so quickly. He sat down on the bench nearby and waited.

He knew Kurt cared but he sighed. He didn't want to feel like a special case, someone that needed rescuing and he realised that was all that Kurt thought of him, that he was someone to save. Blaine just wanted to be and having someone near, someone to be with was something wonderful and should be treasured. He didn't know how long he waited for Kurt but the wind got colder and he wrapped himself closer as Kurt approached.

"Blaine," he said and Blaine looked up, stood and walked towards him.

"You shouldn't have come," Blaine said sadly, "You didn't need to come."

Kurt looked at him for the longest time and seemed to understand after a while that he had made things worse and that Blaine didn't need him.

"I was worried about you," he said, "I didn't want you to be on your own here."

"I'm fine Kurt," Blaine said coming closer, "I've been here before but it's so different now. I won't say that everything's ok and happy all the time but I can survive, I can be strong on my own. You don't need to keep saving me."

Kurt looked hurt at this statement and he realised he had put that on Blaine, had made him feel like a special assignment. He came closer and held Blaine's hands between his own.

"I'm sorry Blaine, I don't want to make you think that. I guess I have so much invested in you, I feel only panic when you say you are anywhere near this place." His eyes glistened in the cold air, the blues of his eyes swirling with the greys and greens Blaine could see there.

"No I love that you care Kurt, I really do but it gets a bit frustrating that I can't manage on my own."

"You can," Kurt said, letting Blaine's hands fall so as to straighten his arms and square his shoulders. Blaine walked closer to the water and Kurt hung back despite his growing urge to push Blaine further away from the river.

"Do you sometimes want to scream and shout in frustration that you can't be understood?" Blaine said and Kurt almost couldn't hear him, his voice lost in the wind.

"Sometimes," Kurt admitted, "But I find singing is the best way to express all of that. I don't know where I would be if I couldn't sing, if I didn't have that outlet." Kurt paused for a moment, realising that although he had heard Blaine sing some of 'Come What May' he hadn't heard him sing a whole song.

"Maybe you could sing now," Kurt said still facing Blaine's back. Blaine tensed his shoulders at the idea but he thought it over.

"I haven't sung for a very long time, only to complete strangers or snippets of songs. I used to sing for my mum," Blaine whispered. Kurt knew what the song would mean. It would be important for Kurt to remain behind him and Blaine's voice would be lost towards the water in the wind but it would be so powerful.

"Please," Kurt whispered and Blaine began.

_I could drag you from the ocean,  
I could pull you from the fire  
And when you're standing in the shadows  
I could open up the sky  
And I could give you my devotion  
Until the end of time  
And you will never be forgotten  
With me by your side_

_And I don't need this life_

_I just need…  
_

Kurt's breath hitched slightly at the admission but was so desperate for Blaine to continue he remained perfectly still.

_I've got nothing left to live for  
Got no reason yet to die  
But when I'm standing in the gallows  
I'll be staring at the sky  
Because no matter where they take me  
Death I will survive  
And I will never be forgotten  
With you by my side_

_Cause I don't need this life_  
_I just need…_

_Somebody to die for_  
_Somebody to cry for_  
_When I'm lonely_

_When I'm standing in the fire  
I will look him in the eye  
And I will let the devil know that  
I was brave enough to die  
And there's no hell that he can show me  
That's deeper than my pride  
Cause I will never be forgotten  
Forever I'll fight_

_And I don't need this life_  
_I just need…_

_Somebody to die for_  
_Somebody to cry for_  
_When I'm lonely_

_Don't go gentle into that good night_  
_Rage on against the dying light_

Kurt was mesmerised at the end, spellbound by his voice and how it changed pitch so effortlessly like he knew the song backwards. He walked forward without realising his feet were moving and he gently touched Blaine's back, the merest of touches but Blaine turned and Kurt could see the tears shining in his eyes and the tear tracks down his face. He stroked his cheek, removing all pain just with his thumb and he leant in closer, brushing his lips so gently along Blaine's that he stilled and his eyes closed. Blaine's face froze as Kurt parted from him, his eyes still closed but as he opened them he thought he was dreaming, Kurt's expression one of anxiety and adoration. Blaine smiled and his eyes flickered over Kurt's face, taking in his lips and his eyes of blue. He closed the gap between them and kissed Kurt fully on the lips, his lips dry and cold but as they moved against Kurt's own, he seemed to come alive and his arm snaked around Kurt's waist bringing him closer. They stayed like that only for a few moments but as they finally parted Blaine looked completely in awe of the beautiful boy that he had kissed and that had made him feel so much in the last few weeks. Kurt brought his hand to Blaine's cheek and smiled, knowing that the butterflies he felt when he watched Moulin Rouge were here to stay and he had never felt more feather-light.

* * *

**A/N**: Hope that makes up for the last chapter! Let me know what you think – as always thank you for so many follows and reviews. You're all stars!

**Song quoted**:

'Someone To Die For' by Hurts

'Come What May' from Moulin Rouge


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N**: Sorry for the delay, hopefully updates will be slightly quicker now.

* * *

The bridge behind them, the water lapping along slowly by their side, Kurt and Blaine walked side by side, hands together. The silence was peaceful, the only sound the water rolling past but if thoughts could be heard Blaine's mind would only be a cacophony of noise.

The kiss had been beautiful, something Blaine had dreamt of and wished for but nothing had been said about their future and Adam hadn't been mentioned and Blaine always struggled to keep his thoughts calm and peaceful especially after a doubt started to creep in. Blaine could feel his heartbeat race as they walked to a coffee shop and the silence continued, Kurt basking in the new slightly calloused hand in his and thoughts of kisses. Blaine's mind conjured images of a maze, where at each corner was a question and he repeated the process several times before he inadvertently squeezed Kurt's hand in his panic and caused Kurt to stop along the road.

"What's wrong?" Kurt asked, stopping to look at Blaine's tense jaw and set expression.

Blaine's eyes flitted from side to side, taking in Kurt's worried expression and he took a deep breath.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to – I mean, it's nothing," Blaine stuttered.

Kurt looked at him carefully then carried on walking, this time a little quicker and they remained silent until they reached the coffee shop. Kurt bought coffees while Blaine found them a table. As Kurt approached he took in Blaine's tense sitting position, his eyes flicking from the counter, to the barista, back to the counter then to the sugar stand. He sat in front of Blaine and sighed, hoping to bring him back to the here and now.

The drinks set between them on the table, their bodies less than a metre apart, Kurt just watched him in silence, until Blaine's eyes landed on his expression and he knew he would have to speak.

"What's wrong?" Kurt asked again but his whisper betrayed his worry and nerves, "Do you regret it?" His voice trembled and Blaine seemed to forget repeated images and mazes and butterflies stirring in his stomach and he rushed to the other side of the sofa that Kurt was sitting on.

"God Kurt," he exclaimed, clutching Kurt's hands, "That's so far from what this is, I…. gosh I don't regret any of that," he breathed out and Kurt lips trembled into a smile.

"Then why do you look like you want to be sick and your mind is full of words that you're trying to read quickly."

Blaine laughed slightly at this. He had never known anyone to so beautifully describe what his face looked like when he panicked.

"I was just worried that I was reading too much into this whole situation, I mean what about Adam, what about us in the future, I - "

"Blaine," Kurt said, stilling his trembling hand again, "Adam is really just a friend," he said smiling. "We went on a few coffee dates, kissed once or twice but we're completely casual."

"Like us?" Blaine asked quietly and Kurt realised what he had said sounded like their relationship and he shook his head.

"No, not like us," Kurt said, "I wouldn't trivialise it like that. I don't want to rush things with you, you're special." Kurt had made it sound romantic and Blaine visibly relaxed as a weight lifted. "Do you want to date?" Kurt continued worrying his bottom lip slightly.

Blaine nodded, smiling sweetly. He couldn't put into words what he wanted with Kurt and he tried to calm the rushing tide of images of dates, weddings, babies and kittens.

"Then that's great, I'd love that too," Kurt said smiling, looking relieved, "We don't have to rush into anything, I'm right here." Blaine sighed slightly, making a conscious effort to calm his heartbeat.

"But Adam?" Blaine asked.

"Just a friend if you'd rather?" Kurt asked.

"Yeah, but I don't want to be controlling," Blaine muttered, suddenly looking at his coffee froth.

"Blaine," Kurt said, his tone begging Blaine to look his way, "We can definitely be exclusive, I like you," he said and Blaine smiled, "I like you a lot and Adam was really just one or two dates. I know this is strange, I know I probably sound a bit full on but…." Kurt's voice trailed away and Blaine realised he wasn't the only one who was nervous about this situation.

"I understand Kurt," he said, "I feel the same way," and smiles were exchanged over coffee cups, making both boys feel at ease.

"Well how about a proper date to even the score with Adam?" Kurt asked laughing.

"Yeah, I'd like that a lot," Blaine said smiling.

* * *

"A date?!" Robyn squealed the next day at school and Blaine looked around in panic that people might think they were crazy, "That's so exciting! What are you going to wear? What are you going to do?"

"I don't know, I hadn't thought that far ahead," Blaine muttered, forgetting his locker combination and starting again.

"Well you need to impress him if he's comparing you to Adam," Robyn said matter-of-factly and Blaine faced her again, giving up on his locker.

"What? Is that what you think he's doing?"

"No of course not," she said, realising her mistake, "But it wouldn't hurt to go way out on this one, really impress him."

"Oh gosh, this was what I was worried about," Blaine said, putting his hand through his hair and messing his gel causing Robyn's eyes to widen. She had never seen Blaine touch his hair that way.

"No need to worry, we'll plan together," Robyn said smiling widely, "I know a thing or two about romance. I am after all someone who has had all the time to dream and none of the experiences to match." Blaine started walking along the corridor and Robyn shared her ideas, linking her arm through Blaine's as he listened attentively.

* * *

Blaine approached their chosen meeting place, the subway station between both their locations, with trepidation, clutching the suggested flowers in his hands. Kurt was already there and seeing Blaine he beamed and started to laugh. He was holding flowers too.

"They're lovely," Kurt gushed as they swapped flowers and Blaine looked at the flowers he had just taken from Kurt and laughed too.

"These are beautiful Kurt," Blaine said, still looking at the red and yellow flowers in his hand, "I wasn't expecting these."

"Good I like to defy expectations," Kurt said laughing. He linked arms with Blaine and came closer to whisper near his ear. "Am I going to find out where we're going and why you have a big rucksack on your back?" Blaine looked at him and laughed again, feeling completely at ease. With all the worry he felt about the date, the panic that everything wouldn't go to plan, he looked at Kurt, his eyes twinkling with hope and mischief and he knew that however he spent the evening, whatever they did, it would be magical.

"No, you'll just have to wait," he said winking and Blaine felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up at Kurt's continued proximity and his adorable pout.

They got on the subway and travelled to the Broadway stop in Queens. Blaine discussed his day at school while Kurt complained about the situation at home.

"Santana has finally discovered that Rachel's boyfriend Brody is a gigolo," he said matter-of-factly, and Blaine's eyes widened in surprise, "And now Brody has left and Rachel doesn't know the reason why. She has an audition coming up and I don't think it would be good for her to know yet, she's had a tough time recently." Blaine nodded in understanding. "You should totally meet them all by the way," Kurt continued, "They'd love you but Rachel can be a bit too much sometimes, although she's fantastic when you get to know her and Santana is fiercely loyal but one hell of a bitch sometimes." Blaine chuckled.

"They sound fabulous," Blaine said still laughing.

"Oh they totally are," Kurt said, "I don't know what I'd do without them really. It can be really lonely in New York."

"Yeah," Blaine said quietly, "It can be sometimes."

"But that's the great thing," Kurt said, picking up on the sadness, "People understand that here and although everything goes so fast, people are here when you need them to be and life comes right at you and makes you come alive. It gives you no choice – you have to live otherwise you get left behind. Robyn has always sounded really nice," he continued, "I mean it sounds like you've made a friend for life there, I'd like to meet her."

It all sounded so strange to Blaine's ears, so used to flitting from one place to another, never settled that even in high school he only wanted friends, only wanted to feel important in someone's life. Now he had Robyn and Kurt, which meant so much to him now. Life was good.

They soon arrived at Blaine's chosen destination and as the sky was still light they walked around the park until Kurt realised he had no idea where he was.

"What is this place?" Kurt asked, looking around at the strange sculptures.

"Socrates Sculpture Park," Blaine said, smiling, "I loved this place when I was a kid and we travelled to New York. Even when my dad moved us, we always seemed to come back to New York. It was a deal that my mum had with him I think." Blaine had never spoken so casually about his mum and although tears appeared in his eyes at the thought of his mother, he smiled at the blurry image of Kurt next to him and gripped his hand.

"I love hearing about your mum," Kurt said, squeezing his hand gently.

"There's plenty more lovely memories that I don't let out very often," Blaine whispered, looking at his feet as they continued to walk, "But I'm sure you'll get to hear more of them."

"I'd like that," Kurt whispered a little closer to Blaine as he rested his cheek on his shoulder.

They passed strange and cool sculptures, one that appeared to be a yellow brick road, winding and curled; one with a car on top of a giant trophy, almost like the glee nationals trophy that Kurt had won in his senior year. They passed a giant caged cube and an archway full of plastic bricks. Blaine seemed particularly fascinated by an uprooted tree with a collection of plastic white roots underneath that strangely resembled spider's legs, which caused Kurt to back away slightly. There was a twisted rainbow loop that seemed to show DNA and boats and used bicycle wheels in a pile. They all seemed to have a message and used creative energy beautifully, making Kurt and Blaine admire the handiwork and comment on the crazy thoughts whizzing through artists' minds.

"What made you want to come here for our date?" Kurt asked smiling, as they slowed down and walked towards a crowd that was gathering at one end of the park.

"I feel like you've been reminding me ever since I met you of something that I'd forgotten long ago," Blaine began, "And I wanted to show you that I knew all along, I had just forgotten."

"Forgotten what?" Kurt asked, slightly confused.

"I'd forgotten that life was wonderful and special and should be treasured," he said and Blaine thought back to his struggles, to how he felt lost and guilty and marked but as he looked at Kurt's beautiful face as the sun began to set, he realised that not only was the world a pretty wonderful place, but this boy in front of him was beautiful too. He leaned in slowly, Kurt's eyes flickering with want and need and as they fluttered closed, Blaine kissed him as they stood still. The world carried on but time seem to pause just slightly until they parted and shared a blush as they continued to walk towards the lights projected over the park.

"What is this?" Kurt asked as Blaine stopped in a slightly secluded area with a good view of the big screen in front of them.

"This is the outdoor cinema and the reason I have a big rucksack on my shoulder," Blaine said laughing at Kurt's gaping face. Blaine took out the picnic blanket and laid it out in front of Kurt. He stretched out his hand to suggest that he sit down and Kurt laughed.

"This is amazing," Kurt said, looking around at the gathered couples and groups of friends who were all eating picnics or popcorn they had bought, as Blaine unpacked all the food and drink. The screen was blank but the lights stretched out over the crowd in front of it. To one side the lights of the sunset was the perfect background.

"Oh…." Kurt gasped, as he noticed, "Look at that."

And Blaine did. He sat next to Kurt, their legs touching accidentally and Kurt looked down at Blaine's awkward body next to him and he touched his hand that rested on Blaine's knee. The shades of purple and pink that lit the sky behind the screen seemed to swirl and blend as Blaine looked down at the hand on top of his own. Kurt's touch felt warm to his cold skin and he trembled slightly. He glanced up at Kurt to find Kurt gazing at him, no longer admiring the sunset.

"Your eyes are beautiful in this light Blaine," Kurt whispered and Blaine didn't want to blink, so mesmerised by the swirls of blue, green and grey in the eyes that stared at his own. Kurt leant closer, capturing Blaine's lips in a kiss, starting slow, just a whisper of pressure between them, then more fervent as their lips moved together. Blaine tentatively felt his way into Kurt's mouth, feeling, exploring and Kurt sighed into the kiss. Moments passed, and Blaine never wanted it to end but he suddenly needed air and the screen sprang to life with the start of Singing in the Rain.

"Oh I love this film," Kurt began after shaking his head out of its beautiful daze. "I used to watch this with my mum when I was sick."

"What was she like?" Blaine asked timidly, knowing how painful it was to talk about his own mother.

Kurt shared his stories as they ate their chicken legs and quiche, drinking sparkling apple and watching the film. They ended up singing the songs along with the crowd and the cast of the film on the big screen, Blaine resting his arm around Kurt's waist and touching his shoulder with his cheek. As the film finished, Blaine suddenly didn't want the night to end and as Kurt stood to start packing away the picnic food, Blaine took his hand and spun him to face him.

"Don't hurry," Blaine said breathless, despite the fact that they had stayed still for hours. "Do you ever just want to stop the clocks?" Blaine whispered, still holding Kurt's hand in his but pulling him closer so their chests were flush together.

"I do now," Kurt whispered, "It's like that song…. '_I wanna stop the clocks tonight, I I wanna tear the hands right off, I I wanna stop the world from turning and stay right here for good_."

"_I I hope the sun forgets to rise_," Blaine continued, knowing the Leona Lewis song well and starting to dance with Kurt, not caring that people were packing away and leaving the screening. "_I I won't ever leave your side, I I wanna stop the clocks tonight and stay right here for good_."

_I'd rather spend my life  
Motionless with you  
Than dancing with another_

_I wanna cry until I laugh and laugh until I cry_  
_Don't wanna let a single moment of you pass me by_  
_If only I could freeze the frame_  
_You know that I would stay right here for good_

* * *

**A/N**: Socrates Sculpture Park is real and in that location. It shows films in July and August so I just made it a little earlier in the year for our boys. More details can be found on the website: socratessculpturepark dot org. Let me know what you think!

**Song used**:

'Stop the Clocks' by Leona Lewis


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N**: Thank you so much for the lovely reviews – can't believe it has so many follows, hope you enjoy this chapter :)

Blaine seemed to go about in a haze the following day, constantly thinking of the night before, Kurt's face against the flicker of the movie screen and his lips against his own. He wanted to pinch himself that he had gotten so lucky, that Kurt was even in his life and it was only when Robyn bounded up to him in the corridor that he seemed to know where he was.

"Batman," she screeched, "How did it go?" She tugged so insistently that she inadvertently pulled a few hairs on his arm.

"It went well I think," he said, smiling shyly, "I'm meeting him for coffee later."

"And Adam?" she asked, eyes wide, smile hopeful.

"Just friends," he said grinning.

"Excellent!" she said beaming and putting her thumbs up, "Now your love life is sorted, we need to talk." She looked solemn and paused in the corridor on the way to class.

"We do?"

"Yeah, we have regionals coming up and we need to do a duet."

"Oh no, no, no," he said, shaking his head and walking to class, "I don't do public singing."

"What?" she said incredulously, "Why? Have you heard yourself? You're fantastic." She walked briskly to catch up with Blaine and tried to catch his eye but he resolutely kept his eyes down. "Blaine, I mean it," she continued, "My gramps agreed, he's totally expecting you to sing again soon by the way." Blaine turned to face her slightly.

"Really?"

"Really Blaine," she said sweetly, glad to have his attention, "He's hard to please, believe me. He critiqued my first piano recital when I was six."

"But I never know what to sing."

"It doesn't matter, you could sing the alphabet and you'd have people wide eyed and amazed." Blaine laughed. "Just sing what matters to you; just sing from your heart." He nodded, as if to say he was processing the information.

"I'll think about it I guess," he said.

"Good, but don't take too long," she said, "We only have a couple of weeks and we need to get in there quick if we want to suggest a duet."

Blaine opened the door to their classroom and sat down to listen to the teacher as he nibbled on his pen and hoped that Kurt would be able to help him later.

* * *

"Oh you should definitely sing Blaine," Kurt said, smiling widely as they walked to the superhero store holding hands, their arms swinging slightly. "You sound amazing and Robyn's right, you always sing from the heart: that's your strength."

"I don't know…."

Kurt slowed slightly and looked at Blaine carefully. "Is it because of your mum Blaine?" Blaine's silence said it all. He liked to sing for Kurt but only when he felt trapped inside his own head, only when it was a way to communicate his feelings and he hoped that music broke all barriers. He didn't like the idea of being a performing monkey, only there to help them win regionals.

"Blaine," Kurt continued, understanding Blaine's silence, "I think your mum would love to hear you sing now if she could."

"It's not just that," Blaine began, "I did always sing for her and whenever I sing it reminds me of how happy I was when I was with her. Now I only seem to sing sad songs."

"What else is it?"

"I don't want singing to be trivial, it should mean something," Blaine said.

"Regionals means something," Kurt said, "When we won regionals two years in a row it was the best feeling in the world. It meant something to us. We had strived and fought for our glee club, had too many slushies thrown at us but we showed that despite the fact we were 'losers' we felt like winners when we sang and it was the one place where we were celebrated."

Kurt looked so happy at the memory of his glee club, picturing the trophies and the lights that Blaine wanted what he had had - a place to belong, a feeling of celebration.

"I guess I don't really know what to sing," Blaine said quietly after a while.

"Sing what comes naturally, sing how you feel at the moment. I bet Robyn will love whatever you sing and I'll be there to support you."

"Really? You'd go?" Blaine said, completely surprised.

"Of course, silly," Kurt said, hitting Blaine's arm gently, "I'd never miss it."

Blaine smiled shyly, ducking his head slightly in his shoulders. If Kurt was there to see him perform then he suddenly felt like he could do anything and it was the greatest feeling.

* * *

Bobby was there again, in his usual spot drawing silently. None of the other kids knew how to communicate with him and although they sometimes sat with him to keep him company, he seemed to prefer sitting alone, with Steve just occasionally checking on him. As soon as they entered though his face lit up and Kurt went straight to him and signed in greeting. Bobby was eager to show the drawings he was working on and as he spotted Blaine shyly standing behind Kurt, not wanting to interrupt, he waved to him, causing a big grin to form on Blaine's face. After a while Kurt said he would get them both machine coffees and left Blaine and Bobby on their own, which caused Bobby to immediately get some paper out for Blaine to join him.

They drew silently for a while, both enjoying the peace in the rhythmic action of drawing seemingly untouchable faces and delicate hands. Bobby would glance every so often at Blaine's drawings to see how he was getting on and Blaine would take inspiration and ideas from Bobby, who seemed to be working on a particular scene with several characters. Bobby slipped another piece of paper out of his work book and wrote words, passing it along to Blaine, who looked at it in surprise.

_You draw well now. _

_**Thanks – not as good as you though. Yours are amazing, so delicate and beautiful. **_

_Thanks – I really like drawing, it's peaceful and nice here on my own_

_**Doesn't it get lonely?**_

_Not really – I guess my world's pretty quiet anyway_

Bobby looked a little sheepish at his last written comment but Blaine smiled in understanding.

_What do you like to do?_

_**I sing sometimes**_

_What kinda songs?_

_**Anything really - pop, soft rock, musical classics – I love music.**_

_I wish I could hear it._

Blaine didn't know what to write in reply. He couldn't imagine his world without music, without hearing the rustle of leaves, without hearing laughter and the sing-song voice of Kurt. Bobby seemed to sense he wasn't going to reply soon so he continued writing.

_I wish a lot of things but I think I miss music the most, even though I've never been able to hear it._

Blaine could understand that. He missed a lot of things, mainly those that he had known and had treasured and lost. To miss something that he had never known seemed strange but to be left out, to be denied an experience seemed abhorrent too.

_I like reading song lyrics though. They're like poetry. _

Blaine nodded. He had tried to write songs of his own, turn his poetry into music and although it often seemed trite to him, he tried and he wanted to get better.

_**I sometimes write songs.**_

_I'd like to read them._

Bobby smiled encouragingly.

_**I'll bring some next time.**_

_What do you write about?_

Blaine paused. His songs were never really fully formed, more a collection of images that haunted him, that he knew he needed to express or it would eat away at him. They had always seemed so personal to him and the thought of anyone seeing them scared him, but as Bobby continued to look at his drawings, he knew that he would share all his songs with this quiet boy that was unassuming and just wanted to see a little more of him.

_**Things that haunt me a little, things that live in my head.**_

Bobby didn't write for a while, his eyes transfixed at the paper in front of him, Blaine's final sentence staring at him.

_It's quiet outside but inside my head screams._

Blaine looked at Bobby, then again at the words he had written, surprise showing on his face that this kid knew just what he meant. It scared him slightly.

_**I feel like that sometimes. It hurts but I think the best thing is being able to talk, no matter how you do it and the madness stops for a little bit and you're understood for a while and there's peace. Like when you draw.**_

_Like when you sing?_

_**Yeah, like when I sing.**_

Blaine looked over at Kurt, who was talking excitedly to a kid about his Sai swords and gesturing madly. He looked so happy, his smile stretching his face so beautifully that Blaine could only smile in return and Bobby noticed.

_And when you talk to Kurt?_

Blaine looked at the paper, then back to Kurt and he smiled.

_**Yeah, when I talk to Kurt.**_

And Bobby nodded in understanding.

* * *

A little while later Kurt was helping another slightly older child called Bea with her writing, reading it carefully and making suggestions which she took readily. Her story was fantastic and involved little magical creatures that sang and spread joy and love just by their voices. She had named them the Naelib and her description of the leader – a quiet and reserved creature that was wise and full of understanding – reminded Kurt of Blaine, causing him to look at his new boyfriend that was writing on a scrap of paper and passing it to Bobby. He smiled that Blaine seemed to be getting on so well with Bobby, the boy always quiet and reserved, not perhaps trusting the others to let him join in and preferring his own company. Kurt knew some of the trouble that Bobby had been through and knew that the friendship with Blaine would probably help them both. He caught Blaine's eye as he looked over and smiled as Blaine smiled too, their eyes twinkling. He suddenly knew the song that Blaine had to sing at regionals and could hear it clearly in his head. If he was honest he had been falling slowly for the honey eyed boy sitting in the corner away from the others for a long time but as he had gone home the night before, he couldn't help but do the happy dance as he plopped down on his bed. He had never known something feel so easy and light and it left him feeling tingly and magical. Although he worried over Blaine, wanted to take him in his arms and protect him from any unwanted evil thought of guilt, he revelled in their light touches and kisses, feeling like he was falling and enjoying every moment. He remembered where he was though and turned to find Bea looking at him expectantly, nodding at her writing and Kurt turned to it again, making suggestions that brought her story more to life and inadvertently immortalised Blaine more and more in words.

After a while Kurt finished with Bea and she thanked him for the help as he left, looking at her final words with a pleased expression, knowing it was at its best.

Kurt smiled warmly at Blaine as he approached and started signing to Bobby who showed him his latest drawing. Kurt was clearly impressed and signed some more, Blaine not able to keep up. He had taught himself some sign language using the internet over the last week but felt woefully inadequate as he watched Kurt and realised that he had learnt silly vocabulary like colours and food that he would never need in conversation with Bobby. Kurt signed that they had to leave soon and Blaine signed goodbye as he stood to go and Bobby beamed, knowing that Blaine had put in the effort for him and he signed a reply.

"You learned some sign language?" Kurt asked as they left the store and faced the cool breeze outside.

"Just a little," Blaine said shrugging, "I wanted to communicate a little better but I realised as I watched you that I learnt silly stuff and will practice more."

"What you did was just great Blaine," Kurt said, smiling, "Bobby's not used to anyone bothering to sign and to learn it for him."

"But why?" Blaine said, truly perplexed, "He's a great kid, why don't people make the effort?"

"They don't know that he needs it I guess," Kurt said sadly, "He's always kept himself to himself and people are suspicious of that and think that he wants to always be alone. He seems happy enough and they don't realise how lonely it must be."

"Yeah it must be," Blaine said, looking at his shoes as he walked, "He was writing earlier of how loud his head is. I get that." Kurt looked at Blaine as he continued to walk, noticed his hand loosely placed by his side and he took it and squeezed, causing Blaine to look up.

"I hate that," Kurt whispered, "No one should feel like that. Sometimes when I was bullied in high school I would shout insults in my head, I would reply with a witty comeback but never had the courage to say anything out loud. I vowed that I would do well for myself, that I would show them but sometimes I just wished I could speak and scream. I don't know how it must feel to know that you can never express yourself fully because of a disability so I never want Bobby to feel that he has no one to talk to."

"He knows he has you Kurt," Blaine said, smiling sweetly.

"And now he has you," Kurt said smiling back and kissing Blaine on the cheek, causing a blush to grace his face. "Never feel you have to keep silent Blaine, I want to know anything and everything that goes on in that lovely, sweet head of yours. If you'll let me," he finished quietly, unsure of his comment.

Blaine looked at him as they stopped, his eyes twinkling in the lights of the avenue.

"I could tell you everything," he whispered, as if he wanted to, as if all his words were just there on the tip of his tongue. "You already make me feel safe, I think you sometimes know everything just by looking at me," he smiled, his lips twitching and his face relaxed. Kurt kissed him on the lips chastely and Blaine felt his breath hitch at the surprise contact but he realised that all the chaos and guilt that Blaine thought would be a constant in his mind, always calmed around Kurt. If his head was a blurry ball of knots and twisted vines before, it was a clear sea like the reflected stillness in Kurt's cyan eyes now.

* * *

Robyn jumped up from her seat as soon as glee club started, bounding to the front of the room and making her suggestion for a duet known.

"Oh no, hold up!" Bobby shouted, holding up her hand fiercely, "I hope this doesn't mean it will be the Blaine and Robyn show?"

"Oh no," Robyn said smiling, not fazed at all by Bobby's scary expression, "We just want to sing one song, the others are up for grabs."

Bobby, the girl who would never want to be called Roberta seemed to be placated at this sentence and she nodded her head in understanding.

"Have you any ideas?" Natalie asked quietly.

"Not really," Blaine said shyly.

"Well whatever you want to sing, I'm sure will be great," Zachary said, patting Blaine on the shoulder as he sat next to him. Zachary was confident, always chatting to the others but he would glance over at Blaine every so often, seeming to understand his reticence and wanting to include him. Robyn smiled even wider at the kind gesture as she stood at the front of the choir room and she took her seat again.

"We'll come up with a great song, I promise," she said, nodding repeatedly, "You wait."

Blaine looked at her optimistic expression and gulped, looking at the floor and wondering if it could swallow him whole.

* * *

Blaine rang Kurt that evening with a hint of panic in his voice, desperate to find a song that meant something, that would impress the others. Kurt told him calmly the song he had thought would be perfect for him and Blaine was silent on the other end for a while, which Kurt took to mean he hated the idea.

"You don't have to sing that song," Kurt started, after the silence had become awkward.

"Oh no, Kurt, it's perfect," Blaine whispered, as if he was afraid that his voice would ruin the moment of realisation. "I can't believe I didn't think of it before."

"You know the song?"

"Yeah, I love it, it's one of my favourites," Blaine said, "What made you think of it?" he asked after a pause.

"I was just watching you with Bobby, at the superhero store yesterday and it came to me. This other Bobby sounds the complete opposite of sweet superhero Bobby though," Kurt said laughing, hoping the mention of another topic might distract Blaine from the implication in the song. No such luck.

"You thought of that song when you saw me?" Blaine whispered.

"Yeah," Kurt whispered shyly, his voice shaking slightly, "Is that ok?"

"Oh yeah," Blaine said after a while, realising Kurt was still there and not a dream.

"It's a perfect song," Kurt continued, feeling more confident, wanting Blaine to understand. "I guess it reminds me of those times near the bridge, over the water. Even though I wasn't there, I couldn't see you, I always think of water when I see you. Not in a bad way," Kurt started, realising Blaine might take it the wrong way, as Blaine's eyes widened. "It doesn't remind me of death though I know it might to you, I think maybe it reminds me of new beginnings, starting again and being clean. I think it means loneliness looking out at that water and the song sounds more hopeful than that. I want to be more than the water, I want to be the boat," Kurt finished, his cheeks blushing slightly and he was suddenly grateful that Blaine couldn't see him although he realised he couldn't see Blaine's reaction and wondered how his words would be taken.

"I always think that when I see the water," Blaine began, realising he would be admitting more to Kurt than he had ever said to anyone. "I always wanted to be clean, like the water could wash it all away."

"Do you think Robyn will like the song?" Kurt asked quietly.

"I'll sing it at glee tomorrow and see," Blaine said, "Thanks Kurt, that's a perfect song."

"A perfect song for a pretty perfect guy," Kurt said and Blaine chuckled slightly.

"I don't know about that, but thanks," Blaine said. They finished the conversation soon after, talking about school and NYADA, hopes and dreams and Kurt hung up after singing the song quietly to Blaine as he fell asleep.

* * *

The reception to the song was not what Blaine had expected. He stood at the front of the choir room as he finished, an eerie silence hovering over the people gathered to watch him, many mouths open and eyes wide. He looked scared, his body starting to gather in on itself until Robyn realised and hopped up from her seat.

"Batman," she said, shaking her head from side to side as she walked over to him and grabbed his arms. Blaine looked at her earnestly, his eyes questioning what she was to say next. "There's no way I'm singing that with you," she said and Blaine looked taken aback. "I am not going to ruin that song with my added voice, you have to sing that on your own." At the realisation of what she had said, Blaine looked to the others, who were all nodding in agreement, their mouths still open. He had never seen Bobby so quiet.

Singing with the group for regionals went well, Blaine feeling part of a team, feeling like he belonged. They had worked hard on their choreography and Blaine knew they looked like a family and that it would translate to the people in the audience. As the rest of the group left to go to the wings of the stage, he remained, nervously touching the hem of his jumper but searching the crowd again, his eyes alighted on Kurt who smiled and Blaine thought he could even see the twinkle in them from this distance. He swallowed and began, singing for Kurt, singing for his mum who couldn't see him and his dad who was next to Kurt in the audience.

_I don't know you__  
__But I want you__  
__All the more for that_

His voice trembled slightly but his eyes focused on Kurt and he gained confidence, knowing that Kurt believed in him, knowing that he meant everything he sang.

_Words fall through me__  
__And always fool me__  
__And I can't react_

Kurt looked to his boy on stage, his hands placed nervously at the bottom of his top and he felt his eyes fill with tears, knowing the confidence it must have taken for him to sing. He blinked them away, determined to see all of the performance and catch everyone's response to Blaine's beauty.

_And games that never amount__  
__To more than they're meant__  
__Will play themselves out_

_Take this sinking boat and point it home__  
__We've still got time__  
__Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice__  
__You'll make it now_

_Falling slowly, eyes that know me__  
__And I can't go back__  
__Moods that take me and erase me__  
__And I'm painted black__  
__You have suffered enough__  
__And warred with yourself__  
__It's time that you won_

_Take this sinking boat and point it home__  
__We've still got time__  
__Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice__  
_

Blaine knew where he was home and he looked to Kurt, his eyes still twinkling in the dim light of the auditorium and realised he had fallen and it felt glorious, just as Kurt realised the same.

_You've made it now__  
__Falling slowly sing your melody__  
__I'll sing it loud_

**Song used: **

'Falling Slowly' from the musical Once


	13. Chapter 13

The uproarious applause and the standing ovation are completely unexpected to Blaine. There is a simple beat of silence, a pause as he finishes before his dad and Kurt stand and clap loudly and he can see them both whooping in glee. Everyone around them stands and claps and Blaine takes a physical step back. He can see the pride and wonder on his dad's face as Kurt beams at him and Blaine smiles slowly, not sure how to take this sudden celebration of his talent. He bows politely then beckons the rest of his glee club who bound on to the stage to take their bows as everyone applauds before they walk back to the wings. Blaine takes a deep breath before it all threatens to overwhelm him and Robyn envelops him in a crushing hug.

"Batman," she squeals, "We did it, _you_ did it!" She finally lets him go and jumps up and down on the spot, Blaine unable to stop the massive grin light up his face. He hugs her again, the first time he has initiated contact with her and she seems to realise and hugs him closer. As they part she has tears in her eyes and Blaine smiles.

"Thanks Robyn," he whispers so only she can hear. The other glee members are milling around, awaiting their time to go on the stage again to hear their results. "I couldn't have done it without you, you believed in me." He looks so gratefully at her, aware that she has done so much to build his confidence up and her friendship is so important to him, he is suddenly worried that she doesn't know, that he hasn't been clear enough.

"You are very welcome, Batman," she said, tears still pooling in her eyes but her smile so wide, Blaine knows she isn't sad. "I'm just so very grateful to see you come alive."

And Blaine looks around at the others, peeks behind the red velvet curtains to see the audience waiting for decisions to be made and he realises he _has_ come alive again. Gone is the feeling of fear that overwhelmed him, gone is the mind-numbing guilt and sadness that life should be something else. He really is alive again and he hopes that if his mum and Cooper are able to watch from somewhere that they know he will always miss them, always feel at a loss without them but that he can come alive again and live for them. He turns to Robyn.

"You need to meet someone," Blaine said quickly, grabbing her arm and pulling her away from the other glee members. "Someone so important to me, just like you," he said, his face looking behind at Robyn's surprised expression as he continues to run slightly. He goes into the audience who are still waiting and chatting amongst themselves and he races to Kurt and his dad. They have been deep in conversation but upon seeing Blaine and Robyn they look up at him and stand, preparing to congratulate Blaine on his singing.

"Blaine," his dad said as he stands, "I'm so proud of you..." And it seems he can't finish his thought or sentence, his eyes suddenly full and he beams hoping to get something across, despite his lack of words.

"Thanks dad," Blaine said and he hugs his dad close, something he couldn't remember doing for quite some time. Kurt looks on at the both of them and soon spots Robyn standing quietly behind Blaine.

"You must be Robyn," Kurt said, extending his hand, "I'm Kurt." Robyn quickly looks at the outstretched hand, then upon hearing the name, she throws herself at Kurt who almost stumbles back at being greeted so enthusiastically.

"Kurt!" she squeals, her voice muffled in his shoulder and Kurt giggles. "I've felt like I've known you for ages." She finally lets Kurt go and beams at him. "I helped you two get together, you know," she said, pointing at both Kurt and Blaine and Will laughs.

"So this is Robyn," Will said and Blaine nods his head and chuckles.

"This is Robyn," he said still laughing.

* * *

Robyn and Blaine only get to the stage just in time to stand next to their fellow glee members as the results are announced.

They came in first.

There is a whoop from the audience before the rest erupt in applause and Blaine knows that Kurt and his dad are the first to shout and cheer. He is soon hugged by countless glee members and he realises that this is what Kurt was talking about. He is part of the team, he knows what it is like to belong to something and singing has done that. He had never belonged to a team in any of his previous schools, never had many friends that he can remember but now he has friends that count. He can finally look back at his high school experience with fond memories of competitions and friendship and know that he belonged and was part of something special.

* * *

They all meet afterwards for dinner – Blaine, his dad, Kurt and Robyn. They had waved goodbye to the glee club and as they sat after they had ordered, they all looked at each and laughed.

"I was wondering who was going to say something first," Will said.

Conversation seemed to flow after that, Robyn discussing all their rehearsals and preparations for nationals. They were to be in Ohio this year which made Robyn chuckle.

"Really?" Kurt asked, "That's awesome, I can see my dad," then he realised he had invited himself along, "If you want me to come that is," he finished.

"Of course I do," Blaine said, laughing, "You're clearly our lucky charm."

"That's ridiculous," Kurt said smiling, "But very sweet. I'm actually going to see my dad in a few days," he said, suddenly quiet, "He has a doctor's appointment." He said no more but Blaine knew it was the final appointment, the results would be in, they would know if the treatment had worked.

Once their food arrived the conversation turned to lighter topics and Robyn, who was sat opposite Kurt had an opportunity to lean closer to him and whisper, while Blaine was talking to his dad about the superhero writing club.

"How are you coping with it all?" she asked and Kurt looked up at her, her eyes twinkling in compassion and he realised what she was referring to. The conversation around them was happy but she had realised his quiet contemplation meant something else.

"I think I'm going a bit mad with all the waiting actually," he said, smiling without humour, "I've developed OCD and I've already started to pack and repack my bag as if I can control the situation with just the little things."

"That's understandable," she said, "The treatment's been going well though?"

"Yeah, it was stage 1 so very treatable and the prognosis looks optimistic but it's just the word 'cancer' isn't it? It has everyone thinking that's the end."

"Not anymore, there's so much good being done, results are so much better than they used to be."

"I know, I just don't know what I'd do without him," he said, "I lost my mum when I was eight, I can't lose him too. Seeing him in a coma a couple of years ago after a heart attack, nearly killed me."

Robyn was quiet a moment and Kurt realised he had been careless with his comments, had forgotten what Blaine had told him about her history.

"Gosh, I'm sorry Robyn," he started and she shook her head and smiled, reaching out for his hand.

"Don't be silly Kurt," she said, stroking his hand in affection, "I know what it's like and although my parents died when I was young, I still remember what it was like to hear my grandparents tell me they wouldn't be able to read me my bedtime story that night. I remember my little brain working its way around the idea that they would never be there again to tuck me in, never there to sing with me as we made pancakes and I cried myself to sleep for many nights."

Kurt didn't know what to say to that. He had been the same, missed his mother terribly when he was young but to know you were completely alone in the world at such a young age must have been terrible. Kurt thought back to how his dad had been the strong one, how they had grown ever closer, relying only on each other.

"It gets easier," she said simply, "You don't forget, but memories get clouded and you realise what you do have. I'm so grateful for my grandparents and that they're still alive and kicking. I know I will have no one when they're gone but I'm so grateful that they're here now."

Kurt didn't understand. Robyn looked so assured, like she knew she would be ok despite having limited family. He knew he would crumble without his dad, without his support network. Robyn seemed to recognise his confusion.

"No one stays alive forever Kurt," she said simply, "It helps to realise that every so often, it can only help to make you appreciate who you do have. I know I'm going to have Blaine in my life forever," she said confidently, chancing a glance his way. "I know he's a friend for life and I know I'll make more," she said, her eyes twinkling at Kurt, as if to suggest that he was surely going to become another one. "People meet for a reason, friendships are made when you need them most and actually when you think about it, no one is alone for real. My family will just be different."

Kurt felt tears pool in his eyes and realised conversation between Will and Blaine had ceased and they were both looking towards Robyn and Kurt. It was clear that deep discussions had been shared and Kurt looked at Blaine and Will and smiled amidst his tears that threatened to spill over. He took his glass and lifted it in celebration.

"To family and friends and good times," Kurt said and the others lifted their drinks, chinked glasses and drank to the most important things in life.

* * *

Kurt went home to Ohio a few days later, Blaine seeing him off at the airport, wishing he could skip school and go too. Kurt had assured him he would ring when he could and there he stood with Blaine, their arms linked around each other's waist, their noses only inches apart.

"Will you be ok?" Blaine asked quietly. He had noticed Kurt separating their sugar sachets as they had sat drinking coffee awaiting Kurt's flight and he was worried. He had helped him pack the night before, Kurt having packed, repacked and finally given up, ringing Blaine in desperation. The worry, the panic that the news might not be favourable pushed to the back of his mind. He concentrated on the comforting present time, the need for clothes, the order he had made of everything in his apartment he shared with Rachel. Kurt looked to Blaine's worried eyes now and felt relief that Blaine understood.

"Yeah I'll be ok when it's all over," he said, "Thank you for helping me last night."

"Don't be silly Kurt," he said, "I'll always be here, whenever you need me."

"I know," he said, "But thank you."

They kissed sweetly and Kurt sank into the kiss, wishing he could stay there forever, a place where there was no death, only love.

"Whatever happens I'll be here," Blaine said, "But I just _know_ everything will be ok."

"I believe you," Kurt said, "I think everything will be ok too, I just need to know for definite. When this is all over, you should meet my dad. He'd really like you."

Blaine's eyes widened in surprise. He had never met anyone's dad and he knew this was a big deal for Kurt. Kurt had met Will so easily it didn't really occur to Blaine that his dad was meeting his 'boyfriend'. Kurt smiled slightly at the obvious panic in Blaine's eyes.

"I think we're ready for that, don't you?" he asked Blaine, who could only nod slightly. "He'll love you Blaine, don't worry."

"Ok," Blaine said, "Just like my dad loves you." Kurt smiled. It was soon time for Kurt to board his flight and Blaine walked with him as far as he was allowed.

"Ring me when you get there?" Blaine asked, his eyes full of concern.

"Of course," Kurt said, preparing to let go of Blaine, who was reticent, still trying to keep hold of him. Kurt looked back at Blaine, whose eyes were warm and brown, a little like honey and Kurt sighed. He might be going home to see his dad, to hear hopefully great news but he stopped to look at the beautiful boy behind him who was still holding his hand, not wanting to let go. Maybe this was his new home, wherever this boy was and he couldn't wait to come back to him.

* * *

Blaine tried to fill his time as best he could after he had heard that Kurt had arrived safely in Lima. Burt's appointment was the following day and Blaine promised to ring to reassure him that night when he got home. Kurt was currently meeting friends that had returned to Ohio too and Blaine knew he would appear a possessive and annoying boyfriend if he kept ringing. He needed to do something and get out of his apartment.

He went to the superhero store and the alcove at the back, where he saw Steve soon approach him, a surprised look on his face.

"Blaine, I wasn't expecting you here, I know Kurt is away," Steve said.

"Oh yeah, he'll be back next week but I thought I would come to help anyway, I hope you don't mind?" Blaine said, suddenly worried.

"Of course," Steve said happily, "We always love it when you come here. Bobby will be happy that you're here for sure." Steve stepped back slightly so Blaine could see Bobby at his usual table. He was so engrossed in his drawing that he hadn't noticed Blaine come in and Steve looked back at Blaine, his gaze slightly worried.

"He's been very quiet today," Steve said, "I'm never sure what to say to him to help him." Steve looked at Blaine as if he was expecting great things and it made Blaine feel a little panicked that his expectations were too high. He nodded his head at Steve and walked over, determined to do his best.

He signed hello to Bobby as soon as Bobby looked up, noticing his light suddenly changing to a shadow as Blaine approached. Bobby smiled wryly and signed hello in return. Blaine sat next to him, instantly worried that Bobby looked burdened. He signed a general question about how he was and Bobby looked at him for a moment, clearly unsure how to respond. He finally signed that he was ok. Blaine had made an effort to learn more sign language since their last meeting but he didn't know how to tell Bobby that he didn't believe him. He hoped his face said more than his words could. Blaine found a piece of paper near Bobby and started writing.

_**How are you really?**_

Bobby looked at him, his eyes wide and he looked down, unable to meet Blaine's piercing gaze and demand for honesty. Blaine nudged him for an answer and Bobby started writing.

_A little trouble at school that's all._

_**What kind of trouble?**_

_A couple of guys threw me in a dumpster._

There was more, Blaine could tell.

_**And?**_

_They tore some of my drawings._

Bobby couldn't look at him, tears threatening to fall. Blaine just wanted to envelop him in a hug and assure him that not everyone was like that but he couldn't. He did the only thing he knew how to do.

_**Skies are crying, I am watching  
Catching tear drops in my hands  
Only silence as it's ending  
Like we never had a chance  
Do you have to make me feel like  
There's nothing left of me?  
**_

Bobby knew he was writing song lyrics as he stretched his head to see what Blaine was writing. He watched as Blaine's pen sped across the page, Bobby's eyes darting from left to right to read at the same speed.

_**You can take everything I have  
You can break everything I am  
Like I'm made of glass  
Like I'm made of paper  
Go on and try to tear me down  
I will be rising from the ground  
Like a skyscraper  
Like a skyscraper**_

_**As the smoke clears, I awaken  
And untangle you from me  
Would it make you feel better  
To watch me while I bleed?  
All my windows still are broken  
But I'm standing on my feet**_

_**Go run, run, run**_  
_**I'm gonna stay right here,**_  
_**Watch you disappear**_  
_**Yeah, oh**_  
_**Go run, run, run**_  
_**Yeah, it's a long way down**_  
_**But I am closer to the clouds up here**_

_**You can take everything I have**_  
_**You can break everything I am**_  
_**Like I'm made of glass**_  
_**Like I'm made of paper**_  
_**Go on and try to tear me down**_  
_**I will be rising from the ground**_  
_**Like a skyscraper**_

_**Like a skyscraper**_

Bobby still read the lyrics as Blaine finished and he could practically hear the music sing to him as he watched. Bobby couldn't write anything that matched what Blaine had written so he didn't. He avoided Blaine's gaze, instead focusing on the words as they blurred in front of him, his watery stare telling Blaine all he needed to know.

_**Never let those bastards grind you down**_

And Blaine's new words were written with such venom that his pen threatened to pierce the paper, his letters hard and unforgiving compared to the flowing cursive script of the lyrics. Bobby looked at him in shock as he read the harsh words.

_**You are worth so much more – just like a skyscraper – you are perfect and you'll rise above it all, I promise.**_

Blaine and Bobby exchanged no more messages that day but they drew quietly, taking solace in silence and drawing where worlds were perfect and characters beautiful.

* * *

**Song quoted:**

'Skyscraper' by Demi Lovato


	14. Chapter 14

**Warning: **This chapter deals with the original fic concept of suicide and depression.

**A/N**: Thank you to all those that have faved, followed and reviewed – nearly 100! Thank you so much :)

* * *

"Kurt?" Blaine asked into his phone as soon as it rang, but only silence could be heard. "Kurt?"

"Blaine," Kurt started and Blaine could hear the bubble of something just about to be expressed and he tensed his shoulders, prepared for anything.

"He's ok, Blaine," he said finally, "He's ok, the cancer has all gone!"

"Completely gone?" Blaine asked, incredulously, his body already straight in happiness at the news as if he was just about to jump in the air.

"Yeah, completely gone," Kurt said sounding incredibly excited and happy, "He'll be ok, the treatment worked."

"Oh Kurt I'm so happy," Blaine said, jumping for real now, a big grin on his face that he knew Kurt would be able to hear in his voice.

"And Blaine," Kurt said before he hung up, "My dad really wants to meet you." He said it so sweetly that Blaine could only beam that he was that important to Kurt.

* * *

School had never gone so slowly and Glee club never so argumentative. Zachary finally asked for a solo or duet to be considered for nationals which angered Bobby 'don't call me Roberta' and Robyn and Blaine deliberately stayed out of all the discussions. The glee director seemed to want to give all solos to Blaine but was deliberately being diplomatic with his answers. He agreed to try various themes for the next few assignments, allowing everyone a chance to shine and show their full potential for competitions. They seemed pacified for the time being.

Blaine practically ran out of school after saying goodbye to Robyn and jumped in his car, finally checking his phone that had been on silent during the glee club meeting. Kurt had text him to explain that he was just about to get on his flight to New York and that he would meet Blaine after a quick dinner later, probably about 8 o 'clock. Blaine replied and drove home, thinking of the food in his cupboards so he could start dinner for his dad.

Dinner was full of happy chatter about school and the positive signs for Burt. Kurt had explained everything in full detail on the phone so Blaine could explain it all to Will. As Blaine finished explaining all the treatments Burt had had and how he would need three-monthly blood tests, there was a pause as Will watched. Will had been listening attentively but as Blaine stopped his lips slowly rose in a smile that eventually took over his whole face.

"What?" Blaine asked quietly, a slight blush gracing his cheeks under his father's intense stare, "Why are you smiling at me like that?"

"When you talk about Kurt or anything related to him," Will said simply, "Your face Blaine," he paused as if it was obvious, "You look so happy, I've never seen you that happy."

Blaine was taken aback and he looked at his empty plate, his appetite definitely returning in full force. He hadn't noticed the changes but he looked up at Will's expectant face, his happy grin and he smiled in return.

"You love him," Will said simply and Blaine blushed again but thought what the hell. He nodded in acceptance.

"Yes," Blaine said more confidently, "Yeah, I do love him."

"Good," Will said, smiling and starting to clear the empty plates in front of them, "I hoped he might be sticking around for a while."

* * *

Blaine had three missed calls from an unknown number once he found his phone in his bedroom after dinner and thinking it was Kurt ringing about his flight from the airport, he rang it straight away.

"Kurt?" Blaine said as soon as he could hear that someone had answered.

"No sorry, is this Blaine?" Blaine didn't recognise the voice, but he sounded older.

"Yes…."

"This is Steve," he said, and qualified it with, "From the superhero store?"

"Oh yeah, hi Steve," Blaine said, "Do you need me to come in tomorrow? It's just that Kurt's returning later and his dad's ok so…."

"Oh that's fantastic news Blaine," Steve said a happy note to his voice but not as ecstatic as Blaine would have thought. "But that's not why I'm ringing."

"Oh sorry," Blaine said.

"It's Bobby," he started and clearly not knowing how to carry on there was an awkward pause where Blaine's mind filled the gaps. "Something's happened."

"What is it?" Blaine asked, sitting up on his bed, "The bullies again?"

"You knew about the bullies?" Steve asked, surprised.

"Yeah, he told me yesterday," Blaine said, "They had thrown him in the dumpsters and trashed his drawings. What did they do?"

"They didn't do anything today Blaine, it's Bobby. He tried to jump from a tall building in town."

"What?"

"They had to get someone to use sign language to persuade him to come down, but he's in a psychiatric ward now, under constant watch and his mum is devastated. He's only just been given paper, after they ran the medical tests. He wrote down that he wanted to see you, he's refusing to sign."

"I don't understand," Blaine started slowly, his mind whirring at the image of the skyscraper, at the desperation Bobby must have felt. "Why did he do it?"

"Apparently it's been happening for a while, the bullying I mean," Steve said sadly. "They throw him in dumpsters, destroy his drawings, taunt him using the little sign language they know or rude gestures. He hasn't been able to explain himself fully to anyone, no one knew. He never left a note so I think it was a cry for help but still, I wondered if you could help him."

Blaine wasn't sure how much of his history Steve knew but he didn't want to give anything away. The thought of seeing Bobby, trying to help seemed completely futile to him. He had known nothing really worked, you had to want to save yourself, you had to have that drive to stay alive in the end. But then he thought of Kurt.

Kurt was the one that had saved him if he was honest. He had been the greatest friend anyone could have asked for and he wondered now whether he would still be making regular trips to Williamsburg Bridge if he hadn't rung that night. Suddenly he had been able to tap into a support network that had been there all along if only he had noticed and Kurt had shown him. Robyn was there and his relationship with his dad was so much stronger. He had realised he wasn't the only one that suffered with the loss of his mum and Cooper, and Kurt had opened his eyes to it all. Beautiful, caring Kurt.

"Yeah, I'll try," Blaine said to Steve. Steve explained when visiting hours were the following day after school and Blaine promised he would be there.

To: Kurt [8.03pm]

**Can you meet me at the bridge after all? I need to speak to you, I've missed you so much xxx**

To: Blaine [8.04pm]

**What's wrong? Why are you at the bridge? Don't keep me waiting, I'll be there soon xx**

To: Kurt [4.05pm]

**Nothing's wrong with me I promise. Don't worry. I'll see you soon xx**

He knew he shouldn't have walked there again and made Kurt worry but the days were getting longer as spring appeared and tried to turn to summer and it seemed the right place to go after the news of Bobby. He walked there quickly and went along the bridge for the first time in quite a while. The bridge had loomed over him on his last visit, where Kurt had turned up and kissed him. He had sung of the power of Kurt, the power of love but the bridge had seemed so far away and concrete. He walked its metal structure, the rush of the cars from earlier now a steady stream of traffic, not too much, not too fast. Blaine turned from the cars to the water below.

He had been here before, watching the water ripple and curve, eddy and flow towards a better place no doubt. He had dreamt of water, of being clean and knowing no pain or guilt but as he stared now he only felt cold. The water chilled the warmth on Blaine's skin from the walk so now only cold air washed over him and it felt refreshing. It felt so strange being here, no longer feeling the pull to go forward, no longer wanting to fall and submerge. He knew then that he wanted to live. He could picture his future and it felt glorious. His father had read his expression so clearly earlier, had understood in his body language and what he spoke of, that Kurt meant everything to Blaine, had helped him see so much. He had known without Blaine saying it. He loved Kurt.

And he did love Kurt. He loved Kurt so much he suddenly pictured his face and felt a pang that he would be here soon, his to hold and touch again, his to speak to and listen to, his to sing with and cuddle. He couldn't believe what had happened in the last few months but as he looked to the water again, expecting to find the urge to jump he only wanted to search the bridge again, hoping that Kurt would be here soon and he could tell him. The bridge wasn't pulling him or urging him closer to the water with the promise of forgiveness, he just looked and saw the water for what it was. He could hear steps and he turned.

Kurt looked fierce. He was wearing the tightest grey jeans that Blaine had ever seen, with a dark grey jumper that engulfed him, making him look cuddly but Blaine noticed his ferocious dark boots and his stern expression and he walked closer.

"Kurt, Kurt," he said, coming forward, gripping Kurt's arms to force him to stop, "I'm ok, I'm ok, relax." And Kurt did seem to relax, his shoulders sink.

"I said before," Blaine said quieter now, "I don't need you to save me now, you already did that."

"I already did…." Kurt said sounding confused.

"Yeah, I realised it before but as I stood here I knew," Blaine said, smiling shyly. "It's been you all along. You saved me when you answered my call Kurt; you saved me when you listened, when you gave advice and believed in me. You saved me when you kissed me." He was practically whispering, causing Kurt to inch closer in his need to hear and understand what Blaine was saying. Kurt's eyes filled slightly as Blaine spoke. He looked so confident and full of life that Kurt was happy he had gotten to know him, happy that he had helped in some way.

"But I don't know how to help Bobby," Blaine whispered and Kurt didn't understand as he watched Blaine's face drop. "Bobby threatened to fall from a building earlier today," he said calmly and Kurt's eyes widened, not expecting this news at all.

"What?" Kurt jumped, about to run off down the bridge as if he could stop what had happened already.

"He tried earlier today," Blaine continued, taking Kurt's hand gently, "He was persuaded to come down and is now in a ward where he is watched constantly. He is allowed paper but he refuses to sign. He asked his mum if he could see me and Steve rang me earlier. I don't know what to say Kurt," he said, looking lost and Kurt didn't know how to take this pain from him now. "What do I do?"

"I don't know," Kurt said honestly, "I don't know Blaine but he will need us to be there for him, whatever help we can give."

Blaine looked at the water. He knew there was no magic answer, knew he could say nothing new to Bobby to help him to feel better but as he watched the water continue its path, he realised the ordeal he had gone through, the guilt, the weight and the despair – he knew that he could use all of that to help. The thought of going back there, to relive the pain when he had started to travel forwards made him want to run.

"What are you thinking?" Kurt asked after a while.

"I'm thinking that I haven't kissed you yet," Blaine said, not looking to see Kurt's surprised expression, "I haven't kissed those beautiful lips that remind me I'm alive and that you're here with me and perfect."

He looked up at Kurt and came closer, Kurt smiling in anticipation. Those lips had never looked more inviting and perfect and Blaine breathed him in as he came closer. He wound his arms around Kurt's waist in case he would disappear. He wondered if he might fly away as Kurt started to kiss him back and lick tentatively at his bottom lip to play with his tongue. Blaine felt like his hands were on fire as he clung closer, feeling Kurt's solid back underneath his fingers.

They kissed for a few moments until they required air and Blaine chuckled at the cherry red of Kurt's lips and his dazed smile.

"I think I needed that," Blaine said, smiling and taking Kurt's hand so they could move away. "I need you Kurt and I missed you so much. I know I don't express myself so confidently, I know I find romance difficult but you need to know," he said, both his hands clutching Kurt's now and his eyes widening earnestly.

"It's ok Blaine," Kurt said, "I know and I need you too you know," he continued as they walked away, leaving the water behind. "I couldn't have gone through what I did with my dad without you." Blaine looked at his hand within Kurt's and squeezed knowing that they were together and that nothing could shake them if they were entwined.

* * *

Seeing Bobby the following day after school was hard. Blaine had agreed to meet Kurt at the hospital straight after school and they knew Steve would be there too to introduce them to Bobby's worried and tired mother. She was outside Bobby's room when they came up.

"How is he?" Kurt asked as soon as he was introduced and he shook her hand.

"Physically he's fine," she said, having introduced herself as Suzanne, "I can't tell about the rest." She looked so worn out that Kurt wanted to instantly give her a hug. Instead he suggested they take a seat on one of the plastic chairs outside Bobby's room. Steve went to get coffees.

"I've never seen him like this," she said sadly, looking down at her thin hands that rested in her lap, "I mean he's always been quiet, never one to have full conversations with me, even though I know full sign language and I try. He always seems happy in his own world, desperate to remain there. He loves his drawings you know," she said looking between Kurt and Blaine, understanding how they knew her son, "And he can create little worlds right there on his paper. I sometime wonder if those characters can hear all the beauty around him and that's why he draws them. They can't talk back to him but maybe he knows what they would say." Blaine nodded in understanding. "He seems particularly drawn to you Blaine," she said, "He's always mentioned you Kurt, loves how you sign to him and make the effort but I get the impression when he signs about you Blaine that he doesn't tell me everything. When he wrote down that he wanted to see you, I guessed. You know what he's feeling? He knows that?"

Kurt looked at Blaine, worried that he might not want to discuss it with a new person, a relative stranger but Blaine looked at Kurt confidently and nodded as if to start.

"Yes," Blaine began, his voice slightly wobbly, "I struggled like he does and I don't know how he knows. I never spoke to him about my own troubles, he just seemed to understand. He said that his head was screaming, so I think he really struggles with being understood. I don't know how I can help him."

"I think you can help him just by being there," she said simply, "You'll listen and understand and show him that it really does get better."

"I'll try," he said and Kurt picked up Blaine's hand and squeezed it as it rested on his knee.

* * *

The conversation was difficult. Bobby still refused to sign despite Kurt signing in greeting and trying to be positive. He smiled slightly on seeing Kurt but looked to Blaine and Bobby's positive energy seemed to dissipate. Kurt understood and said he would be back soon.

Blaine sat next to him on his bed, careful not to sit on his feet and he waited. Bobby looked at him expectantly after a while and got impatient, taking the piece of paper by his bedside and starting to write furiously.

_Aren't you going to say I shouldn't have done that? Aren't you going to do something? _

_**What would you like me to do?**_

Bobby was taken aback at the question and he watched it carefully for a few moments as if inspiration would appear in front of him.

_You aren't going to say I shouldn't have done it?_

_**That's obvious – you're not stupid**_

Bobby read quickly and smiled at Blaine's words. Blaine wondered if that was the first time he had smiled since he arrived here.

_People think I am – people will think I chickened out, that I'm a coward._

_**It's the bravest thing to do – to go away from the building and return home where there is pain and guilt. That takes a lot of courage. **_

_What did you do?_

_**I walked to a bridge nearly every day, thinking I would fall and drown, hoping to end the pain but I never did fall.**_

_Well duh!_

Blaine chuckled.

_**Hey! You're not supposed to say that!**_

_What made you stop? Why didn't you fall?_

Bobby was looking at Blaine expectantly, his eyes wide and innocent and Blaine didn't know what to say.

_**I rang someone. I called for help and Kurt answered.**_

_Kurt answered? Wow._

_**I know, I was really lucky.**_

Blaine thought back to Kurt – patiently waiting for him outside, for listening and being perfect and he smiled.

_I don't think I'll ever find my 'Kurt'._

_**Yes you will.**_

Blaine wrote immediately and without hesitation.

_**You're only 13 right?**_

_14!_

_**Sorry, but I never knew anyone remotely like Kurt when I was 14. You have your whole life in front of you. Don't waste it.**_

_But that's easy for you to say. You can talk to people. People avoid me._

_**Not the best people. I had no friends, flitting from one place to another but I made an effort and now I have people that I never knew were there, including my dad. It takes hard work I know but it is so worth it. **_

_What about the bullies?_

Bobby looked so small there in his hospital gown as Blaine looked and thought about what to write next.

_**Make friends your goal, don't worry about the haters. Keep your most precious drawings at home and find a club, find people like you. There will be always be bullies at school but you need to stay true to yourself. Both Kurt and I have been bullied before, Kurt especially and he came out the other side. It does get better, I promise.**_

Bobby looked sceptical but smiled as Blaine continued to write.

_**And you have Kurt and I to help you. Let the people around you in a little. **_

_Ok._

* * *

Kurt and Blaine left soon afterwards. Kurt signed to Bobby a little before he left, Suzanne staring in wonder that Blaine had managed to get Bobby to communicate through sign again. He indicated that he was tired but Blaine and Kurt promised to see him again tomorrow.

"Thank you so much Blaine," Suzanne said as they all left the room, "I don't know what you said but you made such a difference. Thank you." She kissed him suddenly on the cheek and Blaine felt himself blush.

"We'll see you tomorrow," Kurt said politely as he led Blaine outside.

"What did you say?" Kurt asked as he took Blaine's hand.

"Just exactly what you would have said," Blaine said smiling and kissing Kurt on the cheek, "I told him we were there for him and that it gets better."

Kurt looked so proud as he smiled at Blaine. Thinking of how far Blaine had come was so beyond Kurt he decided instead to enjoy the walk with his boyfriend in the evening air as they walked to the station.

* * *

"Do you want to meet my friends, Rachel and Santana?" Kurt asked nervously as they arrived at the station.

"Are you sure?" Blaine asked, stopping in the street and looking carefully at Kurt.

"Yeah, I mean if you want to," Kurt said, worried that the gesture might be too much too soon.

"Yeah I definitely want to Kurt," he said smiling and he squeezed Kurt's hand in his.

Kurt sighed in relief. Ever since Blaine and he had become 'official' Kurt had wanted to rush through all the relationship milestones – friends, family, PDA but he had held back, realising this was all new to Blaine, all a little scary for someone who struggled with expressing himself and realising his own self-worth. As he looked at Blaine, confident, self-assured and blushing beautifully in the cool evening air, Kurt realised he was falling hard and he didn't care who knew it. It was nice to be in a relationship that felt so easy and loving.

"Kurt," Blaine said, breaking him out of his reverie and staring into Kurt's blue eyes so sincerely, "You worry too much about me. I love the way our relationship is going and I don't know why but I want everything and it scares me how fast I want it all with you but I do. I said earlier I'm not great at expressing myself and although I'm nervous I want to meet your family and friends, I want to see you all the time and kiss you and show you just how special you are to me."

Kurt sighed and smiled. He suddenly thought he couldn't possibly meet anyone more sweet and adorable.

* * *

Meeting Santana and Rachel was interesting. Rachel instantly hugged Blaine, giving him the impression she knew some of his history and how he had met Kurt but he didn't mind. Rachel insisted they sing together at Callbacks soon, saying that it would be good practice for wherever he decided to apply for college. Blaine was taken aback at the idea, thoughts of his future never really crossing his mind until now. He knew if he wanted to get in anywhere he would have to apply soon and he made a mental note to discuss it with Kurt.

Santana looked Blaine up and down as he entered and as Blaine and Kurt made coffee for everyone in the kitchen, she watched their interaction carefully. Blaine leant in close to Kurt and whispered something in his ear which made Kurt blush as they waited for the kettle. Kurt replied and Blaine chuckled and hearing his laugh made Kurt laugh too. Santana was still staring as the boys turned around.

"What are you doing Santana?" Kurt asked, slightly annoyed.

"Just checking you two out," she said smirking, "You seem ok Blaine," she finished, nodding her head. "You can stay."

"Thanks," Blaine said, smiling out of relief that she seemed to have accepted him and Kurt smiled, secretly glad that Blaine had met with her fiercely protective approval.

They all chatted for a while on the sofa, the only awkward moment coming when Santana asked where Blaine lived.

"Not too far from here," Blaine said, "With my dad."

"No mum?" she asked casually and immediately realised something was up as Kurt gave Blaine a worried look.

Blaine paused for a while, unsure how to answer. He turned to face Santana.

"No, she died two years ago, along with my brother."

Santana clearly didn't know what to say but Rachel rushed over and started stroking along his arm.

"Oh sorry hobbit," Santana said, looking genuinely sorry and unsure of herself.

"It's ok," Blaine said simply, "It gets tough to think about some times but it is what it is."

Kurt knew it had taken weeks for Blaine to feel that way. To express it with regret but less guilt, he knew had taken such courage and he simply kissed Blaine on the cheek. Blaine blushed where Kurt had kissed but smiled towards him. Santana looked to Rachel and then pulled her up roughly by the arm.

"Come on Rachel," she said, pulling her away from the boys and the sofa, "Let's get ready for bed."

"What?" Rachel said, not getting the hint, "But I was just finishing my tea."

"I'll make you a new one," she said, getting completely out of the boys' way and turning to wink at Kurt who blushed at the implication and turned to see a smirk from Blaine.

"She wants to leave us alone?" Blaine asked.

"Yeah seems like it," Kurt said blushing. They had never discussed moving their relationship forward, Kurt quite happy in his first serious relationship to take things slowly, knowing that Blaine felt the same. They looked at each other, turning in slow motion to smile, which caused a blush to creep along their faces.

"What do you do for privacy around here?" Blaine said. He had already noticed there were no doors in the apartment.

"We use sheets as doors," Kurt said blushing a deeper red, "But I've had to use ear plugs with Rachel and Brody," he said grimacing. Blaine laughed and Kurt realised it went a long way towards easing his nerves. Blaine simply got up and held his hand out to Kurt who remained on the sofa looking up. Blaine looked so confident standing there that Kurt would have thought he looked almost cocky if he hadn't noticed Blaine's shaky hand. Kurt took it in his and stood. Being a little shaky himself he nearly fell into Blaine's open arms and taking the opportunity, he pulled Kurt even closer and stared, for what felt an eternity, into Kurt's wide blue eyes.

"You're so beautiful," Blaine whispered, "How did I find you?" He looked so in awe of Kurt that he felt his insides turn to mush.

"You found _me_," Kurt said, smiling, "And I have been grateful every day since I met you."

They walked hand in hand to Kurt's makeshift bedroom and Kurt pulled the curtains closed and he turned to see Blaine smile.

"How far have you gone?" Blaine asked, suddenly realising Kurt was a year older and looked the way he did in New York.

Kurt shook his head. "I haven't," he said, "I've only dated. I was the only out gay kid at my school and…." He suddenly felt foolish. Surely he should be more experienced than that?

Blaine smiled. "Me neither," he said, "We can learn together then, take things slow?"

"Yeah," Kurt said swallowing and simply lying on the bed, hoping Blaine would join him too. Blaine walked slowly, watching Kurt lying so innocently on the bed, his breath hitching slightly at the sight in front of him. He lied down next to him and taking a deep breath he leant forward to place his warm lips on Kurt's. Kurt could taste the coffee he had drunk earlier and he melted into the kiss. After a while hands started to wander, explore and feel their way over shirts and finally to the warm skin underneath. Kurt's breath hitched at the touch of Blaine's fingertips and he was kissed more fiercely. Whenever Blaine kissed him like this, desperate and urgent it felt like it was their last, Blaine needing to feel Kurt underneath his fingers in fear that he might disappear. A few moments later, an accidental brush of a nipple and Blaine could feel Kurt's hardness underneath and he parted from him, looking at Kurt's bruised and red lips, his deep breathing making him look gorgeous and debauched.

"Sorry," Kurt muttered, looking down and embarrassed and Blaine chuckled.

"There is really no reason for you to apologise," Blaine said, still laughing lightly as he leant his lower half over Kurt who felt his own pressing need. Kurt met his lips in a fierce kiss, feeling urgent and suddenly hips were moved, friction sought and found and Kurt moaned into the kiss.

"God Kurt, you're so gorgeous," as bucking continued and although there was jean material in the way, it felt glorious and new. Blaine had never felt so connected to anyone and he slowly started kissing along Kurt's jaw to the sounds of Kurt's happy mewing. Blaine groaned at the beautiful sound and felt himself get closer as the movement continued. His hand hovered over the button on Kurt's jeans and Kurt nodded silently, his face an expression of ecstasy and Blaine undoes the button and places his hand over Kurt's underwear, feeling his hardness and bucking harder.

"Don't stop," Kurt begs as he bucks harder and faster into Blaine's hand and Blaine tries to hold on a little longer, tries to chase the feeling and teeter on the edge for as long as possible but the noises and Kurt's face make him topple and he comes in his pants. Kurt follows soon after, shooting over Blaine's hand as he rides it out.

Blaine collapses on Kurt's bed, his hand a glorious mess and he sighs, closing his eyes in pleasure. They take a while to come down, only heavy breathing returning to normal until Blaine feels the bed shift next to him and he looks up to find Kurt hovering over him with the most gorgeous and happy smile he has ever seen.

"That was amazing," Kurt said grinning.

"It was," Blaine breathes out and grins too, "You are amazing."

Despite the mess, Kurt relaxes on Blaine's chest and sighs in contentment, his fingers tracing patterns over his toned muscles.

"Can you stay?" Kurt asked, looking up at Blaine, such hope and unadulterated happiness in his eyes and Blaine nods, feeling his eyes tingle slightly at the sight.

"Always," Blaine said happily.

* * *

**A/N**: As always I'd love to know what you think.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N**: Wow over 100 reviews! Thank you so much! A fandabydozy shout out to ARomanticAtHeart for being the 100th!

* * *

After sending a text to his dad about staying the night, Blaine soon returned to his place next to Kurt in the bed, under the covers and his head in that sweet space between neck and shoulder. Kurt had looked a little worried that Will might not approve or that he would think Kurt was taking advantage but Will had quickly replied that he was fine with the situation and that Blaine was due a 'fatherly chat' soon. Blaine cringed as soon as he saw the message but Kurt laughed.

"It'll be fine," he said, tickling Blaine's warm naked side. "I had to endure a similar hardship; I think dads just like to do it to embarrass us."

It was nice just lying there. Blaine had changed into a spare pair of Kurt's sweats and had kept his chest bare so as he snuggled closer to Kurt under the covers, Kurt could feel along his side with his fingers. They lay like that for a while as Blaine dozed. He had never felt as at peace as he was then and he knew that Kurt's fingers, well any part of him really, was magic and made him feel awesome.

They must have drifted off like that but a few hours later Blaine started muttering and Kurt woke slowly, not quite sure where the noise was coming from. Blaine couldn't be understood but he seemed to be explaining something and he sounded worried, like he wasn't understood. Blaine was still tucked into Kurt's side and Kurt slipped away slightly so he could see Blaine's face. He was frowning and his shoulders had started to twitch with something akin to nerves. He looked like he was preparing his body to run. Kurt was just considering waking Blaine up, when Blaine shouted and jolted, as if his body was in shock and his eyes were opened wide, almost like something had forced him to see what was in front of him. He looked petrified and Kurt instantly touched his arms lightly, facing him in the hope that Blaine would calm when he recognised him.

"Blaine? It's me Kurt," he said and Blaine's eyes roved over his face as if he was taking him in and trying desperately to calm himself. Kurt saw the moment he realised where he was and that it was all a dream and his eyes returned to normal but his breathing became heavy and he started to shake lightly.

"Blaine? You're ok," Kurt said, not sure what else to say but he stroked along his arms and tried to get him to lie down again. "It was just a dream, it was just a dream."

Kurt's words were starting to sink in, Blaine's face softening as he seemed to understand but instead of relief all he could feel was heartbreak. It wasn't a dream. If only. Blaine shook his head, hoping words would come out soon.

"No," he started, "No dream…. Real."

Kurt waited, asked no questions, just continued to stroke along Blaine's arm.

"They were there, I was there and I couldn't stop it even though I knew it was coming," Blaine whispered, looking down at Kurt's fingers, not wanting to see the worry, or worse the pity in Kurt's eyes. Kurt simply made him lie down now and he lay sideways too, facing Blaine who was calming down slowly.

"I tried to explain that I didn't mean it, that I hadn't meant to do it but no one believed me. I'm always in a court and the judge looks so harsh."

"Blaine, no one judges you," Kurt said, sitting up on his elbow so he could be understood fully, "Blaine it wasn't your fault."

"I know it wasn't really, I know I didn't mean to do it but the simple truth is that if I wasn't there, if I hadn't diverted her attention they would both be alive today and I can never accept that Kurt." The final admission, the final sentence like a nail in a coffin was Blaine's absolute truth and he finally knew that although things may be different now, he may feel happier, he will always know this one sentence to be real.

Blaine let the tears fall slowly but surely now as Kurt continued to stroke his skin. Kurt touched his face, tried to wipe the tears away but they continued to fall. He touched his neck and the rougher skin under his jaw. He circled his muscles on his chest and kissed the lovely skin on his shoulder until Kurt's kisses became more fervent as Blaine choked out a sob. Kurt knew he could say nothing, that nothing could be said to erase such pain but he could be there and as Kurt kissed faster, touches more assured, Blaine seemed to sink a little lower in the bed and sobs turned to sighs.

Blaine closed his eyes against the pain and just tried to feel. He could feel Kurt coming closer, linking his arm around his waist and pulling him closer too. He knew that he was damaged, that Kurt was so much better, so beautifully perfect but as he felt the creep of his fingers along his skin he melted allowing Kurt to take over. If Kurt was here and his and so perfect, he wouldn't say no, he suddenly felt like he couldn't live without him. His eyes still closed, he leant forward in the hope that Kurt was near and kissed what skin he could find. His lips landed on Kurt's forehead and he kissed him again as Kurt came even closer and tilted his face up to meet his lips. Kisses were soft and slow, as if Kurt was slowly trying to bring him back to life again and Blaine could feel some kind of energy buzz again under his skin to make him tingle. More desperate, more fervent, Blaine started to kiss him with more passion and he couldn't help the moan that escaped. Coming closer, Kurt could feel the desperate hardness on his thigh and he groaned in turn as if to feel that primal need could right all the wrongs. He rutted against it and Blaine let out a loud moan and he pulled Kurt on top of him, clinging on and feeling the strong muscles of Kurt's back. Kurt rutted harder and faster, chasing the noises Blaine was making, wanting so badly to take everything else away. Blaine didn't want to think anymore, there was only this, only here and now and Kurt's warm lips against his own, Kurt's toned muscles under his fingertips and his heart beat alongside his own.

There was a sudden keening noise, an arch of his back and Blaine came long and hard and it seemed to take an age for him to come down. Kurt came soon after, relaxing into it and Blaine opened his eyes tentatively as Kurt finished. He silently went to get some wipes that they had used earlier and cleaned both of them and sinking under the covers he laid there, simply watching Kurt as he eventually drifted off to sleep.

* * *

"Hey," Kurt whispered as Blaine woke a few hours later. The sun was starting to rise on a new day and Blaine would have to leave for school soon. He should probably go home first to change but it was warm here and comfortable and Kurt looked so beautiful just lying there. Kurt smiled.

"Do you want some coffee?" Kurt asked and Blaine could only nod, tears filling his eyes that Kurt was here and his.

"Hey what's wrong?" Kurt whispered, coming closer, kissing along his cheek to try to soothe him.

"Nothing, I'm just sorry for last night, for disturbing you," Blaine whispered, blinking back the tears.

"Don't be silly," Kurt said, "You never disturbed me Blaine. I worry and I hate to see you like that. I want it all to end, I want your pain to just disappear and vanish and never come back."

"It does sometimes," Blaine said, looking deep in Kurt's blue grey eyes awash with love and hope. "It does when I'm with you, when you're near." Kurt smiled sadly as if doubting the effect he had on anyone's happiness but acknowledging it nonetheless.

"Then I always want to be near," Kurt said simply before he leant in for a kiss.

* * *

Things settle into a routine for a while. Blaine spends more nights with Kurt after the inevitable discussion with his dad and he becomes impossibly closer to Kurt as if they have suffered a battle together and will be able to defeat the enemy again another day. Life continues, school and work and NYADA, and dreams are thought of and discussed. Bobby recovers and is allowed out of the hospital, his mum moving him to school for the deaf. Suddenly Bobby finds friends he never knew he could have, experiences shared and although he knows no one there that likes Manga as much as he does, he continues to go to the superhero store, to draw and see Blaine and Kurt.

It is only their three month anniversary but Blaine is determined to make it special for Kurt and to truly show him how much he means to him so he takes him to a famous Oyster Bar and Restaurant by the Grand Central Terminal.

"Is this your way of telling me you're horny and want to go further?" Kurt jokes as he gracefully tries to slurp on his oyster. Blaine nearly chokes on his and splutters as Kurt laughs.

"No," Blaine said, "I mean if you wanted to… I mean that's not why I brought you here." He sighs in defeat which makes Kurt chuckle even more.

"I know Blaine," he said smiling warmly, "I'm ready when you are, I promise we can take it as slow as you like." Blaine blushes at the thought of going further.

"There is a place I want you to see," Blaine said, looking slightly panicked at the knowledge of what he is about to do. Kurt looks intrigued and they soon pay their bill and leave.

Blaine walks him to the archways that are underneath the terminal and moves him slightly so he is tucked away in the corner of one of them and gently places Kurt's ear against the wall. Kurt looks in his direction, his eyebrows raised in confusion and question but he does as instructed and waits patiently. Once Blaine checks no one is near, he walks to the other archway and presses his lips to the stone and whispers.

Kurt knows what is said before he realises Blaine is murmuring on the stone and the voice comes out loud and clear, startling Kurt and causing him to jump back in surprise. Hearing the wonderful words, he hurries to press his mouth to the stone in reply, a big grin on his face.

"I love you too, I love you so much."

* * *

**A/N**: When I found out about the Grand Central Terminal 'whispering gallery' I just had to include it in the story! I hope you like it; let me know what you think.

Two chapters left I think.


	16. Chapter 16

Blaine's audition for NYADA came far too early and he didn't feel prepared. Kurt had helped him with his application and had described his own experience of first and second auditions, of Rachel's choke and how the best idea was to defy expectations and wow with emotion. The more they discussed it, the more worried and nervous Blaine became and the knowledge that Kurt and his dad would be there to watch made him feel all the more unprepared and inexperienced.

"You'll be amazing Blaine," Kurt whispered in his ear as they lay together in bed the morning of the audition, "Just keep it simple and sweet. It'll be beautiful, I promise."

Blaine had deliberately kept it a secret from Kurt, had wanted to surprise him so as he waited backstage to be called by the tutor who was to observe his performance, he bit his lip in worry and wrung his hands that it may be too simple and not what NYADA wanted at all. He could see his dad and Kurt waiting in the auditorium near the back so to remain inconspicuous and all of a sudden his name was called and he was invited to the stage.

"Hi, my name is Blaine Anderson and I will be singing _Wonderwall_," he said as he stood in a simple black outfit with purple bowtie. His hair was slicked back and although he looked sombre, his purple boat shoes without socks made him stand out slightly from the crowd.

_Today is gonna be the day  
That they're gonna give it back to you  
By now you should've somehow  
Realized what you gotta do  
I don't believe that anybody  
Feels the way I do about you now_

_Backbeat the word is on the street_  
_That the fire in your heart is out_  
_I'm sure you've heard it all before_  
_But you never really had a doubt_  
_I don't believe that anybody feels_  
_The way I do about you now_

Despite the distance, Kurt could hear the wobble in Blaine's voice as he sang and the twinkle of tears in his eyes but instead of making him appear unprofessional and sloppy, he looked wonderful up there on stage. Kurt knew he was meant to perform and sing as he watched Blaine sing his heart out, like he had only one chance to show Kurt exactly what he meant to him. Kurt sat forward in his seat, oblivious to Will next to him and intent on catching everything.

_And all the roads we have to walk are winding  
And all the lights that lead the way are blinding  
There are many things that I would like to say to you  
But I don't know how_

_I said maybe_  
_You're gonna be the one that saves me_  
_And after all_

_You're my wonderwall_

_Today was gonna be the day_  
_But they'll never give it back to you_  
_By now you should've somehow_  
_Realized what you've gotta do_  
_I don't believe that anybody_  
_Feels the way I do_  
_About you now_

_And all the roads we have to walk are winding_  
_And all the lights that lead the way are blinding_  
_There are many things that I would like to say to you_  
_But I don't know how_

_I said maybe_  
_You're gonna be the one that saves me_  
_You're gonna be the one that saves me_  
_And after all_  
_You're my wonderwall_

His voice faltered slightly at the end but Kurt knew everything. Wherever life took them, no matter the path or the walk, they would make it and they would save each other.

_You're my wonderwall  
_

Blaine took a simple bow at the end and thanked the man who had come to watch him as he left the stage. He wouldn't find out if he had been accepted for a few weeks but Kurt knew he had won a place with that performance and he had definitely won his heart. Seeing Blaine leave the stage he ran down the auditorium steps and to the wings where he knew Blaine would be hiding and he enveloped him in a hug so tight Blaine thought he might be squashed to death and it would be glorious.

"I love you," Kurt breathed near his ear, "I loved it, I love you." He repeated it as a mantra and Blaine felt a tickle of laughter erupt from his chest as he was contained in the hug, kept so warm and close that it was perfect.

"Thank you," Kurt whispered, "Thank you for being everything and amazing and…." He couldn't finish as he wrapped his arms around Blaine, no more words spoken until they met Blaine's father in the audience seats.

* * *

Rehearsals took up a lot of Blaine's time and soon it was time to go to Ohio where nationals were to take place and Blaine would finally meet and spend time with Burt. To say he was nervous was an understatement but Kurt knew just the way to ease any worry.

"I need to show you my bridge," Kurt said as they arrived in Ohio after their flight.

"Your bridge?" Blaine asked, already knowing that he meant so much more than a real bridge. Blaine rarely visited the bridge in Williamsburg now but when he did it was his place to think and feel if ever he needed it. It didn't have the same hold over him now but it was there, a solid reminder of how far he had come and how far he could travel with Kurt by his side.

"The place I go to escape, kinda like your bridge," Kurt said.

"You want to take me there?" Blaine asked, awe in his voice that Kurt wanted to show him somewhere so private.

"Yeah of course," Kurt said smiling, "You're in my town now." And they linked arms as they wove their way through the airport to find Burt.

As soon as Burt's eyes alighted on Kurt, he was enveloped in a hug and all Blaine could see was the top of a hat. Deep chuckles and pats on the back ensued until they were both hugged out and finally parted so Burt could meet Blaine.

"So you're Blaine?" Burt asked as they shook hands. He apprised him quickly, giving Blaine the impression he was being scrutinised and as Burt finally nodded his head, it seemed that Blaine passed an unknown test.

"Nice to meet you sir," Blaine whispered, not able to make eye contact just yet but trying to appear confident and self-assured.

"No need for sir, it makes me feel old," Burt said smiling, "I'm really glad to finally put a face to the name. Kurt here talks only of you and how amazing you are so it'll be nice to finally understand what he's talking about." He winked at Blaine as he led the boys out of the airport, a silent camaraderie already forming at Kurt's expense who looked a little pink at Burt's comment.

The drive to Lima was full of pleasant conversation where Burt got to ask his questions, find out all about Blaine and what made him tick. Blaine was surprised as they left the car, knowing that Burt had somehow managed to wheedle out of him all his dreams and plans for the future with only a few polite questions.

"I'll put your stuff in Kurt's bedroom," Burt was saying as he went upstairs and Blaine only had time to quickly glance in Kurt's direction in surprise before Burt was asking them to follow him with Kurt's stuff.

"We had the talk," Kurt whispered as they entered his bedroom.

"What did you think - I wouldn't let you stay here in this room?" Burt asked laughing, catching the end of the conversation, "You're both adults now and Kurt doesn't live here anymore and I trust you," he said simply and left them alone, saying that Carole would be home soon to make dinner and meet Blaine.

"I can't believe it," Blaine breathed out in relief, "He's letting me stay here."

"I know, my dad's actually pretty cool," Kurt said smiling and rearranging some of his opened suitcase.

"Cool?" Blaine asked incredulous, "He's awesome; I can't believe I was so worried."

"Yeah don't be," Kurt said sitting on the bed lightly, "I mean he may look gruff but he's a sweetie really," Kurt said laughing.

Blaine turned and watched Kurt sitting on the bed and paused taking in the beauty of the man sitting there. Kurt was dressed simply but the outfit was tight in all the right places and at his lowered height from the bed, his blue grey eyes looking up at Blaine with such open honesty and adoration Blaine could only sink against him and capture his lips in a sweet kiss.

"I can't believe I'm here with you," Blaine whispered against his lips and he lowered his body so he was kneeling in front of Kurt between his legs and looking up at him with wide honey coloured eyes.

"I sometimes think I'm dreaming," he continued slowly, his voice quiet and measured. "I think sometimes that I might wake up to find myself still at that bridge and about to jump and that none of this ever happened and you're not there."

"I'll always be here," Kurt promised, "As long as you're there for me."

"I promise," Blaine said, sealing the promise with a kiss.

* * *

Kurt took Blaine to his 'bridge' after dinner as promised. He met Carole who pronounced Blaine 'a sweet boy' and hugged him when she found out what had happened to his mum and brother. Kurt held his breath as she had asked about his family and Blaine simply relayed the information that they had died in a car accident. No mention was made of the nature of the accident but Kurt knew Blaine had shown enough courage with that simple statement. They held hands as they walked, a simple silence reigning over them as they took in the summer evening around them.

Kurt took him to a park that opened late and as they walked to the hill that overlooked Lima Kurt pulled him up as if he needed that last tug to help him. They finally sat and watched as the sun set on the horizon, the last of its pink fading ahead. They sat together on the little blanket Kurt had brought along and held hands as they watched, the silence as golden as the colours in the sky. There was such a peace there that neither boy wanted to disturb it until it finally faded and there was only a light grey at the bottom of the darkness.

"Why did you used to come here?" Blaine asked quietly, not looking at Kurt in case he wanted to relay the information.

"When I wanted to escape, a little like your time at the bridge," Kurt began, the first time he had told anyone about the place they sat. "I never wanted to kill myself but when things were tough, when the bullying became overwhelming, when I found out about my dad's cancer and when I thought he might die after that heart attack – I would come here and sit and wonder how life could continue when there's always so much pain and heartbreak everywhere else. This place is detached from all of that isn't it, it goes on regardless and never changes. It's nice to know that there's something more than myself, something bigger and more amazing." Kurt continued to stare at the changing colours of the sunset. He knew there were more spectacular views and whenever he saw the skyline of New York or a trip to a seaside he always felt awe and admiration but here, in Lima, in a simple park on a hill, he knew it was home and he held on a little tighter to Blaine's hand as they watched.

* * *

Nationals approached and song choices had been fought over and decided. Robyn and Blaine who had dominated the last competition knew they couldn't fight over any solos this time but it was unanimously decided that they should sing a duet and stand together on stage. It seemed that in their simple singing and unadulterated innocence they captured many an audience and the Melody Makers wanted to capitalise on that feeling. They stood together, holding hands almost against the world in its cruelty and smiled as they waited for the music to start. Robyn started, clutching Blaine's hand tight and winking at him.

_I pray for better days to come  
I pray that I would see the sun  
Cuz life is so burdensome  
When everyday's a rainy one  
_

Blaine could just about see Kurt and Burt in the audience, could see the proud smiles and the twinkle in Kurt's eye and he knew that he was everything and this was his time.

_But suddenly there's no more clouds  
I believe without a doubt  
That heaven sent an angel down  
And then he turned my life around_

_You know and I know_  
_Friends come and friends go_  
_Storms rise and winds blow_  
_But one thing I know for sure_

Blaine and Robyn parted hands, the rest of their glee club joining in and singing harmonies in the background.

_When it's cold outside  
There's no need to worry cuz  
I'm so warm inside  
You give me peace  
When the storm's outside  
Cuz we're in love I know  
It'll be alright  
Alright it's alright_

_Now peace is so hard to find_  
_We're terrorized and victimized_  
_But that's when I close my eyes_  
_And think of you to ease my mind_  
_You take me to another place_  
_There's no more war (no more war)_  
_Just love and grace_  
_Baby you restore my faith_  
_I know the struggle's not in vain_  
_You know and I know_  
_Through all the battles_  
_Baghdad to Israel_  
_There's one thing I know for sure_

_When it's cold outside_  
_There's no need to worry cuz_  
_I'm so warm inside_  
_You give me peace_  
_When the storm's outside_  
_Cuz we're in love I know_  
_It'll be alright_  
_Alright it's alright_

_Alright it's alright_  
_Alright it's alright_  
_Alright it's alright_

_Oh it's gonna be alright_

They won and Blaine knew that wherever life took him, whether he was accepted at NYADA or not, there Kurt would be and everything was always going to be alright.

* * *

**A/N: **Thank you so much for all the lovely reviews and so many faves and follows :) One chapter left!

**Songs quoted**:

'Refuge (When It's Cold Outside) by John Legend

'Wonderwall' version sung by Hurts but originally by Oasis


	17. Epilogue

**A/N**: Last chapter! Can't believe it, I've loved writing this fic so much. Well here goes, as always let me know what you think.

* * *

There was a moment just before Blaine rang Kurt, who he merely knew as a faceless voice, a desperate way to cling onto life and feel again. He had felt that hope grow like a flicker of a flame as it steadily gets bigger with love and attention. As Blaine walked Kurt home one evening, when he knew Rachel and Santana were staying out at a party until the early hours, (they promised, wink, wink), they held hands and Blaine knew that after all that had happened, this was the happiest he had ever felt.

It wasn't that he hadn't had happy moments recently, far from it really, but in that moment as their hands swung in between them, their hands cosy and warm together, Blaine knew that this was where he belonged and it had never felt more calming and beautiful.

They had had the 'discussion' about their sexual relationship a few weeks ago, much to Kurt's embarrassment but it was only as they walked to Kurt's apartment that Blaine remembered that feeling atop the bridge that windy day. Blaine had never felt so lost and desperate for someone to understand. He had felt the wind in his hair, could smell the faintly lingering salty odour of the river below and hearing Kurt's voice he had felt hope stir up some kind of passion for life again. Kurt had used a simple phrase but one that held so much importance to Blaine, that he knew that Kurt would never understand just how important it was.

Blaine was nervous about what they were going to do but as Kurt closed the apartment door behind both of them Blaine turned and offered the sweetest smile at a timid looking Kurt.

"Hey," Blaine whispered and Kurt looked at the sweet gorgeous guy ahead of him in his apartment and smiled in return.

"Do you remember that song you quoted to me that first night I rang?" Blaine continued.

Kurt looked slightly taken aback at the random question and wracked his brain for any clue as to what he had said. He remembered feeling so very panicked at his first real call. Most of the calls he had dealt with involved questioning youths who were worried about coming out to their family and friends. Blaine had shaken Kurt, threatening to fall and expecting answers. Kurt knew he had none.

"I don't remember what I said…." Kurt began.

"You said: 'don't let go, never give up, it's such a wonderful life'," Blaine whispered and Kurt's eyes widened at the realisation that he had said that and that Blaine might know where it was from.

"You stole it," Blaine said smirking slightly as Kurt continued to rest his back on the door.

"I'm sorry," Kurt said, suddenly coming forward, perhaps to reassure him. "I panicked; it was the only thing I could think of."

"Don't be silly Kurt," Blaine said, gripping Kurt's biceps in order to calm him, Kurt's eyes now wide. "You said the only thing that could possibly have saved me." Kurt looked at Blaine strangely. He had no idea how he could have made that much of a difference with such a simple quote from a song.

"My mum loved that band before she died, it was probably her last obsession," Blaine said, walking slowly to the sofa. Kurt followed silently, knowing that this was important. "She said it reminded her of the 80s and the greatest music." They sat down, Kurt curling his legs underneath so he was facing Blaine and could listen attentively.

"She loved that song that you quoted and it almost made me lose my breath when you quoted it. I couldn't believe you would know that song too."

"I had heard it once or twice so I didn't know it well but that line has always stuck," Kurt said by way of explanation.

"I thought it had to be a sign at the time, you had to be from somewhere else," Blaine said, "I guess I knew you were special to me, if you believe in that kind of thing," he said a little embarrassed.

"Not really," Kurt said smiling, "But I think things happen for a reason. I think I was meant to pick up."

"Do you know the rest of the song?" Blaine asked.

"Only slightly," Kurt admitted.

Blaine closed his eyes and Kurt wondered what he was doing before Blaine opened his mouth and started to sing.

_On a bridge across the Severn on a Saturday night__  
__Susie meets the man of her dreams.__  
__He says that he got in trouble and if she doesn't mind__  
__He doesn't want the company_

Blaine opens his eyes slowly and looks at Kurt who is still looking at him intently, tears starting to prickle at his eyes as he watches.

_But there's something in the air__  
__They share a look in silence and everything is understood__  
__Susie grabs her man and puts a grip on his hand as the rain puts a tear in his eye.__  
_

Blaine maintains the look, now tender and searching but he knows he's found it. He goes a little closer to Kurt, still singing and he touches the skin he can see. Kurt starts to close his eyes, the intensity in the brown green eyes looking back at him, something he wants to remember like a print on his memory.

_She says:__  
__Don't let go__  
__Never give up, it's such a wonderful life__  
__Don't let go__  
__Never give up, it's such a wonderful life_

_Driving through the city to the Temple Station,__  
__He cries into the leather seat__  
__And Susie knows her baby was a family man,__  
__But the world has got him down on his knees__  
_

Blaine starts to whisper the song, merely a ghost of a voice as he allows his lips to trail over the pale skin of Kurt's neck. Kurt can barely hear the song now but he can feel the murmur vibrating along his skin and making it tingle.

_So she throws him at the wall, her kisses burn like fire,__  
__And suddenly he starts to believe__  
__He takes her in his arms and he doesn't know why,__  
__But he thinks that he begins to see__  
_

And Kurt does start to feel like he's on fire as Blaine finishes the song. He's not nervous, just so in love with the boy doing these amazing things to his neck. His heart beats faster, he feels all the blood rush south as Blaine kisses along his jaw to find his ear, where Blaine finishes perfectly, making the hairs on the back of Kurt's neck stand up.

_Don't let go__  
__Never give up, it's such a wonderful life__  
_

It is just one look before Blaine rushes, his lips firmly placed on Kurt's own. Kurt's breath hitches, making him feel like he is finally coming alive despite the sudden lack of air. He is pressed back to fall slightly on the sofa where Blaine peppers his face and lips with kisses which become more impassioned. Kurt feels his hardness and Blaine parts from him slightly as if he is only just aware of what he has been doing. He merely stands and offers his hand confidently, preparing to lead Kurt to his bedroom with the makeshift door.

Blaine undresses Kurt before he moves Kurt slightly to lie on the bed to watch Blaine undress. It is slow and loving and Kurt almost wants to cry at the sight before his eyes. As they lie together, so exposed and close, only warm skin and dustings of hair between them, Kurt just strokes every part that his fingers graze, causing Blaine to shiver slightly. Although they have done many sexual things now, the slow tender touches cause the power to build but the love almost overwhelms them as they lie together, drinking in every touch, every moment.

Blaine strokes Kurt lightly and his eyes close so he can feel the hand that is so much better than his own. He looks at Kurt enquiringly as he prepares him, slowly and carefully which has Kurt bucking up in pleasure and desperation.

"Oh fuck," Kurt breathes, "Blaine, I can't take it…. _Please_."

Blaine smiles slightly, in awe of the beautiful man coming undone beneath him and prepares himself. Looking down, Kurt's bare body and spread legs, his chest and neck slightly red and his eyes squeezed shut against the intense pleasure, he looks gorgeous.

"Open your eyes," Blaine whispers as he comes closer and Kurt opens them, his blue eyes swirling with tears.

"You're so beautiful Kurt, so beautiful," and Blaine is so sincere that he can only be believed. Kurt smiles.

"I love you," he says simply and Blaine smiles too as he enters him, causing a gasp of slight pain as he is stretched. They find a rhythm, never breaking eye contact despite the gasps of pleasure and Blaine knows he has hit that spot as he shifts slightly and Kurt almost shouts his groan.

"Fuck," Blaine says, looking at his debauched face, "This is so perfect."

"I know," Kurt can only whisper as he feels himself drawn closer and closer to the edge. Blaine gets faster and harder as his confidence grows and Kurt knows he will come soon. Blaine strokes him lightly as he rests between them and he comes, clenching around Blaine who comes shortly after.

They are cleaned, neither really remembering who did it but they find themselves again, together and overlapping as they drift to sleep. Blaine murmurs near Kurt's ear as he prepares to sleep, tucking himself in the space between Kurt's neck and shoulder and Kurt doesn't understand what is said at first but Blaine repeats it as a sweet mantra.

_Don't let go__  
__Never give up, it's such a wonderful life_

_Especially with you in it_

* * *

It is gradual how the confidence grows but Kurt notices and Will has seen and understood the change that has occurred in Blaine's life over the last few months. Nothing is said by either but it is recognised and known. It is Robyn that looks at him carefully as they finish their little set at her grandpa's nursing home and finally says what is on her mind.

"I knew you were always marvellous but now you're just awesome," she said, causing Blaine to pause on the way to the sofa seats where Robyn's grandpa was seated. "I look at you and I know." Blaine looked at her in confusion and she laughed. Blaine always likes her laugh – infectious and bubbly, she shows too many teeth but the twinkle in her eyes and her rosy cheeks show that she loves and is loved in return for all that she is.

"I know that you've made it," she continued as if he is slightly stupid and needs her to clarify. "You are who you are supposed to be. When I think back to how you were when we first sang here, now we sing here every week and you're it. You are Blaine."

They hadn't reached the corner where Reg sat yet but Blaine paused his walking to look carefully at Robyn who merely looked at Blaine as if finally realising she had said something important.

"You really think that?" he asked. She nodded. "Thanks."

"You're welcome Batman," she said as she links her arm through his, walking him to her grandpa who is waiting to critique their performance and ask about glee club and school.

* * *

Blaine's letter arrives earlier than expected. Both Rachel and Kurt have been trawling NYADA chatrooms online to see if letters have been arriving and it seems Blaine is one of the first.

"It's obviously a good sign," Rachel said, her face beaming as she waited for Blaine to open it. He had rushed to Kurt's apartment as soon as he had seen it on the table at home, knowing he could only read it there.

"Open it for me," Blaine said, pushing it Kurt's way. Kurt put his own hands behind his back and shook his head.

"Nope," he said, "This is your chance to shine, take it."

Blaine nodded in understanding, feeling a warm glow that Kurt believed in him even when he doubted himself. He opened the letter gingerly and scanned the letter infuriatingly slowly as Rachel and Kurt waited with bated breath.

"Well?" Kurt said, "I'm dying here Blaine."

Blaine's stoic expression revealed nothing but as he looked up at Kurt as if coming out of a daze, his expression changed to one big grin.

"I got in!" he said, "I have been accepted."

A beat of silence. News settling in and then squeals. Jumping and linking arms and happy dances until Blaine stopped and realised what it would mean for his dad.

"What's wrong?" Kurt asked.

"My dad," Blaine said, "I never thought to ask if he would want to stay here. Maybe he'll get a job somewhere else."

"You can live here," Rachel said, her eyes wide in excitement.

"No Rachel I couldn't," Blaine said simply, "I hope to one day make Kurt the happiest guy ever and marry him and have all the babies but I don't want to move in because I don't have a home here. I want it to be special." He looked to Kurt in worry but Kurt stroked along his arm and smiled.

"I understand Blaine, I think that too."

"I think you need to speak to your dad then," Rachel said. And he went home to do just that.

* * *

His dad was busy marking when he entered, peering over essays with such little light that Blaine immediately switched it on.

"Oh thanks," Will said, peering at the door to smile at Blaine. "I didn't notice I was blinding myself. How you been?"

"Good thanks, dad," Blaine said, taking a seat the other side of the room as Will continued to mark. After a while, the silence now uncomfortable and unusual in the apartment, Will looked up.

"Anything wrong?"

"No, nothing's wrong," Blaine said, sitting up, trying to give the impression of correctness.

"That's where you went wrong before," Will said, "You should always tell me."

Blaine's face softened as he realised the truth and he braced himself.

"I got my letter from NYADA today."

"Really?" Will said, instantly excited and Blaine couldn't help but think that Rachel would get on really well with him. "Why didn't you say as you soon as you came in? What did it say?"

"I got in," Blaine said simply.

"You did?" Will got up, forcing Blaine to do the same and gave him the biggest hug. "I can't believe it," he said, parting from him and then laughing. "Well I can believe it actually, you were so fantastic at your audition, I knew you'd do well."

"Thanks, dad."

"Why the sad face?" Will asked, his expression one of confusion. "I'd thought you'd be ecstatic."

"I guess I worried about you and what you'd do here," Blaine said in one breath and Will took one step back.

"Really?" he said, "You worried about my reaction?"

"Well I mean I knew you'd be happy for me I guess," Blaine said, trying to make it better, "But just the thought of you not being here and maybe having to work somewhere else, well…."

"But Blaine I'm not going anywhere," Will said quietly, finally realising how the moves had affected him over the years. "They offered me a permanent position and are waiting for me to accept. I wanted to find out your situation before I told them. I'll do whatever you want me to do Blaine but I think it's important we stick together. You're all I've got and…."

He wasn't allowed to finish. Blaine finally understood and he burst into laughter and gripped his father close, laughing in relief.

"I can't believe we're staying here," Blaine breathed as he finally let go. "We're staying in New York?"

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure we've belonged here ever since we moved when you were little but I guess when your mum died I couldn't bear it." He looked down and Blaine understood and stroked his arm.

"I think it's just full of happy memories now," Will continued, "Full of times with Kurt and Robyn and you becoming the man you were meant to be. I couldn't move you now."

"Thanks Dad," Blaine said, hugging him close once again. "I love you."

"I love you too."

* * *

The bridge remained – solid and cold, metal and unfeeling. Sometimes other people went over it in their cars or along the walkway, some even considering suicide but whenever Blaine went near it, especially with Kurt by his side, he knew that it held no real power. The bridge was now just a place where he had met the love of his life, one cold windy day when he had wished to escape.

The real courage was in walking away and he knew now, because he had experienced it. He knew that it really was a wonderful life if you looked and understood and found joy in the small things and the large. Life wasn't always simple or carefree but Blaine found that he could go through most things as long as he had Kurt and he hoped he was the same support in return.

That day he rung Kurt – a day which had started so badly but finished with so much hope – was truly a wonderful day as Blaine looked back but as he sat watching a movie with Kurt he knew that as long as he was in it, it would be a wonderful, wonderful life.

* * *

**A/N**: Thank you so much for all the lovely reviews and follows and faves. Thank you so much to Sekai-GDL who is translating it into French! You all make my day, so thank you loads and loads :)

**Song quoted**:

'Wonderful Life' by Hurts


	18. Future drabbles

I've had a few requests for further chapters and I would love to hear suggestions from you lovely people.

I have a couple of ideas and it will just be drabbles in the same verse, either going into detail about things I glossed over or memories or times in the future where Blaine and Kurt are in college.

I'd love suggestions and prompts so feel free to PM me.

Thanks for the lovely reviews and interest in my little story – it means loads to me :)


	19. Sequel

I've started the sequel to Wonderful Life, calling it Safe and Sound after the Capital Cities song I used in the first story.

At the moment the sequel will be a collection of one-shots based on their time at college, so any ideas are greatly appreciated.

Thanks for all the interest - hope you like it :)


End file.
